Voyager Torture features Vincent reviewing an episode of Star Trek Voyager that he’s seen for the first time and Chris Piers creating a drawing based on that episode based solely on Vincent’s review and never having seen the show.
We’re back with Voyager Torture, my little experiment to force myself to watch every episode of Star Trek Voyager. Now that we’re on to season two I can reflect on the 16 episodes that comprised season one. And yep, it’s about as bad as I imagined, though I’m happy that there were a few episodes that were pretty decent. Still, it’s hard to believe that Star Trek could go from the greats of Star Trek: The Next Generation to this…
So what does season two have for us? Some big exciting start for this season? Uh well The 37’s starts out with an old 1930s truck floating in space. Um….
After the commercial break the crew is examining the truck when Harry Kim asks one of the dumbest questions, “Is this an early hover car?” Holy fuck, how dumb is this guy? I know it’s the future and all, but cars existed for over a century. He wouldn’t have seen pictures of them in history class? It’s not like wheeled vehicles hadn’t had a significant impact on history. It’s like asking if a chariot was a space shuttle.
Well the AM radio in the truck leads them to a distress call coming from a planet. They can’t take a shuttle to the planet or beam down because of technical babble. Since it’s too dangerous for a shuttle or using the transporter, Janeway decides that they should land the Voyager on the planet. Paris says he never landed a Starship before and neither has Janeway, but what the fuck else they going to do? Not endanger the lives of everyone on a whim? That would be really out of character for Janeway.
So they find an airplane on the planet and it hits me. I bet they found Amelia Earhart.
And I’m right… Janeway finds Earhart in a stasis chamber and reads Earhart’s name tag letter by letter in the most dramatic way possible.
Earhart and some other people from the 1930s are all asleep in some tubes. The Voyager crew debates reviving the people because they might have some answers that might help them home. Which leads to Janeway waking them up. Then of course the people from the past have to be convinced that the Voyager crew isn’t lying. This is incredibly tedious. I can’t stress this enough. Oh and it turns out these people were abducted by aliens. Anyway, Earhart’s navigator has a gun and he basically holds the crew hostage because he thinks thye’re a bunch of liars…. and I can’t believe I’m putting myself through this. I don’t have to watch this. I really don’t. Yet, here I am. Torturing my brain. Hey, at least there’s no Neelix.
The rest of the crew tries to meet up and they’re attacked by some dudes in dumb leather outfits. After Janeway corners them it turns out they’re humans. They explain that hundreds of people were abducted in the 1930s and were brought to the planet by evil aliens who enslaved them. After overthrowing the aliens, they left Earhart and the few others with her in the stasis chamber as a shrine, because they thought they were dead.
Well anyway, now they have a dilemma. Now that there’s humans living on a peaceful planet they’re worried that most of the crew will want to stay there. Oh and Neelix shows up briefly, because we can’t have a terrible episode without him! There’s more debate about staying or going. Will the crew want to stay? Or will they want to go?! Oh the agony of this dramatic decision!
It’s crazy how they managed to make an episode devoid of any entertainment value.
p.s. The Voyager leaves with the entire crew intact and the series can continue.
Least Annoying Characters:
Most Torturous Moment:
Finding Amelia Earhart in the corniest way possible.
Chris Art Accuracy:
Amazingly close to the real moment. Perfectly captures Janeway’s reading the name off bit.
Torture Score: 5 out of 5 Neelixes