Transformers: Super-God Masterforce Episode 35 Recap – “Crisis! The Day of the Downfall of Humanity”

This goofy show. The fact is the U.S. Transformers show was absolutely just as guilty of being a silly cartoon show designed to push toys. But the Japanese continuation amuses me because of its focus on weird dialog and tonal shifts from extra cartoony facial expressions to extremely violent imagery that the U.S. show never had. Also, their titles are either super accurate or bizarre poetry that has almost nothing to do with the actual episode. For instance, do you think humanity actually has a downfall this episode? That’s pretty extreme, even for a show that once blew up Mars. The episode begins with a bunch of robots we’ve never seen before building a huge cannon thing in outer space.

Who are these guys?

Who are these guys?

So that's THIS Earth, right?

So that’s THIS Earth, right?

After that we cut to the Decepticon base where the energy blob/Decepticon “god” Devil Z is telling his field commanders Lord Giga and Lady Mega that they will use their new weapon to wipe out all of humanity. It’s a pretty big plan and a massive weapon but this is the first they’ve mentioned it. It seems to come out of nowhere for something so potentially huge.

They chose a bad week to try to have a kid.

They chose a bad week to try to have a kid.

And Devil Z isn’t fooling around – he tells them their plan calls for killing every human being and that he will not leave a single infant alive. This gives even Lord Giga pause to make sure he heard right. But yeah, he did. And he decides he’s cool with that. Sorry Mega, no kids in your future.

Listen to the blob of goop.

Listen to the blob of goop.

Devil Z laughs and talks about how they’ll build a new kingdom on Earth. Why does he want to kill humans so badly? They could always live on another planet. In the past the Decepticons didn’t care about humans but they saw us like pests. They just wanted Earth’s natural resources. Now this dude wants to kill everyone. But why?!

And they feel magnificent.

And they feel magnificent.

Grand Maximus is flying around, looking for Decepticon activity. So he sees on his monitors when Giga and Mega form Overlord and fly into outer space with Hydra and Buster. They’re trying to be invisible but his sensors are so amazing, he can see them. So their invisibility power, never before seen, kinda sucks.

Not now, I'm driving.

Not now, I’m driving.

Grand puts in a phone call to Autobot leader Ginrai who’s driving his truck around. He hasn’t “taken the pledge” so he takes the call while he’s driving and gets the update on Overlord flying into space. Since they agree that they’ve looked EVERYWHERE ON EARTH for Decepticons, they decide to head into space, too, to see what the Decepticons are up to.

High five!

High five!

The Headmaster Jrs tell Ginrai that they were listening in on his call and want to go into space, too. Ginrai doesn’t seem to mind that his soldiers are listening in on his communications and tells them to get ready: the Autobots are going to space. The kids freak out like they’re going to Disneyworld.

These villains are harmless.

These villains are harmless.

And they’re not the only ones to treat the Autobot/Decepticon war like their own private vacation. The Decepticon Headmaster Jrs are also going to space, as passengers inside Overlord. They float around in zero gravity, cheering and playing around. Your scarrrrry villains, everyone.

Need to know. And you don't need to know.

Need to know. And you don’t need to know.

Overlord tells them to be ready for battle but won’t tell them specifically what the Decepticon plan is because they don’t want them to have any doubts about following orders. They are human after all, so they may object to their planet being destroyed. As the Tick once said, that’s where they keep all their stuff.

So... up?

So… up?

Grand Maximus also readies for space. He talks to himself about how his course heading is… space. Not the moon, not orbit. Just… outer space in general.

It's kind of the Death Star.

It’s kind of the Death Star.

Overlord is flying in the Mega jet and Giga Tank mode, but connected. It looks like a jet was glued to the front of a tank but somehow it flies. Hydra and Buster have formed Darkwings, a big fat jet. The two unlikely aircraft pass the moon and see BlackZarak hanging out by the big weapon that’s being built. Hydra asks what it is. It looks like a hastily whipped together design of a cannon with red parts and two dishes or parachutes on its backside.

Available with Scorponok toy!

Available with Scorponok toy!

Overlord explains that it’s their new weapon and it’s being built by the Guardminders. Who are they? We’ve never seen them before but they looked familiar to me. After a while, I figured out why. They are based on the Decepticon called Fasttrack. He was a little robot/tank that came with the Scorponok toy. So here, he is a type of drone protecting BlackZarak, the repainted Scorponok. It makes more sense than most things on this show.

Like a matchbook from wherever the Decepticons were hanging out?

He’s talking about the board game Clue, his favorite.

Ginrai transforms into God Ginrai and flies up into space and tells himself that he hopes he can find a clue. What sort of clue is he hoping to find? A matchbook from the bar that the Decepticons are hanging out in?

I'd rather EAT THIS!

I’d rather EAT THIS!

Well, he instantly gets his wish. Overlord pops up and tells him to swallow his Bolt Masher, firing missiles and lasers. They begin fighting in space. Ginrai tells Grand Maximus to go destroy the Decepticon weapon while he deals with Overlord. It’s a pretty good plan!

Why not just call it a Death Machine?

Why not just call it a Death Machine?

The Guardminders split into one army that harasses Grand Maximus (and the Headmasters, who stand on him shooting into space) and a unit that guards the weapon. They call the weapon the Death Para-Machine. That “Para” seems awfully superfluous guys.

