Transformers: Headmasters Episode 35 Recap – “The Final Showdown on Earth (Part 2)”

This is the final episode of the Transformers: Headmaster season. It’s been a long ride. I hope it’s been as fun for you to read as for me to recap. I’ll have some news at the end of this post about what’s next in the world of Transformers for The Robot’s Pajamas. For now, let’s watch part 2 of “The Final Showdown on Earth.”

Last part ended with more “Death Towers’ sprouting up from the Earth. Somehow the Decepticons will use these to steal all the energy from Earth. The last one popped up in front of the White House and Metroplex tells Cerebros that the Aeriolbots are going to check that out.

Probably not or there wouldn't be a full episode.

Probably not or there wouldn’t be a full episode.

Can the Autobots stop the Decepticons? Normally I’d say sure but keep in mind that this season the Autobots have lost Optimus Prime, Rodimus Prime, Ultra Magnus and more allies. They’ve lost Cybertron and Mars. They were blackmailed into giving Scorponok a shield that could defend against their most powerful weapon, the Master Sword. I’d say there’s a decent chance they could lose. Read on to find out what happens.

The Autobots know that there are “Death Towers” collecting energy and they’re nearly indestructible because they’re made out of a rare metal called “gliss.” However, they still don’t know where Zarak/Scorponok is so they feel they can’t stop the Decepticons. And that really sticks in Chromedome’s craw, I tell you what.

Whatta joik that Scorponok can be!

Whatta joik that Scorponok can be!

Highbrow takes the respite to let the Autobots know that gliss comes from Demonia, which is I guess what they’re calling Atlantis. I don’t know why.

Demonia? It's Atlantis.

Demonia? It’s Atlantis.

There’s a bit of technobabble about gliss and then the Autobot spy Punch/Counterpunch checks in. He tells Cerebros that a new tower is about to emerge in Egypt. So off they go, instead of Cerebros’ usual speech: “No, let’s wait until we know if it’s a trap. You three go investigate.” No, this time they actually investigate en masse.

Also? I could use a nice throw pillow on this chair.

Also? I could use a nice throw pillow on this chair.

Except for Daniel and Wheelie that is! They get left behind, thank god. Not that they’re happy about it.

I guess the Autobots must have common sense!

I guess the Autobots must have common sense!

The Autobot force is spotted by Soundblaster who was just hanging out by himself in the Alps. Sure, it didn’t seem sensible when he asked to do that, but since the Autobots flew by it doesn’t seem so dumb now, does it?

He used to transform when he spied.

He used to transform when he spied.

As the Autobots fly to Egypt, the Decepticon Headmasters fly up to Fortress. Will this be some epic final showdown between each side of the Headmasters? If Chromedome has his way, then yes!

OK, guess that'll work.

OK, guess that’ll work.

But the Autobots didn’t count on the Decepticons having a cool new tactic at their disposal. Weirdwolf announces… the TRIO FORMATION!

Sounds tough!

Sounds tough!

The Trio Formation hasn’t yet been shared with Skullcruncher and Mindwipe so the Autobots just kind of hang back and let him explain it to his allies. Bear with me, because it’s worth the payoff.

Next time you invent a strategy, share it.

Next time you invent a strategy, share it.

The Trio Formation consists of the three of them… standing on top of each other. It looks awkward and the Autobots stand there stunned. They seriously don’t know what to make of it. Skullcruncher says he thinks it’s great and Weirdwolf… well, I’ll let you read it because he says it better than I can:

I can't top what's coming out of his mouth.

I can’t top what’s coming out of his mouth.

However, the Headmaster triple-changers see it and decide they want to join in, forming a teetering totem pole of stupidity. It is glorious.

Five idiots.

Five idiots.

Cerebros takes that moment to really step on the gas and both Autobots and Decepticons alike cling to Fortress to keep from falling. No one tells anyone anything! The Death Tower emerges and Fortress barely avoids flying into it. Sixshot is wisely just hanging out below watching all this nonsense.

Sixshot tracks Scorponok in Egypt. No tourists that day.

Sixshot tracks Scorponok in Egypt. No tourists that day.

The Headmasters are all hanging onto each other in a row as they flap in the breeze. Weirdwolf actually suggests doing the Trio Formation again, showing he’s learned nothing. So much for an epic confrontation between the two Headmaster factions, despite the fact the show is called Headmasters.

