Transformers: Headmasters Episode 32 Recap – “My Friend Sixshot!”

Chris Piers   May 23, 2013   Comments Off on Transformers: Headmasters Episode 32 Recap – “My Friend Sixshot!”

What happens when you take the best character from the Headmasters show and pair him with the worst character? Does one drag down the other? Does one bring the other up? Do they meet in the middle? You’ll have to decide. This episode is called “My Friend Sixshot!” and it begins with the Autobots chasing the Decepticons through outer space in a race to Earth. The Decepticons get held up by a massive asteroid belt. Sixshot suggests taking some extra time to go around the asteroid belt but Zarak insists on going straight through it.

It's true.

It’s true.

Read on to see how that goes for them and how the Autobots handle the same problem.

The Autobots soon reach the same asteroids but Cerebros opts to go around. In a funny bit of animation, Fortress flies up to the asteroid path, turns, and drives parallel to them.

Still true.

Still true.

Meanwhile, Scorponok gets pelted with astroids so badly that Zarak falls out of his high chair/command throne. Sixshot helpfully catches his leader.

Got you, baby!

Got you, baby!

Aaaand is promptly yelled at for his obvious good advice earlier.

He's a cranky little baby!

He’s a cranky little baby!

Back on Fortress, Wheelie and Daniel waste time not helping. On top of that, Wheelie is goading Daniel to check out an off-limits area: one of the laser emplacements. Guys, at least not now. Just… stay out of trouble for an hour.

All sorts of cool things go on in there. Don't tell your Dad.

All sorts of cool things go on in there. Don’t tell your Dad.

Daniel is reluctant but Wheelie offers him the reassurance that he’ll protect him. I’ve never seen Wheelie do a single thing to help protect Daniel. I’ve seen the opposite a handful of times. Daniel, stop listening to this walking nightmare.

You need a massage. You're tense.

You need a massage. You’re tense.

Daniel walks into the laser area and an asteroid hits Fortress, causing the area to seal itself off. Wheelie fails to do the one thing he JUST promised to do.

OopsTooLateOhWellWhat'sForDinner

OopsTooLateOhWellWhat’sForDinner

Zarak wants to capitalize on this but he does it in a strange way. Instead of using Scorponok’s powerful weapons, he orders Sixshot to fly over there and continue to attack. Sixshot reluctantly obeys, because that’s the kind of ninja he is.

How would that be better than using Scorponok's weapons?

How would that be better than using Scorponok’s weapons?

As Sixshot attacks Fortress, both ships are caught in space tornadoes. What’s that? There’s no such thing? Why? Just because it’s an airless vacuum without moisture and temperature changes that create such a thing? Well, you’d be wrong because as you can see in the animation there IS such a thing.

All that whirling air in space causes tornadoes from time to time.

All that whirling air in space causes tornadoes from time to time.

Highbrow points out that there’s a damaged laser emplacement. Cerebros has to make a quick decision. It’s a great one.

I bet Highbrow knows Daniel is in there.

I bet Highbrow knows Daniel is in there.

 

Ha ha ha. You lose, Daniel.

Ha ha ha. You lose, Daniel.

The laser room and Sixshot are both sucked into those tornadoes. Zarak makes the odd decision to just give up on his best warrior, the guy he trusts with any important job.

But... he's your best warrior...

But… he’s your best warrior…

The Autobots are about to continue in swift pursuit when Wheelie runs in to tell them that they just ejected Daniel. Even though Earth and its billions are in danger, Cerebros knows what their priority is. Saving Daniel who got himself into this mess.

You're a terrible leader.

You’re a terrible leader.

The Targetmasters show the only brains, suggesting they fly ahead to continue pursuit of Scorponok. So the cars with guns fly after bad guys through space, which on the sliding scale of reality this show uses almost makes sense.

And remember to bring your guns, which like to sit on your shoulder!

And remember to bring your guns, which like to sit on your shoulder!

Those tornadoes pull Sixshot and Daniel to a planet, which we’re told is a living being. A living planet! That has some potential. Get your hopes up!

Looks like a dead moon to me.

Looks like a dead moon to me.

They both land a-ok because entering a planet’s atmosphere is no biggie for someone as cool as Daniel. And would you look at that, Sixshot even knows who he is.

I hear you're terrible.

I hear you’re terrible.

Daniel is understandably hesitant to trust him, but Sixshot assures him he doesn’t kill kids. You see, Sixshot is the honorable Decepticon (seriously). Didn’t Sixshot try to kill Daniel’s father a handful of episodes ago, during that fake peace treaty?

I carry them to murder your robot friends.

I carry them to murder your robot friends.

Daniel ignores this olive branch. It’d be a more accurate metaphor to say that he snapped it and threw it on the ground and stomped on it. I dunno, Daniel. Your options are pretty limited. Maybe not the time to smack away a helping hand. To Sixshot’s credit, he’s not going to waste any time trying to convince Daniel and walks away.

