Transformers: Headmasters Episodes 9 and 10 Recap – “Cybertron is in Grave Danger”

Chris Piers   February 26, 2013   Comments Off on Transformers: Headmasters Episodes 9 and 10 Recap – “Cybertron is in Grave Danger”

Episodes 9 and 10 are actually a two-parter called “Cybertron is in Grave Danger” and it actually is one of the more serious episodes. The recap below will have some bizarreness but mostly it’s a pretty straight-forward game changer for the show.

Peek-a-boo!

Peek-a-boo!

The grave danger starts with Rumble peeking through the floor. Doesn’t seem like that’d be such a big deal, but the gist of the story is he is spying on Cybertron and Vector Sigma, the computer that controls the planet has just designed a formula for a new metal that is far stronger than anything either the Autobots or Decepticons have access to and is referred to by both sides as something that would end the war in the favor of whoever controls it. That’s our Maguffin, let’s get rolling!

Try saying that one time at normal speed.

Try saying that one time at normal speed.

Soundblaster announces the news to Galvatron. The metal has been named Cybertonuron. It’s the worst name ever. Do the Autobots learn about this new metal? The do. When? The narrator tells us:

Specifics be damned!

Specifics be damned!

Rodimus Prime also learns about it, slightly later. So the Autobots may control Cybertron, but the Decepticons have a headstart. Oh, and here’s what the Autobots are up to at their main headquarters on planet Athenia, by the way:

No elliptical?

No elliptical?

Yup, they’re at the gym. Or would they call it a Space Gym? Either way, the Headmasters tell each other that they have to exercise their robot bodies to remain in fighting shape. Man, being a powerful transforming robot sounds less fun if you have to still work out.

Who is Zarak?

Who is Zarak?

Still cloaked in shadow, the mysterious Zarak tells Galvatron that he shouldn’t panic because even though Vector Sigma has created a formula, there’s no guarantee it can be created. Makes sense.

Back on Athenia, Kup warns everyone that Galvatron is going to attack soon. How does he know? He explains:

Always.

Always.

Yup. He tells everyone that Galvatron ALWAYS is quiet for three days and then attacks them for four days. They ask him to confirm this, apparently because no one else ever noticed that Galvatron is into long weekends and he confirms it to them. It’s always the same. And the Autobots are always reacting to this. Preparation is hard. Harder than exercise.

Sittin' around, playin' with our guns.

Sittin’ around, playin’ with our guns.

Galvatron sends the Predacons to Cybertron first and for quite a while they sit around checking their guns. Finally, a Cybertron police patrol sees them and the Predacons kill one and let the other escape. This leads to the Autobots on Cybertron focusing on the Predacons and ignoring everything else. Meanwhile, Sixshot is into Galvatron’s plan of stealing the Cybertonuron, or as it is more frequently referred to, the “miracle alloy.”

I love how put off the Headmasters look here.

I love how put off the Headmasters look here.

Sixshot says they can steal the metal and take over Cybertron at the same time and then laughs maniacally. The Headmasters look at him like he’s lost his mind. Or maybe they just don’t laugh unless there’s a punchline, in which case? Kudos. To be fair, he just said out loud what probably seemed obvious to everyone else.

Just go with it.

Just go with it.

The Decepticons then get in Astrotrain and then have him go through a space bridge to teleport to Cybertron. If this seems redundant to you, congratulations. You are are 100 times smarter than all of the Decepticons.

Blurr takes a dump.

Blurr takes a dump.

Rodimus gets the word that the Decepticons are attacking. Now that it’s time for the Autobots to react, we are treated to one of the weirdest things in Headmasters. For some reason Blurr can’t get out of his chair. There is no reason why and it isn’t important to the story. He’s just stuck and Kup and Arcee tug on him until they all crash into a pile. I understand adding levity to a serious episode, but this is basically a lateral move from having Cyclonus fart in front of Galvatron.

 

Poke!

Poke!

Cerebros cautions Rodimus that the Decepticons are expecting them to retaliate and they shouldn’t be goaded into something so obvious. While Rodimus agrees that’s possible, he says he has no choice and reminds him the Cybertron is their home planet. This show does that a lot. Has characters remind each other of things they already know. Oh well.

Such a nice young man.

Such a nice young man.

Did you worry that there wouldn’t be enough of the Headmasters? Don’t panic. They announce they’ll see everyone on Cybertron.

On Cybertron, it’s a who’s who of Transformers. Lots of combiners beating the crap out of each other. But the Decepticons seem to have the upper hand. Galvatron explains why he’s winning:

Of course. Duh!

Of course. Duh!

Of COURSE that’s why you’re winning. Because you want it more. The rest of the episode is basically the characters fighting. And it’s pretty ridiculous.

Take it!

Take it!

The Decepticons kick Chromedome in the dick.

Transform? Or melt?

Transform? Or melt?

The combiners have the weirdest transformation animations, I’ve learned. They change color and morph or melt into a new robot, rather than really transform. And they often hover in midair while coming together. It’s strange.

Trash talking at its finest.

Trash talking at its finest.

Rodimus tries to smack-talk Galvatron and fails miserably.

I wanna pat the animal!

I wanna pat the animal!

