The mini-arc of finding the remaining Godmasters continues in episode 17, “An Enemy? The Third Godmaster, Ranger.” There are 7 Godmasters to be found on Earth and the Decepticons have 3 while the Autobots have 2 but also have 2 more sets of bracelets. The episode kicks off with Lord Giga chastising his Decepticons on letting three Godmasters go to the Autobots. Why three? Because the episode screws up and says three when they mean two. Quality.
Sometimes I wonder how Blood can fly with those tiny little wings. More goofballery after the jump!
Apparently Lord Giga yelling at the troops isn’t enough. The floating ball of energy at Decepticon headquarters also yells at them for failing to recruit any new Godmasters. The Decepticons are nailing that delicate scream-at-each-other sweet spot.
Lady Mega names the entity for the first time on the show. Apparently the Decepticon God, from which the 7 Godmasters split off when he originally came to Earth is named Devil Z. It’s a decent enough name but what does the Z indicate? Where there 25 devils before him? Or at least a bunch of people that claimed his twitter handle or gamertag and he was forced to add something to the end of his name to make it unique? Could the Decepticons have just as easily been following a leader named Devilx666xIxAMxTHExBEAST?
So where should the Decepticons even start looking for the next Godmaster since it could be anywhere? Devil Z says that Hydra and Buster’s Transtectors, which are the inert robot forms the Godmasters take when they reach Earth, might remember where the next one is. This implies that the Transtectors do have some form of life within them, which makes sense. They just don’t seem to be conscious. I’d write about it further, but I’ve probably already given it more thought than the show’s writers.
The Autobots are all having a similar meeting over at Diver’s Ocean Research Institute in California. The Autobots mention how they have 2 pairs of Master-braces but there should be 3 more Godmasters. This probably isn’t a mistake, because they don’t know about Giga and Mega and how they apparently share one as-yet-unseen Godmaster. The Godmasters and Pretenders all get couches, but the Headmaster Jrs are forced to stand. There’s a hierarchy in place. No chairs until you are an adult. What’s Diver doing with his hands?
The Autobots have a great idea: they should look for the owners of the bracelets. Well, with a plan like that, no wonder they’re on top. To be fair, it is a slightly better plan than when Hawk said the Headmaster Jrs could take a vacation last week after we had to sit through a third of the episode with them having a swim meet at school. I guess they took it?
Ginrai says that Lightfoot has an idea of where they could start their search. Great. He suggest the Rocky Mountains. This suggestion completely floors the rest of the team. They were expecting to have to search somewhere on the planet but they are simply stunned when an actual location is suggested. Lightfoot has his reasons. He explains that his Transtector was built by his father from a mysterious ore that was found in the Rocky Mountains. Therefore, maybe more Godmasters fell there. Logic be damned, the Autobots are stunned.
The Autobots all decide to use the only suggestion put forward with the exceptions of Diver and Phoenix. Diver says he can’t go because he has “ocean research” to do. A bit vague, but it beats Phoenix’ excuse who pipes in, “Yeah, I have work to do, too.” Who the hell is Phoenix? He just appears sometimes and wears a flight suit and has Wolverine’s hair but we have zero idea what he does or what his personality is like. What a non-character.
Once it’s decided that the team will go to the Rocky Mountains, Shuta and Cab begin celebrating because they will get to go camping. Idiots, you have a mission. Minerva stands there doing nothing but letting her jaw hang open, which actually makes her appear to be the brightest of the three.
Meanwhile, the Decepticons have hooked Hydra and Buster’s jet Transtectors up to their computer (which looks like a hunk of rock with a monitor screen). It also aims them at The Rocky Mountains and the Decepticons send their Headmaster Jrs to investigate. You’d think they’d want to send everyone but this is only a crucial mission, so they send their three dopey teenagers to take care of things. What the hell do Giga and Mega do while everyone else is out on these missions? Give each other pedicures? Get out there and get something done!
Cut to the Rockies, where the Pretenders and Godmasters are setting up camp. Cab is excited to go catch a big fish, a king salmon, for dinner. Minerva asks why he thinks he could prepare them a dinner, completely forgetting that he’s already done that in at least two previous episodes. She has a mind like a broken mouse trap.
She then, for no discernible reason, claims all Cab will catch is a little fish. It’s pretty obvious she’s trying to insinuate that he has a tiny dick. Cab just sort of stands their dumbly then wanders off to go fishing. Way to go, Cab. You didn’t escalate things!
If you thought the Decepticons were going to be any more focused on their mission than the Autobots, you are wrong. The show again undercuts and stakes by having the trio decide to hunt and have a barbecue. Priorities.
Lightfoot takes Ginrai, Hawk and Lander to the mine where his father found the ore. Lightfoot’s father’s story is really weird. He was a Brit that went to the Rocky Mountains, found an ore from outer space and decided to take it up to Canada and shape it into a sports car. Lightfoot’s dad must have been the kind of guy that was always on the road and would bring Lightfoot back a Mogwai without the rulebook.
As the group prepares to head into the cave, a friendly ranger tells them that it’s dangerous and only those that don’t value their lives would be foolish enough to go in there.
And the Autobots just decide to go in anyway. I love that they don’t decide to wait or come up with an excuse. They’re just like, “Yeah, whatever dude.” The ranger just sort of accepts it.
Which kind of makes him a piss poor ranger, doesn’t it? He warned them but then just let them go ahead to what he perceives to be their likely deaths.
