Transformers: Victory Episode 17 Recap – “Planet Micro – The Mysterious Warrior”

They didn't take their time.

They didn’t take their time.

This episode, the team heads to outer space. Deep outer space. Apparently they hit “Zone Two” which was referred to in the first episode this season and not since. Star Saber heads to Planet Micro with the Rescue Patrol, which is where they’re from. Supposedly these Transformers are small, but since they turn into cars and trucks that are normal size, I have no idea how the “micro” term even applies. Size is a very VERY fluid concept on Transformers. Also? The Rescue Patrol goes home in Galaxy Shuttle, who can transform into a massive robot, but he doesn’t help out or even appear AT ALL after they land. Read on to learn about girlfriend robots, Decepticon mercenaries and ninja Transformers.

Remember him? It's NotOptimus!

Remember him? It’s NotOptimus!

So why is Star Saber heading to Sector Two? Because God Ginrai is busy fighting Overlord and his Decepticon army out in some nebula or other. It’s kind of a bummer to think that the finale of last season was more or less meaningless. This implies all the Autobots and Decepticons from that season except for the Decepticon god Devil Z are still fighting back and forth, just like always. We just don’t get to see it anymore! So with God Ginrai busy, some other Decepticons are attacking Micro and that’s why Star Saber is checking it out. Hey God Ginrai, next time, leave a backup squad.

Plus, it's Homecoming Week.

Plus, it’s Homecoming Week.

The Autobots don’t seem too stressed about this mission. The Rescue Patrol are all pretty psyched to visit home. Stakeout is more serious, which Jean and the others tease him about. Why is Jean brought along into a hostile situation? Because some weeks the Autobots bring him along like it’s not a big deal. Other episodes, they insist he stays back at the headquarters to be safe. There’s no logic to any of it. This show was written by people with mental issues.

I bet she's pink.

I bet she’s pink.

The Rescue Patrol figure Stakeout is being serious because he’s nervous about visiting his girlfriend. What? He has a girlfriend? Apparently so. What are the odds she’ll be pink? Of course, like most “girlfriend” characters on a show for kids populated by characters who are essentially man-children, it’s safe to assume she’ll be bossy and mature, generally annoyed at the goofiness of her male counterparts.

Jean "Not a good friend" Minakaze.

Jean “Not a good friend” Minakaze.

Jean is at a loss for an insult.

Serious bidness.

Serious bidness.

Stakeout has a minor freakout, reminding the rest of his team that he’s ostensibly their leader. Jean has a huge grin on his face, watching his “friend” get tortured like this. What kind of sadistic relationship are these two supposed to share?

I'm kind of in the middle of something here.

I’m kind of in the middle of something here.

Upon landing, Star Saber calls God Ginrai, who has to remind Star Saber that he’s kind of in the middle of something. We briefly glimpse Overlord and both the Autobot and Decepticon Headmasters. I mean briefly, though. No dialog. But anyway, they’re all still around apparently. Fighting over who knows what.

Transformers need streetlamps?

Transformers need streetlamps?

The Autobots head out to investigate the attack sites but Star Saber surprises the Rescue Patrol by letting them hang out and catch up with their home. Tactically, I’d start to think this is a mistake until I remembered that the Rescue Patrol never really fights at all. They just put out fires and evacuate people. Really boring stuff. So Star Saber’s pretty much on his own and he’s fine with that. Jean doesn’t worry about him, despite panicking about Star Saber on a solo mission two episodes ago.

Such cool bros.

Such cool bros.

The first thing they all do is hit the gym, like robots do. Because lifting weights makes your gears stronger. Ever notice how the more you drive your car or use your computer, the better its performance? It’s just like that. Actually, only Stakeout works out. The rest of them hang out real close together, watching him. Maybe they gave Stakeout a girlfriend because the writers were afraid they’d seem a little too gay otherwise?

Elevator City!

Elevator City!

After the gym, they hit the escalators. We don’t see the top or the bottom, just tons and tons of escalators. The team seems impressed that Stakeout’s girlfriend works for the Governor of Planet Micro. How did they know he had a girlfriend but not anything else about her? Stakeout must be ashamed of his girlfriend. Maybe she transforms into a dump truck?

High Maintenance.

High Maintenance.

But no, there she is. Her name is Clipper and she passes Stakeout going the other way. He runs up the stairs to try to keep pace with her, asking why she hadn’t met up with him yet. She tells him she was working and meeting at the gym isn’t “cool.” And yeah, she has a valid point there, but at the same time, your boyfriend is essentially on tour in a life and death war. He didn’t know he’d be visiting home, so maybe you should cut the guy a little slack and take advantage of a visit before he has to leave just as suddenly! I don’t want to throw around the “b” word to describe Clipper, but she sure doesn’t seem to have a great personality. She was created for the show. She never had a toy. No one cares.

A poor use of being a car.

A poor use of being a car.

Stakeout tries to catch up by transforming into a police car and driving up the steps. It doesn’t work very well and she totally snubs him and walks away. But at least Stakeout looked desperate so he’s got that going for him.

