Yesterday we listed some great movie remakes. Of course, a lot of remakes do suck. Some of them are outright atrocities. We’re looking only at movies with a sci-fi or supernatural bent to them. Here’s our list of the worst of the worst.
The filmmakers just didn’t get anything about Godzilla right. Godzilla is a force of nature, not just a large animal. Annoying characters, no real comment on anything. What a complete disaster.
Planet of the Apes (2001)
The original is mostly great for its twist ending, but it has some good adventure, a good performance by Charlton Heston, and an interesting look at society by switching apes and man. And obviously a good remake is possible since it happened in 2011, with a fresh idea. But the 2001 version is overly convoluted and Mark Wahlberg is NEVER convincing as a scientist (see Transformers 4 or The Happening for further evidence).
The Fog (2005)
Hey, let’s remake a John Carpenter movie but this time with CG fog and the kid from Smallville. That’s probably what a coked up movie exec said. Someone should’ve waited for him to sober up before moving forward.
The Invasion (2007)
Invasion of the Body Snatchers has been made and remade. The 1978 remake was very good. So if you’re going to remake it AGAIN, you better have a good reason. And this one did not. It was flat. Dull. Nothing new to say about society. It mentions the war in Iraq a bunch but doesn’t seem to have a point. Yuck.
The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008)
The original is not only a classic but it still works today. It doesn’t matter that it’s in black and white and set in the past. It’s timeless and has something to say. The new one just changes things for the sake of being different and it makes it an overdone mess. Too much CGI, too.
Clash of the Titans (2010)
The original wasn’t GREAT but it had its charms. The remake was just garbage. Everyone involved should feel bad for working on it.
The Wolfman (2010)
Hey, no question that it had a good cast. Benicio del Toro is great. But the remake was just kinda boring. No suspense. Who knows why it happened but it’s a dud.
A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)
This franchise had tons of sequels so it was far from sacred. But if you’re going to reboot things, that just means you have a lot of movies to show you what works best and what doesn’t. And the filmmakers here seemed to ignore those lessons. It just wasn’t that scary. It was so slow and unengaging. How do you do that with a fantastic premise (a killer can kill you in your dreams)? What a waste. What was up with 2010 giving us so many bad remakes?
Conan the Barbarian (2011)
Conan would be a fine character to tell another adventure with. But the remake has a lackluster villain and it won’t surprise anyone that Jason Momoa doesn’t have the charisma of Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Total Recall (2012)
It had some okay action sequences but it just had a more simplistic plot and a lack of humor. I have little to say other than skip it.