Episode 9 is titled “A Fierce Battle!! The Autobots are in Trouble” but it’s less about a battle and more about eating. There’s also a subplot about hydroelectric power that’s pretty much dropped and forgotten about. But first, we begin with the Decepticons talking about moving out of their old base into a better one.
Blood asks a reasonable question. If the episode begins talking about hall mirrors and curtain patterns, don’t be surprised.
Fortunately, they don’t discuss redecorating! Instead, Lord Giga says they’ll blow the whole thing up. His… wife? Sister? Neighbor? Mega says don’t destroy it, she’ll use it as a high tech science lab. Giga is just like, “Sure. Whatever.” This is how the 1% lives.
On the Autobot side, Cab tells Shuta and Minerva that he’s tired because he’s had detention. I don’t know how detention worked for any of you, but for me it was maybe an hour of doing nothing or at most, just being allowed to do homework. It wasn’t “tiring” at all. I’m seeing signs of abuse. You all with me?
Shuta and Minerva are, of course, curious why Cab had detention. Fortunately for them, his bird tattles on him revealing that he got a ZERO on a test. A zero. You have to TRY to fail that badly.
Oh, and here’s the teacher that gave him detention. Yup, he’s totally a pedophile. But he acts all sad that Cab mistreats him by doing badly. He whines that he’s even been kind enough to bring him his mail. He also hilariously steps on Cab’s armadillo and falls on his face. Enough of this nonsense, please.
Back in Cab’s tree fort/house, he reads the letter and explains that his home, the Karin Islands, have allowed a hydroelectric power station to be built there. Shuta acts like an insensitive dick by blithering on about how Cab’s people will finally be civilized. Cab does not appreciate that. This episode is all about humiliating Cab, apparently.
Cab’s embarrassment is temporarily shelved when Hawk calls an Autobot meeting about the new Decepticon Godmasters. It is interesting how much more serialized the Japanese episodes of Transformers are compared to the American ones.
To figure out the mystery of the Godmasters, the Autobots watch footage of their battle from the last episode. Mostly this involves the exact same shots that we saw last time. Who recorded this? Who edited it? It probably wasn’t Lander because the footage they keep rewatching is Lander getting his ass handed to him.
Hawk stops the footage and does that CSI rewind/enhance thing which I can believe on a show about sentient robots a lot more than a cop with an old copy of Photoshop. The bit of footage in question shows that the Godmasters instantly healed from whatever injury they took on in battle.
So the Transformers jump to the correct conclusion that the Godmasters are new lifeform. Though I am curious if this new development means that the other Transformers don’t heal? I always assumed they did from the amount of damage they constantly took in battles, but maybe not.
While everyone else sits in awe at the power of the Godmasters, Cab leaps to his feet to basically say, “So what?” Shuta and Minerva sit in stunned silence, but Hawk chastises Cab for not taking this seriously. Cab is thoroughly humiliated.
Later, Minerva is hosting a tea party but Cab just forlornly stares out the window. Shuta tells him to stop moping and join them for some tea.
Cab mopey mopes his way over and Minerva dresses him down and even says he isn’t a real man.
That’s enough to break Cab out of his funk. To prove how manly he is, he begins wolfing down tea cakes and pours tea from the kettle down his throat, burning himself. So the hits just keep on coming for this dumb dumb.
Meanwhile, the Decepticons are setting up shop at the Pretenders base and Dauros worries whether Mega will like it enough. Gilmer points out that if she didn’t like it, she’d be losing it. This is the kid-friendly version of a PMS joke I guess? It’s awkward.
Lady Mega asks Gilmer to be a “sand bag” so that her new favorite, Cancer, can show off his Super Dragon Fist technique. Any guess what kind of martial arts move the Super Dragon Fist is? You’ll never guess correctly. Here’s why:
Because it’s a kick, not a punch. So let’s not let Cancer name anything or there will be a team of Decepticons with names like “Weak Bones” and “Lazy Eye.”
Lord Giga reiterates his plan to throw the spiritual energy of Earth out of balance and conquer the planet for the Decepticons. He turns things over to Mega who says she wants to take over Asia first. And in a coincidence of landmark proportions, she decides to destroy the power plant on the tiny Karin Islands first. If the Decepticons are so eager to attack this little island again, why not give the Destroid plan a second chance? Oh well, let’s see where this goes.
The Godmasters say that they’ll take on this mission themselves. When the Pretenders protest that they want in on this plan, Hydra points out that they haven’t won a single battle. It’s a very fair point.
Giga has a strange way of leading because he basically sides 100% with the Godmasters saying that they’re way more powerful so the Pretenders should just sit around and wait until they can think of something smaller for them to do. What a douche.
He continues by pointing out that the Godmasters have mastered the three spiritual energies of the heavens, man, and earth which gives them Chokon Power. Then the Godmasters go and attack the Karin Islands. The Pretenders are offended at being ranked so low in Giga’s estimation so they also go to the Karin Islands and attack an oil refinery. The Autobots hear about the attack on the news and go there to battle. That’s when things get weird.
Buster uses his Chokon power to hold back Diver, Lander and Phoenix. He tells them to “Eat this!”
Meanwhile, Metalhawk and the Headmaster Jrs easily stop the Decepticon Pretenders. GoShooter tells them to “Eat this!”
Finally, Metalhawk goes back to help against the Godmasters while the Headmaster Jrs focus on saving people. Metalhawk distracts Buster so that Diver can stick his ax in his arm. Diver yells “Eat this!” Sense a pattern? Buster’s arm can’t heal until Hydra pulls the ax from his arm but his brother is shaken and they decide to retreat.
The Autobots congratulate themselves on doing such a fantastic job.
Then, back at base, Shuta whines about how they should have some Godmasters, too. Hawk has no answer for this and pretty much just lets his jaw drop as though it’s the first time he’s heard of this concept. And that’s the finale!