He's really hung up on his new move.

He’s really hung up on his new move.

Meanwhile, the survivors from the previous Death Tower attacks, as well as Spike and Carly, are all being gathered for medical care in Australia. Daniel takes the opportunity to swing by and check on his folks who say they’ll be okay. With that, they basically give him their blessing to go fight the Decepticons. Ai yi yi. Child protective services? Have I got a doozy for you.

And don't accept candy from strangers. Have fun at war.

And don’t accept candy from strangers. Have fun at war.

Somewhere underground, Zarak announces they’re in great shape. He then pilots Scorponok and breaks up through the surface in the Autobots’ faces.

Can't be stopped but there's still 15 minutes to go in the episode.

Can’t be stopped but there’s still 15 minutes to go in the episode.

Cerebros wastes no time in transforming into Fortress Maximus and wielding his Master Sword. He charges Scorponok.

Let him have it, Tons of Fun!

Let him have it, Tons of Fun!

And immediately runs into the energy above from the Death Tower. Wow. You… you really should have been able to see that. Scorponok giggles and tells Fortress Maximus that he can’t die because he still has a part to play in his grand scheme and that he’ll see him in the Arctic. Scorponok then flies away and does NOT run into the energy beam in the sky.

Smooth move, Ex-Lax.

Smooth move, Ex-Lax.

Sixshot follows Scorponok who flies into the Indian Ocean. That’s going southeast, not north!

It's almost as if Zarak lied.

It’s almost as if Zarak lied.

Sixshot gets sucked into a whirlpool and when he emerges, he’s in the sunken city of Atlantis/Demonia/Lebelia. Lebelia? Yeah, he gives it a new name.

Whaaaat? No. It's Atlantis.

Whaaaat? No. It’s Atlantis.

He walks up to Zarak who doesn’t panic but acts like he’s glad to see him. I reallllly hope Sixshot is not falling for this a fourth time.

Uh... both!

Uh… both!

Zarak takes a moment to show off how much gliss they’re harvesting. Devestator is some sort of guard just standing around watching the gliss go by. You’d think he’d be more useful as the individual Constructicons, mining and moving the gliss. No. He gets to be a guard even though the Autobots have no clue where the Decepticons are.

A fine use for Devestator. Great thinking, Zarak.

A fine use for Devestator. Great thinking, Zarak.

And then Sixshot says goodbye. He doesn’t threaten him or anything. And Zarak lets him go. All in all, a pretty uneventful meeting. Maybe if there were some cocktails, it’d be different. But there are none. This date is over.

Ok, smell ya later.

Ok, smell ya later.

The Death Towers around the world activate and the globe is encircled with purple energy. Presumably it’s somehow being drawn from the planet. There’s no adverse effects shown, though. Remember in the first season when the Decepticons had that mad scientist bring Cybertron to Earth? It created natural disasters that they harvested energy from. But it also showed the stakes involved. Earthquakes and tsunamis that the Autobots had to stop. This just has purple energy in the sky.

Oh no, the Earth has vericose veins!

Oh no, the Earth has vericose veins!

The Autobots basically announce to each other that they should go ahead and go to the North Pole. So they do.

"It's gliss" is my hip new catchphrase.

“It’s gliss” is my hip new catchphrase.

While the Autobot army flies north, Zarak tells his army to just basically go nuts until the “countdown.”

In this corner the Autobots...

In this corner the Autobots…

And here they are, ready to fight. It’s also said by the Autobots that Scorponok has become even bigger, but I don’t really know what they mean. Maybe something’s lost in that translation.

...And in this corner, the Decepticons.

…And in this corner, the Decepticons.

Everybody starts fighting. You don’t see anybody get killed or anything. And there’s no good one-on-one matchups or clever tactics. Just a few shots of everybody shooting and punching like spastic morons.

Bruticus will give you a pleasant massage!

Bruticus will give you a pleasant massage!

Fortress Maximus attacks Scorponok but his shield is plenty of good defense. Zarak is almost gleeful, believing he’s about to win.

Slap fight!

Slap fight!

Scorponok tosses Fortress Maximus to the ground and is about to crush him when Daniel and Wheelie show up and take pitiful little potshots at him. Of course it’s enough to distract Scorponok from finishing off his arch-enemy.

Is Wheelie a little boy?