He should have more than 4.

He should have more than 4.

The Autobot Godmasters also came along for the ride and strap on some jetpacks that Grand Maximus has. They only need 3 of the 4 available. They specifically mention the quantity so that’s probably important. The Godmasters blow up plenty of flying Guardminders but can’t get close to the Death Para-Machine (ugh) because the other guys transform into tanks and fill the area above them with laser fire.

Focus on staying alive first.

Focus on staying alive first.

Shuta whines about not being able to fly in space like the Godmasters. Then they simply shoot and blow up Guardminders from where they are. So he isn’t looking for the flight pack to fight better. He just wants to have fun. Jerk.

If you say so.

If you say so.

The Decepticon Headmaster Jrs are similarly useless, just standing around on BlackZarak. They talk about how intense the space battle is while standing around, metaphorically sucking their thumbs.

Bullhorn can't suck his thumb. He wears a face mask.

Bullhorn can’t suck his thumb. He wears a face mask.

Wilder demands they stop sucking those thumbs and tells them to enter the battle. Hmmm…

Oh, these Decepticons can't fly. Weird!

Oh, these Decepticons can’t fly. Weird!

As soon as he takes a step he floats away and grabs at BlackZarak desparately before floating into nowhere. Cancer points out that you need to have a jet pack in outer space. Wilder asks why he didn’t tell him that sooner. What an idiot. By the way, Wilder transforms into a monster with wings. I know wings wouldn’t actually work in the vacuum of space, but this is a show where we still hear all the laser blasts so they play pretty loose with what outer space is like.

Crystal blue persuasion.

Crystal blue persuasion.

Devil Z orders BlackZarak to test the weapon. There is a countdown and it blasts twin pink beams at the planet causing a huge explosion. Grand Maximus figures out that the weapon is designed to destroy the planet’s stratosphere. Why not a weapon that’s simply a laser that hits the planet? Because this show is adding a last-minute commentary on an important 1988 issue: the ozone layer!

Club them seals.

Club them seals.

The devastation is immediate. The planet heats up and arctic ice melts and crashes. Seals die instantly. Oh, by the way, that’s not how the ozone layer works. It protects the planet from radiation, which is important, but not the heat of the sun.

And it's all your fault, Beth. You and your hairspray!

And it’s all your fault, Beth. You and your hairspray!

Just to confirm Grand Maximus’ suspicions and the visual evidence we’ve already seen, some random scientists spell it out for us. Thanks, show.

An ingenious plan!

An ingenious plan!

Lightfoot and the other two Godmasters are still worthlessly flying around the Death Para-Machine (ughhhh) and can’t get close to it because of the Guardminders. Then, in a strategic plan worthy of Ender’s Game itself (or at least what the trailer show, I haven’t read the book), Lightfoot decides to attack from “below.” Of course, in zero gravity there really isn’t an up or down. So it boils down to the Guardminders simply deciding not to defend one part of the weapon.

3 MCs and 1 DJ.

3 MCs and 1 DJ.

The Godmasters use their Chokon power to fire a big blast at the Death Para-Machine (it burns!!!) but it’s not enough to do any real damage. The magical Chokon power is a weird addition to Transformers but at least they say that only Godmasters can really do it and that’s what makes them special. It’s better than last season when the Headmasters would sometimes just hold hands and it would fire energy because of reasons.

Yeah, why not?

Yeah, why not?

Devil Z orders BlackZarak to fire it at 200% power. Sounds like the kind of thing that would just break it but what do I know? God Ginrai declares to himself that he will destroy it.

Denied.

Denied.

The countdown goes down from 10 to about 3 when all of a sudden Overlord blocks God Ginrai’s path to the Death Para-Machine (nooooo!!!) and at this point the countdown just sort of pauses while they fight a bunch.

Good job, kid, now don't get cocky.

Good job, kid, now don’t get cocky.

Eventually God Ginrai uses his own Chokon power to glow/look like he’s on fire. He flies right into the cannon as it begins to fire and blasts through the back of it. That’s right, God Ginrai is strong enough to fly through a blast that can wipe out the planet’s ozone layer. He compliments himself on doing that.

You're just making that up.

You’re just making that up.

As the Death Para-Machine (nope nope nope) blows up, it fires an errant blast that hits Grand Maximus. Grand spouts some very unconvincing technobabble and falls into the Earth’s atmosphere. They begin to burn up as the friction of the atmosphere affects Grand and the Headmaster Jrs who are still outside, clinging to him.

My only friend...

My only friend…

Shuta thinks fast and grabs the last jet pack (remember that?). He flies down a bit and fiddles with some wires on Grand Maximus. Yes, the heat does not melt these wires and Shuta knows where to find the two wires that turn the fortress back on even though he’s the size of a battle station. He connects two wires like he’s hotwiring a car and Grand Maximus is able to engage reverse thrusters and stop. But Shuta continues to fall and his jet pack explodes. He wonders if this is his end. And it is. The end.

No traditional sunset?

No traditional sunset?

No, of course that doesn’t happen. God Ginrai flies in and catches Shuta and breaks his fall before he can burn up. Then he declares to the Autobots that the ozone layer will eventually return to normal. Huh. I thought there would be a stronger moral there about needing to take care of it. But no, it’ll fix itself. So that’s that.