Seriously. I give Sixshot props on this one.

Seriously. I give Sixshot props on this one.

But then the ground spits out a rock monster that attacks Daniel and Sixshot turns around and blasts it. He puts together that if this planet has rock monsters it has to be the famous planet Daira that we’ve never heard about. That famous planet.

I want to meet the asshole who names these planets.

I want to meet the asshole who names these planets.

Sixshot decides to fly away but he crashes into a forcefield. A forcefield that looks like a pretty rainbow. I guess the planet can make those.

Where are the Care Bears when you need them?

Where are the Care Bears when you need them?

Sixshot and Daniel decide to just sit. Sixshot asks Daniel if he has any food and Daniel glumly answers that he has space food. That’s what he calls it. It wasn’t made or harvested in space but it was meant to be eaten in space so to him it’s space food. I bet he calls his allowance “future monies.”

It's called frozen Tang.

It’s called frozen Tang.

Sixshot advises him to eat up because he needs to be strong to survive on this planet. So Sixshot is either thinking they’ll be hear for a VERY long time or he doesn’t understand how humans work.

He's planning long-term!

He’s planning long-term!

Staring at his food, Daniel flashes back to the time he got the food. His mom made it and offered it to him. Obviously a really important memory to dwell on right now.

Never trust a cook that says they put "goodness" in the food.

Never trust a cook that says they put “goodness” in the food.

Daniel makes a small effort to bridge the gap and tells Sixshot that he’s a good person because he saved Daniel from the rock monster. Sixshot seems pretty shocked by this.

Everyone on this show loves Daniel.

Everyone on this show loves Daniel.

But before we can get into any real character development, more rock monsters decide to attack! Maybe they were listening the whole time and got bored. They don’t like any awkward silences.

Make toys of these guys.

Make toys of these guys.

Meanwhile, the Autobots have been following the trail of the space whirlwind and then decide that instead of continuing to follow it, their best option is to enter it and let it take them wherever Daniel might have been taken. They acknowledge that this would be super dangerous and still decide it’s their best option.

It's way up there, alongside fighting monsters and getting blasted with cosmic radiation.

It’s way up there, alongside fighting monsters and getting blasted with cosmic radiation.

Wheelie is worried about his friend so Cerebros commands him to pray.

Pray! That's an order!

Pray! That’s an order!

Speaking of bad plans, Sixshot has one. He thinks that to escape the planet, maybe they’ll have to destroy it. That’s like thinking the best way to escape prison would be to set off a nuclear bomb in your cell because then the prison wouldn’t be there anymore.

The worst plan ever.

The worst plan ever.

Daniel resorts to his usual crying. He’s learned nothing about toughening up. This week, it’s Sixshot’s turn to tell him to man up a little.

Keep Calm and Trust the Decepticon.

Keep Calm and Trust the Decepticon.

Daniel sucks up his sniffles and thanks Sixshot. Sixshot is so touched by this, he has a change of heart for the rest of the episode.

You don't have a heart, Tin Man.

You don’t have a heart, Tin Man.

But then things are getting a little too talky so some more rock monsters pop up for Sixshot to smash.

Decent animation.

Decent animation.

Meanwhile, the Autobots are getting battered in the asteroid tornado thing. They point out that they need to get out of it if they want to survive. Guys… you just got in it and now you want to get out. I swear, they’re like cats with no pet door. They always want what’s on the other side.

The problems with space tornadoes.

The problems with space tornadoes.

But don’t worry, Fortress displays a new power: the freeze ray. It turns everything into a wall of ice (in space) that they smash their way out of.

They made ice... in the vacuum of space.

They made ice… in the vacuum of space.

The rock monsters realize they keep getting their ass kicked and merge together to form a bigger rock monster. Sixshot gets knocked around by this one a bit.

Robot on monster action, the way you like it!

Robot on monster action, the way you like it!

He uses his ninja abilities to form his multiple forms and blasts away, but he’s not really making any progress. Daniel shoots one small rock monster during all of this.

The rock never had a chance.

The rock never had a chance.

Sixshot finally blows up the big one and Daniel hogs equal credit. Sixshot keeps shouting “transform.”

Sure. "We."

Sure. “We.”

Now that the danger has passed, the Autobots finally show up.

"Oh. My friends didn't come..."

“Oh. My friends didn’t come…”

Sixshot has zero interest in sticking around and flies away. Now that the big rock monster is defeated, apparently the rainbow has gone away. Bye rainbow.

Ok, see ya buddy.

Ok, see ya buddy.

The Autobots pick up Daniel and return to chasing the Decepticons. But it is Daniel who has the most salient observation: war is bad.

Wise words from a moron.

Wise words from a moron.

Tune in next time when there’s more war! Explosions! Punches! RARRGHHH!!!