Look at my package!

Look at my package!

Meanwhile, Star Saber is flying around to visit the sites that have been attacked. He brings along the Governor, Riker. Riker explains that they’ve attacked some energy production sites but there seems to be no pattern. They have no real description for what the attackers looked like but somehow know that there are three: an energy expert and two goons that smash everything up. Star Saber has learned almost nothing but acts really grateful to Riker. Riker has a little metal mustache so he’s kind of cool.

Obviously.

Obviously.

Meanwhile, the same three Decepticons attack another power installation, a plasma energy plant that supplies power to 1/3 of the planet! The team is led by Hellbat and he has two new Decepticons as his backup – Black Shadow (cool name) and Blue Bacchus (embarassing fail). They are basically mercenaries working for hire. The show never explains their gimmick but I remember their toys. They were called Crossformers and were basically Pretenders. Essentially, a large part of their vehicle transformed into a big robot, but there was also a component of the vehicle that detached and transformed into a smaller robot. They never show this happen, but when they transform, you can see that a chunk of the vehicle just flies off the screen and disappears. It’s pretty weird.

Accurate.

Accurate.

Blue Bacchus and Black Shadow blast the place up and send Autobot Micromasters running. Don’t know why the hundreds of Autobots don’t fight back against two large Decepticons. Don’t really care either. I’m still hung up on the fact that the helicopter guy calls himself Blue Bacchus. He also has a head the size of half his body. He’s one weird dude.

The Hellbat of Wall Street.

The Hellbat of Wall Street.

Hellbat explains to literally no one that he’s stealing energy to look good to his leader, Deathsaurus. I guess the show figured we’d accept two new characters out of nowhere, but we’d be confused as to why a bad guy is stealing energy.

He's drinking tea. Tea.

He’s drinking tea. Tea.

While this is going on, the Autobots are all drinking tea. They literally have a tea kettle heat up and pour themselves some tea in some huge travel mugs. Classy. Clipper compliments Star Saber for being such a great leader and he blushes. How embarrassing. The leader of the Autobots is a virgin. He stammers out a mild compliment in return.

Where's the abuse hotline number?

Where’s the abuse hotline number?

Stakeout does not like being emasculated by his lady in front of his friends. So he deals with it like no one with half a brain would – he yells at Clipper. Smooth work, Stakeout.

These are not friends.

These are not friends.

Jean finds this hilarious and mocks Stakeout. All this while he sits on their dining table. Sorry we can’t all be that cool, Jean.

Good call!

Good call!

Someone finally remembers to call Star Saber and he leaps into action. He assigns the Rescue Patrol the job of rescuing. That must be why he’s the leader. He saves the cool job of fighting Decepticons for himself. Clipper gets no job. Neither does Jean.

I'm New Toy!

I’m New Toy!

Once they’re outside, they bump into a new Transformer. The Rescue Patrol doesn’t recognize the huge dude but Star Saber seems to. He introduces himself as Greatshot. While he doesn’t explain further, if you’ve watched the last two seasons, you can probably recognize Greatshot as very, very similar to Sixshot and Sixknight. Like them, he ends up being a six-changing “ninja” although no one really makes a big deal out of it this time. Sixshot was originally a Decepticon who ultimately had honor and helped the Autobots. Sixknight was a wandering fighter looking for the best challenge but was convinced that the Autobots were noble and joined up with them. Sixshot barely survived but Sixknight was killed. Doesn’t make things look good for Greatshot, who starts off as an Autobot right away but acts like a total dick.

Don't be a dick about it.

Don’t be a dick about it.

In fact, he tells the other Autobots not to intervene and that he’ll check it out himself. What is his job and who gave him that authority? Apparently no one, so Star Saber pretty much ignores him and they both fly to the plasma generator together. Greatshot also explained that he’s battled the two Decepticons before and he has a score to settle with them.

Not much of a plan.

Not much of a plan.

Upon arriving at the attack site, Star Saber and Greatshot immediately go their separate ways. Star Saber heads to find the “energy expert” while Greatshot battles both Decepticons. Galaxy Shuttle is never even considered to be brought in to quickly end a battle. That would make too much sense and end the episode too soon.

Ghost ride the whip, Seawatch.

Ghost ride the whip, Seawatch.

The Rescue Patrol hurry off to help. This is great because first of all, Seawatch is totally useless as a boat and has to right on Red Hot just to show up. Stakeout’s rallying cry to his team? “Hurry or the damage will increase.” No shit.

Shoot him!

Shoot him!

Star Saber spots Hellbat. Instead of shooting him, he angrily demands to know whether this was Hellbat’s plan or if he’s working for Deathsaurus. Hellbat doesn’t answer and Star Saber probably realizes it doesn’t matter because he doesn’t ask again.

Separated from Hordak at birth?

Separated from Hordak at birth?

Star Saber transforms and draws his guns but Hellbat points out that if he fires, he’ll blow up the plant. Then Star Saber imagines one third of the planet blowing up. He decides to put his guns away. Actually, they just disappear. Transformers can do that kind of stuff.

