Transformers: Kiss Players Recap Part 2 of 3

Chris Piers   June 13, 2013   Comments Off on Transformers: Kiss Players Recap Part 2 of 3

While the story of Kiss Players was pretty much introduced and wrapped up in the 3-issue manga and 38 short episodes of a radio drama (released on CD with the toys), Japan continued the story of Kiss Players the following year in 2007. It was mostly an excuse to release some toys in repainted colors. But the story, she was a doozy. The girls from the first Kiss Players story got together to form a band with some Transformers. And THEN things got weird.

The Kiss Player Band

The Kiss Player Band

Read on to see how well that went.

With the anti-electron field around Earth destroyed and Rodimus Prime back as Autobot leader, Ultra Magnus heads to Earth with a trio of mini-cassette Autobots to establish peaceful relations with humanity. The cassettes are Sundor, Rosanna, and Glit and they are a singing group.

Sundor, Rosanna, and Glit.

Sundor, Rosanna, and Glit.

Sundor is a bright orange bird. He used to be a Decepticon until an accident involving sun spots and the space bridge altered his mind. Rosanna is a pink robot hand-picked by Blaster to be part of his team of casettes. So I guess there are some casettes just sitting around doing nothing. Rosanna can sing and her songs comfort and embolden her fellow warriors. Glit is a jaguar and a surgeon (how does THAT work?). He likes to get drunk on energon wine and sing.

The casettes joined the girls from the first Kiss Players story-Marissa, Shaoshao, and Atari-to form a band called the Kiss Players. They went on a world tour and sang Robots in Disguise at the Fortress Maximus stop in their tour. The girls were approached by the mysterious Sparkbots: Angela, Star Dust and Zangetsu. The Sparkbots told the girls to kiss them so they DID and then the Sparkbots took them on a time travel adventure, leaving the mini-cassettes behind to have their own adventures with Teletraan 15. I’ll… I’ll recap that story next time. It’s weird.

The Sparkbots!

The Sparkbots!

Marissa, Atari and Shaoshao appear in America about 20 years earlier, specifically at the Sherman Dam and witness Optimus Prime and Megatron’s first battle on Earth. You know, from the original episodes. For some reason they can’t be seen by the Autobots and people of that time period. Angela orders Marissa to kiss Optimus Prime. She does so and a portion of the Allspark emerges from Optimus. The Sparkbots explain this is their mission: to gather all the fragments of the Allspark from Autobot leaders throughout all of time and space.

Keychains that were leashes in the stories

Keychains that were leashes in the stories

The team next visits 2010 where Shaoshao gets a fragment from Rodimus Prime. Then they visit 2011, I’m not sure why, but they get there early and end up stranded on planet Quintessa. They are tossed into the Sharkticon pit by some Quintessons but rescued by Optimus Prime and Goldbug. The girls get back into the timestream and some Quintessons chase them but get stuck in the time stream. The team arrives in 2011 and Atari gets the next fragment by kissing Fortress Maximus. Bet you’re glad you read all those Headmaster recaps. But now we’re about to jump ahead a little because they visit the future of Godmasters, Victory and Zone. They get more fragments from Ginrai, Star Saber, Dai Atlas and Star Convoy. Stick with our recaps and you’ll meet them. They’re all Autobot leaders.

Optimus Primal and Leo Convoy

Optimus Primal and Leo Convoy

Then, in a mega-fanwank, the girls go to the OTHER end of the time stream to the era of the Beast Masters. They get fragments from Optimus Primal, Leo Convoy and Big Convoy. However, a massive golden hand begins appearing at these visits and steals the Allspark fragments. The Kiss Players next go to Optimus Prime from the Robots in Disguise cartoon. This posits that it takes place in the same Generation 1 continuity and the Fortress Maximus from that show is linked to the one from Beast Wars II. But you have to have watched all those shows to understand that. I haven’t. Too much work for me. Shaoshao kisses Optimus but again the hand steals the Allspark fragment. The Kiss Players board Fortress Maximus and chase the hand through the time stream but collide with the “Wall of Time” scattering them across dimensions.

Big Convoy (there's a LOT of Optimus Primes out there)

Big Convoy (there’s a LOT of Optimus Primes out there)

Fortress Maximus lands on planet Master millions of years in the past, which is how he comes to lead the Headmasters. The girls are thrown into the universe that had the cartoons Armada, Energon and Cybertron. They meet Vector Prime, who was appointed the guardian of time and space by Primus, sibling to Unicron and creator of the Transformers. His body is literally Cybertron and Vector Sigma is his mainframe.

Shaoshao meets Vector Prime

Shaoshao meets Vector Prime

The giant gold hand emerges and takes the girls back to their correct time and space and they learn that it is Primus’ hand. The Sparkbots, they are told, are actually the servants of Unicron. The Sparkbots actually caused Galvatron to originally crash on Earth in the last part of Kiss Players and are manipulating events to collect not the Allspark but scattered pieces of Unicron’s life force. The Sparkbots warp to prehistoric Earth and succeed in resurrecting Unicron.

Unicron and his Sparkbots vs the Kiss Players

Unicron and his Sparkbots vs the Kiss Players

However, Primus defeats Unicron and seals his life force away within the planet along with the villainous Sparkbots. Primus then creates Fortress Maximus to serve as the guardian of Unicron’s life force. Ultimately, Kiss Players bends over backwards to retroactively connect all the different Transformers cartoon and toy continuities into one Generation One master continuity.