The Autobot Headmasters pick on Skullcruncher.

You're useless.

You’re useless.

Blurr is completely flabergasted that the Autobots expect him to fight the Decepticons.

Buck up, little man.

Buck up, little man.

Finally, the show remembers it needs to work on its plot. Zarak tasks the Decepticon Headmasters with planting three bombs on Vector Sigma. Once they are set, he assures them it will destroy the entire planet, and thus, the Autobots won’t be able to control the miracle alloy. They’re given the bombs and sneak away and that’s the cliffhanger for part 1.

Part 2 starts with Weirdwolf telling Mindwipe that he’s aces:

Thumbs up!

Thumbs up!

Mysterious!

Mysterious!

Zarak reminds the Headmasters that their mission is a secret. Well no shit.

But to which god?!!

But to which god?!!

Zarak announces he prays for success. So Brainstorm isn’t the only religious Transformer. I can’t wait until he announces who the one true god is!

Meanwhile, the Headmasters argue about whether to follow Mindwipe and his crew, who Chromedome saw sneaking away or keep fighting above. Chromedome eventually goes off on his own to follow the Decepticon Headmasters.

That's a hard word!

That’s a hard word!

Now we get to see more fighting. Lots and lots of fighting. But at least this time it’s broken up with ridiculous trash talking.

Generic Trainbot tells Generic Predacon to get bent!

Generic Trainbot tells Generic Predacon to get bent!

The Trainbots and Predacons engage in half-assed trashtalking.

Yeah? Well you... smell...

Yeah? Well you… smell…

Bruticus and Defensor engage in rubber/glue trash talking.

You have really pretty eyes.

You have really pretty eyes.

Chromedome uses a brand new ability to summon his fellow Headmasters. They say he learned it back on planet Master. Essentially, he calls them on a cell phone. Since he is a robot, this is not very impressive. It’s treated like a Very Big Deal.

The other Headmasters show up and attack Weirdwolf and Skullcruncher who are guarding the entrance that Mindwipe used.

Crossing the county lines!

Crossing the county lines!

Hardhead does a badass Dukes of Hazzard jump off of Skullcruncher into Weirdwolf. It is the coolest moment in Headmasters.

Oh... it's BAD to blow up the planet.

Oh… it’s BAD to blow up the planet.

The Autobots tell Chromedome to go after Mindwipe and they’ll hold the Decepticons off. Meanwhile, Mindwipe has his own problems:

I got 99 problems but a bat ain't one.

I got 99 problems but a bat ain’t one.

Cybertron apparently has bats. I can only assume that Daniel and Wheelie were playing with the space bridge and have infested Cybertron with all sorts of alien vermin. And bats hate Mindwipe who is a bat. That’s irony, you see. Anyway, he should be grateful because they confuse him and he falls and ends up at Vector Sigma.

Up above, Rodimus Prime shows why he is the leader by implementing a cunning strategy:

Good thinking, boss.

Good thinking, boss.

This show couldn’t be much less interested in Rodimus Prime.

Mindwipe succeeds in planting the bombs and setting the 30 minute timer.

He's telling this to himself.

He’s telling this to himself.

Chromedome fights Mindwipe but he just flees, knowing it’s too late. The good and bad Headmasters show up but Weirdwolf and Skullcruncher can’t get away fast enough when they see the bombs have been set.

Larry and Curly.

Larry and Curly.

Zarak tells Galvatron that he’s set bombs to blow up Cybertron so that the Autobots can’t get the miracle alloy. Galvatron responds in a mature way.

Is that dark patch on his chin supposed to be a beard?

Is that dark patch on his chin supposed to be a beard?

Soundwave tries to argue that they should stop fighting and begin evacuating. Galvatron isn’t hearin’ none o’ that, yo!

Soundblaster isn't as blindly loyal as he used to be.

Soundblaster isn’t as blindly loyal as he used to be.

The Headmasters can’t defuse the bombs in time and realize that it will take time to evacuate the planet so they reluctantly flee and tell the Autobots the horrible news. The Autobots take time to pout:

Fine arguments from the Debate Club.

Fine arguments from the Debate Club.

Both Autobots and Decepticons evacuate Cybertron except for Galvatron:

Gotta admire his focus.

Gotta admire his focus.

Unfortunately for him, he arrives at Vector Sigma just as the planet explodes. Ouch. Galvatron is blown up in a big way and Cybertron is left a husk.

Kinda sad.

Kinda sad.

The Autobots ask Rodimus what they should do next and Rodimus announces he’s done and he’s going to search for a peaceful planet the Autobots can live on, outside of the war. Even though this has NEVER worked for them.

He's really upbeat about this.

He’s really upbeat about this.

He tells Cerebros that he is now the Autobot leader. Kup and Bluur announce they will go with Rodimus. Arcee also wants to go with him but then this happens:

Plus, I think I'm gay.

Plus, I think I’m gay.

Yeah, he just tells her no she can’t come because she has to take care of Daniel (who has parents) and Wheelie (who survived all by himself on planet Quintessa). And then he, Kup and Bluur fly into outer space.

The end. You definitely get the sense that they are phasing out the second generation. Even Cybertron is gone! Up next: Who will lead the Decepticons? What are their new plans?


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