Cool chest tattoo.

Cool chest tattoo.

Meanwhile, Greatshot is punching and zapping Blue Bacchus and Black Shadow. They hint that all three of them used to work together. Who knows how that all worked. Did the Decepticons originally work for the Autobots? Was Greatshot originally a Decepticon? Who changed sides? Or was it something else? That’s far too interesting a story to tell so they don’t address it at all and never will. Hellbat tells the two to attack Star Saber but they haggle over their salary and get Hellbat to triple it. Not bad.

Unlike every other fight.

Unlike every other fight.

While the Rescue Patrol help Autobots basically walk away from fires, Jean comments that Star Saber must be having a tough battle. That’s Jean’s contribution to the episode. Good thing he was brought along!

You're also not a good gun.

You’re also not a good gun.

Greatshot transforms into all of his forms really quickly. He eventually turns into a crappy looking gun and tells the Decepticons that he isn’t a hero. I guess Greatshot is the Wolverine/loner type Autobot. That could be interesting. I bet they give him an official job real soon.

Yeah, drop that beat!

Yeah, drop that beat!

Hellbat uses his hypnotism power on Star Saber which once almost killed him off. This time, Star Saber just raises his sword in front of him and the hypnosis waves are reflected. This really struck me as the writers realizing they’d written themselves into a corner and inventing a new rule to just quickly get out of it. I can’t think of any reason why a sword should be able to reflect a hypnosis wave but now it does. So much for that advantage.

I'll let you go if you can guess what animal I am.

I’ll let you go if you can guess what animal I am.

At one point, Greatshot transforms into some sort of animal and beats the Decepticons up. I cannot figure out what kind of an animal he’s supposed to be. He’s got a tiger or lion type of body, a rhino horn, and wings over his shoulders. Dude is a Wuzzle.

Ninjitsu: the art of yelling.

Ninjitsu: the art of yelling.

The Decepticons actually turn the tide of battle and shoot Greatshot, blowing him up. But then he just appears behind them and shouts about being a ninja while beating them up. The Decepticons can’t win no matter what. The Autobots just invent new rules and new powers.

He's trying to blow you up, buddy.

He’s trying to blow you up, buddy.

Hellbat realizes he’s screwed and starts shooting the plasma plant, starting fires and making it unstable. Star Saber freaks out, confused as to what he’s doing even though it seems painfully obvious.

He spends hours naming his moves.

He spends hours naming his moves.

Greatshot slices the Decepticons across the chest and they blow up. He also makes sure to shout out the name of his move.

I wish you luck, Hellbat.

I wish you luck, Hellbat.

Hellbat flees while Star Saber is distracted by the power plant which is about to explode. Hellbat’s really proud of himself. Two energy blobs catch up with him and turn into little vehicle versions of Blue Bacchus and Black Shadow, so I guess that’s the smaller version of them that I mentioned the Crossformer toys had. But they don’t explain it at all. Greatshot shoots up in the sky and the energy Hellbat was taking back blows up. The mercenaries tell Hellbat they expect him to still pay. That’d be cool if it ended right there but instead Hellbat says their payment just blew up. Talk about deflating any tension.

Get lost, you've sold your toy.

Get lost, you’ve sold your toy.

Jean had been using Star Saber’s V-Star component to rescue folks, apparently, and shows up with it just then. So Star Saber tells Greatshot to leave and that he’ll handle this. He merges and transforms into his larger robot form. Nice to be able to power up to unbeatable whenever necessary.

Not how a sword works.

Not how a sword works.

With a quick sword swipe, Star Saber cleaves the entire massive power plant across its base. Are you worried he’ll fail? I mean, dude is basically perfect.

He's Superman!

He’s Superman!

Then he picks the entire thing up and acts like it’s heavy. But it’s like Superman acting like something’s heavy. Of course he’ll be able to lift it. And he does. He flies it into orbit where it explodes. Oh no! Did it blow up Star Saber?

Big surprises! Shocking twists!

Big surprises! Shocking twists!

No. He comes back without so much as a scratch on him. Everyone cheers wildly, even though Star Saber’s basically never ever been in trouble.

Peace out, we don't need you.

Peace out, we don’t need you.

Suddenly it becomes daytime and Greatshot and Star Saber shake hands. They say they respect each other and then Greatshot tranforms and flies away, leaving everyone. Jean comments that he would have been helpful to have around. Star Saber somehow does not roll his eyes and tell him, “Durrr!”

Today's weather calls for extra sun.

Today’s weather calls for extra sun.

As Greatshot flies away, Star Saber explains that Greatshot doesn’t like to be held down by formalities. Vague.

Assholes: The Show.

Assholes: The Show.

Then Clipper shows up and asks when Stakeout will visit her again. He says he doesn’t know and Clipper says next time he has to tell her everything about Earth. Then Jean teases him about his relationship, Stakeout loses his cool and everyone laughs at him.