See that action figure up above? That’s Hot Toys’ version of Paul Rudd as Ant-Man from Captain America: Civil War. I don’t know about you, but to me that looks more like Ben Affleck than Paul Rudd. Still, at least it looks cool. And you can sort of see what the sculptor was going for. Below are ten examples where the figures just do not look like the celebrity they’re supposedly based on. At all. Sometimes they may not have had the likeness rights or sometimes they just made a very bad toy. Either way, these are ten of the worst examples we remember.
McFarlane Toys’ Movie Masterpiece Corporal Hicks from Aliens
That’s a pretty cool action figure, actually. The uniform and weapon are right. But it sure as hell doesn’t look like Michael Biehn. One of the least offensive because it’s still a good figure but McFarlane’s figures can usually guarantee you a good sculpt and a good likeness. Not this time. That’s just some guy cosplaying as Cpl. Hicks and only doing an okay job at it.
Mattel’s Peter Pan from Hook
Quick, who does the above guy remind you of? If you said “Not Robin Williams” you are correct. Actually, it looks like the world’s happiest pirate. Or maybe some sort of professional dancer? There’s nothing about it that says Robin Williams and not much that makes you instantly think Peter Pan, either. Oh well!
ERTL’s Luigi from Super Mario Bros.
Okay, on the one hand, you can sort of tell it’s Luigi because the got the colors right. But that doesn’t look anything like the Luigi from the Super Mario games or the movie. No mustache. And John Leguizamo has never been bulked up to Incredible Hulk like proportions. The backwards baseball cap screams 1990s. I don’t even know what his weapon would do. A power… wrench? He looks strong enough to tighten or loosen bolts without a cannon backing him up.
Kenner’s Alan Grant and Dennis Nedry from Jurassic Park
That looks nothing like Sam Neill. In fact, while the colors are right for his shirt and his hat is fairly close, the rest is totally wrong too. Wrong build, face that looks like a generic mask and for some reason a Jurassic Park logo on his shirt. But not the logo that was in the movie. Also? No neckerchief. He’s tied with Dennis Nedry, below. That’s supposed to be Wayne Knight. You know, Newman from Seinfeld. Nope!
Trendmasters’ Major Don West from Lost in Space
I guess this is a vaguely interesting space guy type of action figure. Can you tell what actor it’s supposed to be? Would you even believe me if I told you Matt LeBlanc? He looks more like a sad dancer at a Texas honky tonk bar.
McFarlane Toys’ Rick Grimes from Walking Dead
Heh. If it weren’t for that Sheriff’s hat, I don’t think anyone could identify this as Rick Grimes. It’s based on the TV show, not the comic book. But that ain’t Andrew Lincoln. I am most amused by the befuddled expression the action figure sports. “Um, am I supposed to aim… like this?”
Hasbro’s Princess Leia from Star Wars
Let’s see. Hairdo and outfit seem correct. But I don’t recall Princess Leia sporting a face like an ape. I sure don’t recall the broad shoulders and bow-legged stance. This Leia is ready for a good old-fashioned bar brawl. There is nothing about this that reminds you of Carrie Fisher.
Hasbro’s Guile from Street Fighter: The Movie
That’s supposed to be Jean Claude Van Damme. Yeah. Well, it’s also supposed to be Guile from the Street Fighter movie and video games. It easily manages to fail at both. It looks more like Val Kilmer made himself a firefighter’s costume out of things he found lying around the house.
Tradewind Toys’ Ethan Hunt from Mission: Impossible
The psychopathic smile. The inhuman physique. The skinned face of a poor victim. I know. Everything about this shouts that it’s Ethan Hunt from the first Mission: Impossible movie, right? That’s supposed to be Tom Cruise. You know how Tom Cruise sometimes lets his jaw hang down so we can see his rows and rows of teeth? And then he dresses up like Leatherface? So yeah, basically Tradewind Toys (who?!) nailed this one.
Jazwares’ Gerry Lane from World War Z
Jazwares is an unpopular action figure company that holds onto the Mortal Kombat license by releasing figures every once in a while that seem to just warm the pegs at your local Toys R Us. Somehow they got the license to World War Z. The above guy is supposed to be Brad Pitt! Look, even if you don’t have the likeness rights, you can at least try to get the outfit and hairstyle right for the character. Or not make him look like he’s got permanent brain damage and two lazy eyes. Wow.