Voyager Torture features Vincent reviewing an episode of Star Trek Voyager that he’s seen for the first time and Chris Piers drawing an image based on that episode that he’s never seen.
Its been a couple of weeks since I watched Star Trek Voyager. It was a nice break… but back to work. And the episode I come back to features Neelix. Argh!
The episode starts off with Paris and Kes in danger in a shuttle. Turns out that it’s a training simulation. They share a fun moment between friends and Neelix is outside acting like a silent stalker. This guy.
“You’re only two years old. There may be things you don’t know what to look for in a man,” the doctor to Kes.
Paris goes and visits Harry who is playing a clarinet. Not a huge fan of the clarinet, but it is a step above Picards stupid flute. Oh yeah, I went there. Anyway, Paris confesses to Harry that he’s totally fallen in love with Kes.
Meanwhile, Kes and Neelix are having dinner and instead of Neelix acting like a complete dick to her like usual he’s all bottling it up inside. Another wise decision by Neelix. She can tell something is wrong though, which is weird because it seems like she’s usually oblivious to his antics.
Later on Kim and Paris head down to the lunch room where there’s some question of where to sit. Kes is sitting there alone at a big table and Neelix is making food watching here. Paris opts to sit with his back to Kes at a two person table with Kim, when Kim has to go to the bridge leaving Paris to face Neelix. It’s actually kind of an amusing beat and you can really feel the awkwardness. Kes leaves and then it happens, Neelix blows up and starts yelling at Paris. The two end up throwing pasta at each other.
This sadly ends before Paris can murder Neelix and claim self defense. Instead they’re called to Janeway’s office and they’re given a mission. They have to go to this planet nicknamed “Hell Planet” to scout for food. Can these two enemies pull it together in order to complete the mission!?
They head on down and because of garbaly gunk the ship crashes. But before that moment there’s an interesting line where Neelix actually calls the techno babble that Paris is spouting techo babble. That was an interesting moment.
Anyway, they crash and have to find shelter in a cave. While in the cave they come across an egg and out hatches a super adorbs baby lizard creature. It kind of reminded me of Cera from Land Before Time. The two rivals must put aside their difference and take care of this baby.
Meanwhile in space a ship shows up, shoots at the Voyager, and takes a defensive position over the planet. Kes is dealing with her feelings of being upset
The guys figure out how to feed the baby and they figure out how to beam them back to the ship just before the baby’s mom shows up. Hurray! Neelix and Paris are friends!
While it’s nice that they finally deal with Neelix’s jealousy and are presumably moving away from that story line, the main problem is that it doesn’t work like that. You don’t become friends with the main rival for your girlfriend’s affections and then everything is cool. It completely ignores the underlying issues which are causing the insane jealousy, which mainly is the person’s own insecurities. But someone dealing with personal issues that just don’t go away over night would make for interesting drama and Voyager can’t have any of that.
Overall though, this episode was far less torturous than I thought it would be. I have to hand it to director Jonathan Frakes (aka Riker) for his steady hand on steering this one in a not terrible direction.
Least Annoying Characters:
Most Torturous Moment:
Neelix not getting killed in his fight with Paris. Or when he doesn’t die in the shuttle crash.
Chris Art Accuracy:
Kim is very accurately depicted in today’s art, however Tom’s reaction is a lot more negative than it is on the show. I imagine that in this image Harry is playing some of the happy tunes that Tom isn’t in the mood for. Or he’s playing some sort of hypnotic love song in order to bring them closer together. Sexually.
Torture Score: 2 out of 5 Neelixes