Is Wheelie a little boy?

Scorponok is about to step on them but he’s shot by a powerful blast that again distracts him. Can you guess who saved Daniel (and Wheelie)? They sure can’t.

I guess you'll never kno- Oh, it's probably Sixshot.

I guess you’ll never kno- Oh, it’s probably Sixshot.

Shocker. It was Sixshot. He hasn’t exactly switched allegiances, but he’s had it with being treated like crap by the Decepticons despite the fact he was the only guy capable of getting anything done. He reminds his pal Daniel to stay safe.

He's really into Daniel.

He’s really into Daniel.

Fortress Maximus and Scorponok fight some more but no one is really causing any damage. They may as well be sparring for an upcoming tournament.

Fortress Maximus is doing terrible in this fight.

Fortress Maximus is doing terrible in this fight.

Chromedome announces they should help with their miracle move, where they all fly in a circle and can shoot big bolts of energy. I was actually hoping for some form of strategy or a clever way to destroy the Death Towers. The episode is almost over. I think they’ll just shoot harder or something.

Their solution to everything.

Their solution to everything.

The energy all begins collecting on a giant disc at the North Pole and broadcasts it up to a satellite in orbit where it will be collected for the Decepticons. Announcing he has won, Zarak disengages from the Scorponok body and the Decepticons all fly up into outer space to get their energy.

When things get glowy, things get real.

When things get glowy, things get real.

It looks like the Autobots lost but Sixshot tells them they have a powerful weapon: friendship. You know, like when a bully would punch you at recess in grade school but you’d announce you have lots of friends so he’d be vanquished forever.

You're so full of shit.

You’re so full of shit.

So the Autobots all link arms like the goddamned Whos of Whoville and announce that they’re friends.

Scientifically plausible.

Scientifically plausible.

The friendship creates energy that somehow solves everything. It forces it’s way against the purple energy even though the purple energy is also going up.

I have the powerrrr!

I have the powerrrr!

And the feedback makes the satellite blow up. It doesn’t finish off the Decepticons, but they decide to retreat. Like they’ve been doing for almost every episode.

Maybe we all left for space a little soon.

Maybe we all left for space a little soon.

Since no one is piloting Scorponok, Fortress Maximus takes the opportunity to cleave it in two. Might as well. I guess the Decepticons didn’t need it anymore. Although you’d think one of the Autobot Headmasters might want to upgrade.

Someone needs an Advil.

Someone needs an Advil.

And then the Autobots act like they’ve had their biggest victory ever. They tell Daniel that they’re no longer needed on Earth and that they’re going to chase the Decepticons down. I have no idea what makes this different than the last dozen fights they’ve had where some Decepticons either stayed on Earth or came back to attack it. Anyway, Daniel cries about it. So, when Arcee said that he’d really grown up last episode? Nah, not so much.

He's still crying.

He’s still crying.

Cerebros announces that the Autobots still have a whole universe to protect. And they fly away. So that’s how this era of the Transformers saga ends. The Autobots and Decepticons seem to just decide to give up on Earth even though their battle will continue somewhere in space where we don’t get to see it. THANKS FOR ALL THE CLOSURE!

Not really a full resolution.

Not really a full resolution.

So that’s it for Headmasters. It was weird. It was frustrating. It was fun. But that’s actually not the end of the Transformers animated series. Nope. For the Transformers cartoon, there were the three US seasons and then this Japanese season. Then there was ANOTHER Japanese season, called Super-God Masterforce, plus two more seasons after THAT. Super-God Masterforce doesn’t have many direct connections to the previous seasons but DOES take place in the same continuity and there are a few references to the past. I’ve heard that it isn’t as bonkers and is more of a back-to-basics Transformers show. I was thinking of recapping that next.

But before that? Transformers actually created a toy and storyline in 2006 that they RETROACTIVELY placed between the Movie and season 3. In it, Optimus Prime comes back AGAIN. It’s called Kiss Players and involved the Transformers powering up from kisses from young girls. It was super pervy. That’s what we’ll recap next. Call it season 2.5.

  • Lamar The Revenger

    Somebody give that Chris Piers a medal for this! Or money.

  • Too bad I don’t have money.

    I was hoping Sixshot would do something cool, like kill Zarak.

  • Nope! Scorponok eventually returns. And we meet Sixshot’s ninja brothers.