Later, Minerva is gathering mushrooms and berries (likely poisonous knowing how bright our heroes are) and she sees a cabin. Her first instinct? Maybe she’ll just head inside and check it out. But before she gets too close, she sees the ranger from the last scene talking to Bullhorn, the Decepticon. She assumes they are working together and heads back to the Autobot camp. It’s kind of a big assumption. What, did she think the Decepticons sent a guy out here years ago to get a job as a forest ranger and build a large log cabin just in case the Autobots ever decided to visit the area? Or would it be more reasonable to assume they either don’t know each other or the guy is even a potential hostage? Oh Minerva…
While the Autobots investigate abandoned mines and the Decepticons prepare a barbecue, Shuta and Cab go fishing. Shuta’s line hits something and Cab goes into overdrive excitement telling Shuta to pull harder as Shuta pulls hard on his shaft. Well he does! Eventually, he pulls up an old log. Wah wah!
The ranger goes fishing nearby and instantly catches a large fish. Cab compliments him and the ranger says it’s actually on the small side. What a dick.
He introduces himself. The ranger’s name is… Ranger. Wow. I can’t wait until the Autobots meet Firefighter, Accountant and Dishwasher. Ranger gives Cab some of his special bait and Cab instantly catches a large king salmon. I think I want to try some of this delicious bait!
Back at camp, the Autobots chow down on the fish and compliment Minverva on doing a good job preparing it. This pisses Cab off and shows us that he is an unrepentant misogynist.
A storm whips up and the group has a hard time keeping their tent up. Cab and Shuta remember that Ranger told them about his nearby cabin and that they could stop by if they wanted to. The team decides this is the best option while Minerva hems and haws, but follows along without actually voicing her concerns. Hawk braves the weather in his usual business suit because a leader must always look snappy.
Ranger welcomes everyone into his home and while he and the other Autobots get to know one another, Minerva finally tells Cab and Shuta that she saw Ranger talking to Bullhorn. They promptly do nothing with this information.
Lander compliments a series of paintings on Ranger’s wall. Ranger did them himself. They’re all of the same mountain and he says it’s always on his mind. Ginrai finally realizes that’s similar to Lightfoot’s story and they ask him whether he ever encountered anything strange on the mountain. He tells them no and Ginrai basically shrugs and gives up. Then Ranger tells them the weird thing that happened on the mountain after all.
One time he came across a lump of ore that he thought seemed strange so he tapped it with his gun. Nothing happened. Ranger was right. Nothing interesting happened to him.
Ranger then reveals that he did lug the ore down to his barn, so the Autobots go to check it out. Once they get close, Ginrai and Lightfoot’s bracelets light up, indicating they have indeed found another Godmaster.
Ranger is pretty surprised by the glowing bracelets. I mean, technology like that is otherworldly! Lightfoot says that Ranger is just like them, an Autobot Godmaster, to which Ranger asks:
Yeah, he hasn’t heard of Transformers, but at least he has the excuse of living out in the wilderness. When he asks if they’re a circus group, I thought to myself, “Yeah, that’s not a bad guess.” The Autobots each make the stupidest faces they possibly can.
The Autobots explain to Ranger about Autobots and Decepticons but are interrupted when Wilder tears through the barn and grabs the Transtector lump. The other Decepticons blast away at the log cabin. Ranger’s life is ruined. That’s apparently what happens to all the folks who decide to become Autobots. Shuta loses his father, Cab leaves his homeland, Minerva leaves her parents, Ginrai loses his career, Lightfoot joins up for the hell of it. Oh.
The Autobot Godmasters and Pretenders chase down the Decepticon Headmasters and order the Autobot Headmasters to stay behind. I get leaving Cab behind. He’s got a firetruck. He can put out the fire. But maybe Ranger, Shuta and Minerva should follow along. Ah, who gives a crap?
Ginrai leads the charge and tells himself to get the Transtector back. He has a short memory. Wilder eventually drops the ore and it rolls down the mountainside into a river.
Ginrai jumps in after it and for reasons not readily apparent, is able to swim with it. Wilder swims after him and Hydra and Buster show up, blasting away at Ginrai. Eventually Wilder catches up and they struggle and begin sinking because I guess they remembered they’re made of metal and aren’t full of air.
The two struggle to shore where they are met by Hydra and Buster. Just then, Hydra gets shot right in the face! But it’s just a mild annoyance. Ranger shot him from the top of the mountain above the river. Probably not his wisest move. This would be the equivalent of seeing a military jet on the tarmac and shooting at it, thinking you can “win.”
Buster blasts the mountainside and Ranger begins plummeting. Ginrai shouts up at him to cross his arms and shout “Masterforce.” Ranger has the time, while falling, to calm down, comprehend, and do this.
He is transformed into his robot version and while still falling, Ginrai tells him the next step in the Transformation process. Ranger takes in his new abilities and follows Ginrai’s steps. Somehow, he is still falling this whole time.
The ore turns into a sports car (not a jeep or truck) and Ranger transforms into an engine and then transforms into a robot before finally landing. What a trip!
All the other Autobots show up and surround Hydra and Buster. Wilder sneaks away with the other Headmaster. This show keeps adding good guys. It’s getting so that I feel some pity for the bad guys. They have no hope of winning at this point.
Buster points out that this isn’t a good situation for them to be in. Well no shit. They transform and escape. The Autobots let them.
Back at the Decepticon base, Devil Z electrocutes Hydra and Buster for their failure while the Headmasters cower in the background. Giga and Buster kneel and say that it’s totally understandable. Shouldn’t everyone be getting electrocuted? It isn’t really fair to send 2 Decepticons up against 8 Autobots and then punish them for not winning.
Meanwhile, Minerva apologizes for thinking Ranger could have been in league with the Decepticons. I don’t know why she feels the need to apologize. She never voiced her concerns and affected anything. Ranger laughs it off.
In the end, Ranger says he’ll join the Autobots so he was an easy recruit. Hawk says it’s too bad about his home, but Ranger says it can be rebuilt. What an easy going dude! Just the kind of guy you want in battle. I guess he’s just excited to have a new car.