Voyager Torture: Ex Post Facto (Season 1, Episode 8)

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Voyager Torture features Vincent reviewing an episode of Star Trek Voyager that he’s seen for the first time and Chris Piers creating a drawing based solely on Vincent’s review and never having seen the show.

Tom Paris is found guilty of murder and forced to watch the murder from his victim’s eyes in his head every 14 hours. Not a bad premise for an episode directed by… LaVar Burton!

However it completely goes to shit about half way through. What happened was that while visiting this planet Tom Paris gets close to this scientist’s wife, bangably close. She’s not too bad looking, except all these people have distracting bird head hair or something… like beehive hairdos with feathers. So in the question of “would you?” I’d say no. But enough of my sexual tastes when it comes to alien species!

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Tuvok goes into detective mode to get to the truth! And the truth is that Paris was framed and the video footage was faked. The real murderer was a scientist dude that was working with some enemies of his people and the wife was banging him.

You see, Tuvok knew that the guy must have been banging her because her dog a tiny dog (that looks exactly like an Earth dog that some rich lady would carry in her purse) hated everyone, but it liked the murderer! Tuvok knew that the dog didn’t freak out at the murderer and by showing that the dog liked the doctor that was the ultimate proof that the doctor must have done it!

The most ridiculous part about this is this was the ending to the Matlock Christmas episode: The Gift. (Which guest starred Bryan Cranston of Breaking Bad fame).

Least Annoying Characters:

Tuvok
Tom Paris

Most Torturous Moment:

Thinking this was a decent episode and then realizing it was garbage.

Torture Score: 2 out of 5 Neelixes

2 of 5 Neelix


  • AprilG

    No argument here. Aren’t you surprised?