Transformers: Victory Episode 6 Recap – “Infiltration… The Uranium Mine”

Transformers: Victory is a tv show about bad guys called Decepticons that want to steal energy from Earth. They are thwarted by the Autobots every single time. The show lasts about 20 minutes. This episode, the Decepticons attack a mine but the Autobots sneak in behind them and beat them up. Uh, I guess we can deconstruct it more but this one’s realllll simple. It starts with Deathsaurus gathering his handful of troops in his throne room.

Recite the scout pledge and let's get going.

Recite the scout pledge and let’s get going.

 

I'm great at screen caps.

I’m great at screen caps.

Leozack explains the mission to the team. They’re going to steal some uranium from a mine and refine it on their spaceship. No one really squabbles about it, either. They have a plan.

No wonder he's leaving.

No wonder he’s leaving.

Meanwhile, a dude name Mr. Frank is leaving his dumpy wife and kid to head to work. Mr. Frank is a miner. He drives an army jeep and lives somewhere that has both mountains and palm trees.

This dude is intense.

This dude is intense.

As he leaves, he lets his son, Sam, know that he remembers it’s his birthday and that he’ll bring him a present. Spoiler: that never happens.

No geology lessons this week, sorry.

No geology lessons this week, sorry.

The Decepticons are already at the uranium mine! Leozack explains the Dinoforce’s job will be to transport the uranium. I’m sure they’ll fuck it up somehow. That’s kind of what they do every episode.

Ha ha ha. Physical comedy.

Ha ha ha. Physical comedy.

In fact, Kakuryu immediately screws up and steps on Goryu’s dino tail and knocks his boss off of his Pretender shell. Moving on!

Kind of a bland base.

Kind of a bland base.

The Autobots learn about the invasion right away. No time wasted on how they figure that out.

Why drive when you can run?

Why drive when you can run?

The Micromaster Rescue Team and Jean race down the hall to tell everyone about the Decepticon invasion. They do not bother to use their vehicle modes.

"Jean, get out of my face."

“Jean, get out of my face.”

They update their leader, Star Saber, that around 100 miners are trapped in the mines. Jean hovers about uselessly. Don’t worry, this is the last we see of Jean and the Rescue Team for the episode. The message delivered, they just sit on their hands somewhere.

Crotch shot!

Crotch shot!

Leozack actually contacts the Autobots somehow and tells them he has hostages. No points for stealth.

Wingwaver, stop offering your thoughts to people that don't care.

Wingwaver, stop offering your thoughts to people that don’t care.

Wingwaver, the leader of the Multiforce, wants to rush into action. This episode is all about how he’s sort of a rookie and wants respect from the more battle-hardened Brainmasters.

"Yeah, go to hell kid."

“Yeah, go to hell kid.”

Brainmaster boss (and 2nd in command) Blacker tells Wingwaver that if they rush in, they’ll just get the miners killed. The Autobots talk about how their only option would be to sneak into the mine from behind but that’s impossible because of all the rock they’d have to get through.

Oh, that was easy.

Oh, that was easy.

Laster immediately points out that it won’t be a problem because he’ll invent a drill. Oh, and it’s sonic. Take that Doctor Who.

Sad face emoticon, activate!

Sad face emoticon, activate!

Blacker takes Laster with him and grudgingly agrees to take Wingwaver so that he can learn something. I guess you have to learn somehow, but he leaves the third Brainmaster, Braver, behind. That seems dumb because now the Brainmasters don’t have the option to merge into Road Caesar if they need to.

That's not how drills work.

That’s not how drills work.

The Autobots instantly show up at the mountain and the drill fires green energy that breaks up the rock. The drill itself never touches the rock. It just shoots energy. There’s a lot of weapons shooting energy this episode. Hammers and spears and such. It’s not right.

"Uh, I gotta get home, sir. I... left the coffee pot on!"

“Uh, I gotta get home, sir. I… left the coffee pot on!”

Mr. Frank and one other dumb dumb work in some sort of control room and are the ones that put out a distress call about what’s going down. Dumb Dumb tells Mr. Frank that there’s no air down in the mines and the men will suffocate soon. Uh oh! Now things is gettin’ serious!

Go back to doing nothing.

Go back to doing nothing.

Back at the Autobot base, Braver tells the other 2 Multiforce guys to pay attention to what’s going on so that they can learn. Guess the episode had some time it needed to kill.

How old is anyone on this show, anyway?

How old is anyone on this show, anyway?

