Why Gays is the Devil!

Due to the immense popularity of my last review of a religious tract (see D&D Kills With the Power of Satan), I decided to do another one. Now this review probably will never be near as popular, because D&D nerds are more likely to see this page and care about getting dumped on than our gay friends, but this shit is seriously as terrible, if not worse that than that other one.

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Wow, I can’t believe that this religious tract starts out with gays having a rally that wants equal rights! Maybe this one is a bit more progressive…

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…or maybe not.

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Gotta love Super Handsomo’s prayer here. Has prayer ever worked so effectively and immediately? I can’t imagine that it would be just a coincidence that a friendly gay guy wants to talk to a really handsome guy with a sweet ass mustache at a gay rally. It must be a fucking miracle!

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Taped the rally for three hours? Mmmm I’m thinking it was less for informational purposes and more for spank material. I mean seriously, who could resist that leather man there?

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It’s a strange artistic decision to show what the best land is by having a rock and a large lizard. Perhaps the plains of Jordan were known for their lizard ranches or something. Also, Doom Town sounds like the name of a bad 80s sci-fi film, like Sexy Babes in Doom Town.

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Looks like the best mistake he ever made. You see that pimp cup and that sweet medallion? Hot damn.

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And this is the right wing Christian idea of what San Francisco looks like.

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That right panel is much worse than you think it is, that kid has to shave that guy’s back hair.

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I just like the idea that Abraham was all like, “Awwww fuck” when he found out the news. He knew the score.

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This is what happens when the college girls next door have guests over.

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What’s striking about this story is that Lot is so willing to give up his daughters to be gang raped. Now that’s a great dad. In fact, later on in the Bible he bangs both of them and impregnates them. The great lessons never stop, but they fail to mention that in a lot of re-tellings of this story.

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Man, I can’t count the number of times I’ve been blinded in a lust filled mob.

Also, laughing at God isn’t usually a good idea, especially in Chick Tracts. When you laugh at God in these things, your shit is going to get messed up.

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God doesn’t play games, folks. Except for Hungry Hungry Hippos. He loves that shit.

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Other things that God condemns in Leviticus: Letting cattle graze with other kinds of cattle, wearing clothes made out of more than one fabric, those with flat noses going to an altar of God, and having sex with a woman on her period.¬† Seems like we are not following, nor making religious tracts on, a lot of these laws here…

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Dude cares, because he’s so damned disarmingly handsome.

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I think the best lesson learned here is that being gay is totally something you can just quit, like smoking or being true to yourself.

P.S. John 3:16 doesn’t say any of that about gays. That’s all Mr. Chick.

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And this is why we shouldn’t like gays, because of the events in a story which probably never actually happened where a bunch of people who have nothing to do with anyone living today were¬†jerks to some mythical beings hundreds of years ago. Yeah, that makes sense. Down with gays!

Small Print: This tract is copyright is owned solely by Jack Chick Publications. Please visit their website and buy lots of their tracts, if you enjoy them. They appear on this site for review purposes only.
  • http://ebatton84.blogspot.com/ Erica

    Anyone else find it ironic that the mustache guy telling the story looks like Freddie Mercury?

  • Vincent

    I think he looks more like a 1940s movie star.

  • http://www.televisionzombies.com Chris

    My favorite part of that Bible story is God tells Lot and his family to leave with the angels and never look back. As they leave, God just about drops a nuke and Lot’s wife turns to see what’s making all the noise. For this, God punishes her by turning her into a pillar of salt.

    What?! Ok, whatever.

  • Vincent

    Yeah, they don’t mention that here at all. I think the point was is that they weren’t supposed to look back because they weren’t supposed to miss that life or something, but everyone she knew was going to die in a crazy Armageddon like event. Why wouldn’t you look back?

  • http://www.infinitehollywood.com Newt

    Mr. Handsome looks a bit like Bill Murrary to me.

    I hate these things. Religion can be really retarded at times.

    Basically what I learned from this comic is that I can be gay all I want, so long as sometime before the Grim Reaper comes to town I ask for Jesus to forgive me. So I mean, that’s good for the gays.

  • Dalton

    Actually my favorite part of this whole thing is the quote from Romans about men “leaving the natural use of the woman”. What exactly is the natural use of the woman? Am I to understand that women are for sex only?

  • http://www.articulateddiscussion.com DrNightmare

    Does the author of those tracts really believe the crap he writes or are these free-lance things where he’ll write one of hippos fighting flying elephants if the price is right? heh

  • Vincent

    He believes.