While the Autobot’s are drilling in, Wingwaver whines to Laster about how Blacker doesn’t respect him or some nonsense. Laster tells him that he should just pay attention and learn because sometimes Blacker’s battle instincts surpass even Star Saber’s. Neat.

"Now let's keep it abandoned."

“Now let’s keep it abandoned.”

The drill does half of its job, getting the Autobots into the “abandoned” section of the mine. This lets them sneak up near the Decepticons with only one wall of rock between them. This is when I miss the original Transformers. Remember how Mirage could turn invisible or Hound could create holograms? That kinda stealth is way cooler than a drill that shoots green light at the rocks.

This can only go well.

This can only go well.

Meanwhile, the Dinoforce is carrying crates of uranium ore out of the mines. As you can imagine, Kakuryu is singing and dancing so he’ll probably make like Screech and be Johnny-on-the-spot.

It didn't take much to topple him.

It didn’t take much to topple him.

Oh, what a surprise, he bumped into his boss and dumped a bunch of rocks on Goryu’s head.

Making jewelry, what do you think?

Making jewelry, what do you think?

Then he asks a question that probably would’ve made more sense back in the first scene. What will they do with all this uranium anyway?

Wait for it. Waaaait for it.

Wait for it. Waaaait for it.

The answer is really simple but doesn’t make a lot of sense. Goryu says they’ll refine it and it will create enough energy to destroy the planet. I really don’t see how it could be that much energy. Seriously? From just one mine? You’d think there would be a military presence guarding something that powerful.

My horoscope was right!

My horoscope was right!

Mr. Frank and his dumb buddy get word on their fancy radars that the Autobots have arrived. Their work is done. Time to punch out and get home to their dumpy wives.

"It's a living!"

“It’s a living!”

Oh, except there’s a last minute delay. They hit “bedrock” which the drill can’t penetrate. That’s just how green energy sonic drills work, everyone knows that.

It's the perfect plan.

It’s the perfect plan.

They try one thing where they all give the drill extra energy by just touching it and glowing green themselves. It doesn’t work at all.

Yeah, we get it. Get going.

Yeah, we get it. Get going.

Mr. Frank decides he’ll help the Autobots. This guy is the most devoted boss you could ever hope for. Connect with him on LinkedIn.

"But it's up to you."

“But it’s up to you.”

He tells the other guy to go ahead and run away. He wasn’t very useful anyway.

Peekaboo!

Peekaboo!

So Mr. Frank hops in a mine cart kind of like in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Leozack notices a cart suddenly moving for no reason and slowly walks over to check it out. Mr. Frank hides low to the ground until Leozack puts his face right up to the cart and then he hits him with a hammer. Try hitting a jet with a hammer once and see how much damage you cause it. However, Leozack acts stunned and tries shooting at the cart and misses it completely. It’s not even going that fast, it’s just rolling downhill like a roller coaster.

It's either a mouse or a human with tons of dynamite.

It’s either a mouse or a human with tons of dynamite.

Meanwhile, the Autobots think they hear something from behind a wall. Turns out it’s Mr. Frank and he knew a shortcut. That’s very convenient!

You're... useful?!

You’re… useful?!

He proves himself one of the very few humans (besides young Spike and his dad, Sparkplug) to ever be useful. He explains he’ll set some explosives on the other side of the bedrock and then the drill can break through at the same time. This guy should take Jean’s place on the Autobots.

I don't think they heard us!

I don’t think they heard us!

It works and the Autobots stomp on through the wreckage as though they’re quiet little ninjas.

Better than a horn in the butt.

Better than a horn in the butt.

But Leozack’s dudes down in the mines heard them. Killbison, Jallguar, and Drillhorn attack the three Autobots but it ain’t an even match because the Decepticons all have the ability to transform their chest plates into robot animals. Drillhorn immediately puts Laster in a full-nelson and has his Rhino try to impale him but Laster wrestles himself free.

That is a big mine.

That is a big mine.

And then he starts swinging Drillhorn around. And good lord, look at the size of that mine! That thing is cavernous! It’s implausibly big. If the Decepticons hadn’t invaded, it would’ve collapsed on all those miners.

Meanwhile, somewhere unimportant...

Meanwhile, somewhere unimportant…

The rest of the Autobots are waiting outside the mountain to help back up the stealth team. The other Multiforce rookies want to get in there but Star Saber explains that patience is a virtue or some bullshit. They finally get word that the miners have been rescued so they radio for Galaxy Shuttle to come pick them up. He’s the huge space shuttle, but he seems to be able to just hover around like a helicopter if he feels like it.

Mission accompli- what? Still 7 minutes left?

Mission accompli- what? Still 7 minutes left?

Wingwaver leads the miners outside and it seems like everything’s over but there’s still at least a third of this episode to go. Don’t expect a twist. There’s just plenty of fighting. Normally the Decepticons retreat around now. But there’s time to kill.

This is going in his diary for sure.

This is going in his diary for sure.

Blacker compliments Wingwaver on doing a good job and he just about creams his robot pants over it.

Sure guys. Chest attack.

Sure guys. Chest attack.

So now everyone just fights for the rest of the episode. Lots of chest attacks. Don’t worry ladies, this isn’t a frat party. That’s just how the Breastforce attacks the good guys.

That should work out just great.

That should work out just great.

Leozack decides to get in on this fight crap and assigns the Dinoforce to protect the uranium. So now it’s just a matter of moments until the screw that one up. Hey Leozack, how about YOU protect the uranium and send the Dinoforce to do the only thing they’re halfway good at – punching crap.

No episode is satisfying without one of these catch phrases.

No episode is satisfying without one of these catch phrases.

The rest of the Autobots attack the Dinoforce and Kakuryu shouts out “eat this” while throwing his axe. He better hope no one takes him literally or he’ll lose his axe.

I guess you're an upside down cartoon.

I guess you’re an upside down cartoon.

Goryu gets hit so hard he ends up in some sort of kiddy dream world and apparently has amnesia. That sounds like an interesting plot. But he instantly remembers who he is when Kakuryu tells him he’s the Dinoforce boss.

Out of line.

Out of line.

To thank him for correcting his mental issue, he bashes Kakuryu in the head. This guy needs both anger management and manage management classes.

I'm a sucker for a flying kick.

I’m a sucker for a flying kick.

From here we get the standard punches and kicks. I will give Transformers: Victory this – their animation is really good for a tv show. On the weird side is Goryu aiming his mace at people and firing rings of energy out of it.

Have fun in your little plane, Supreme Commander.

Have fun in your little plane, Supreme Commander.

Star Saber joins in the fray but instead of hulking up to his full robot stature he just does his middle mode and rides around on his “V-Star,” also known as the back half of his jet mode that transforms into an incredibly unaerodynamic sled.

I want to see Transformer Hell!

I want to see Transformer Hell!

Eventually he realizes that he’s wasting his time and upgrades to his full self. He faces down the now-merged Dinoking and rambles on about how he’s gonna cut him up.

Wow! Two "Eat this" phrases in one episode.

Wow! Two “Eat this” phrases in one episode.

Dinoking shuts him up with a well-timed “eat this” and so that’s nice. The only phrase that’s said more often this season is “Scrap!” All Transformers say that whenever somethings going wrong. But it isn’t as funny to screencap that.

What a waste of energy.

What a waste of energy.

There’s something quite odd about the idea of gigantic robots not using rockets and lasers and, instead, using medieval weapons like spears, clubs and swords.

That's not how spears work.

That’s not how spears work.

However, Dinoking’s spear does a strange thing where it shoots red loops that encase and trap Star Saber. That’s new.

Talky McTalkerson!

Talky McTalkerson!

He simply cuts his way through the bands with his sword and shouts some very Japanese battle phrases.

Doctor, can I play the guitar after this? Great, because I couldn't before!

Doctor, can I play the guitar after this? Great, because I couldn’t before!

Then he does a power slash move that shoots energy slices into Dinoking and makes him break apart into the six Dinoforce members. The Decepticons finally call it a day and retreat.

Deathsaurus' life is one big pile of shit.

Deathsaurus’ life is one big pile of shit.

Back at their headquarters, Deathsaurus rages impotently and has a single line: “Again?!” Well, get used to it Deathsaurus, unless you’re going to hire some more troops.

No, Sam didn't do anything.

No, Sam didn’t do anything.

Star Saber thanks Sam. Sam didn’t need to be thanked. Maybe his father did. We can only assume all humans look the same to Star Saber. He’s a hero and a bigot.

Almost didn't squeeze a sunset in. Close!

Almost didn’t squeeze a sunset in. Close!

And then the episode throws in its usual sunset and Galaxy Shuttle flies away with all the miners. That seems unnecessary. Now that the Decepticons are gone, presumably the workers can just go home and don’t live so far away that they need a space shuttle. Is Galaxy Shuttle going to drop off each one at their house? That’s gonna take a while with around 100 miners.