Transformers: Headmasters Episode 27 Recap – “Miraculous Warriors, Targetmasters” (Part 1)

Chris Piers   May 7, 2013   Comments Off on Transformers: Headmasters Episode 27 Recap – “Miraculous Warriors, Targetmasters” (Part 1)

It’s been a while since the show introduced new characters so here comes a two-parter trying to convince us there are some new toys – excuse me, characters that we should love. We open part 1 of “Miraculous Warriors, Targetmasters” at the Autobot base on Earth. It pans past Jetfire! But he doesn’t do anything. By the way, “miraculous warriors?” Might we be a bit worried about hyperbole?

Yup, that's Jetfire. Nope, he doesn't have any lines.

Yup, that’s Jetfire. Nope, he doesn’t have any lines.

Let’s see what hijinx the Headmasters get up to this week. Read on!

Inside the base, the Headmasters are squabbling, as usual. Brainstorm says he’s eager to fight the Decepticons and Hardhead tells him he sounds like Chromedome. And he says it angrily. It makes no sense since Hardhead always wants to fight, too. Is this character development or complete inconsistency. You decide. Either way, Hardhead is an asshole.

And you fight like Wheelie!

And you fight like Wheelie!

Chromedome suspects the Decepticons are still around and says his intuition is never wrong. It’s pretty much wrong this time.

It's wrong quite a bit, actually. You're always the last one to figure stuff out.

It’s wrong quite a bit, actually. You’re always the last one to figure stuff out.

Cerebros orders Chromedome to pair up with Hardhead and Highbrow to go with Brainstorm to collect the explosives the Decepticons set last episode in an attempt to blow up Earth. I gotta give the show props for showing the actual work of cleaning up a problem and seeing it to completion, even if the main characters are complaining about how they shouldn’t have to do clean up and that their skills are better suited for fighting.

Damnit, Jim. I'm a puncher, not a bomb defuser!

Damnit, Jim. I’m a puncher, not a bomb defuser!

Chromedome and Hardhead visit a part of the Pacific Ring of Fire with a bomb detector (useful!) and head down a ladder conveniently built to their scale.

It was good thinking to build a ladder big enough and strong enough to support tank-size dudes.

It was good thinking to build a ladder big enough and strong enough to support tank-size dudes.

Meanwhile, Twincast’s cassettes are sent to run around in the desert. I don’t know why.

This has nothing to do with the story. It's not even a subplot.

This has nothing to do with the story. It’s not even a subplot.

Back at the base, Wheelie says that he should ask his friends to help them. Everyone is completely and utterly stunned that he has friends. Even his supposed friend, Daniel is floored by this statement. Wheelie had it better living as a loner fugitive on planet Quintessa.

Because none of us think you do, Wheelie. None of us.

Because none of us think you do, Wheelie. None of us.

Chromedome and Hardhead find a series of bombs but a seismic tremor sets off the timer on the bomb. They instantly turn into chickenshit cowards arguing about who should carry the bombs away. It’s starting to make a hell of a lot more sense that the Autobots have lost Mars and their home planet of Cybertron as well as leaders like Rodimus Prime and Ultra Magnus this season.

Neither of you is that brave, apparently.

Neither of you is that brave, apparently.

Spike heads to the U.N. for no important reason. Something about the bomb cleanup effort. He travels there by a ride from Arcee and politely thanks her for the ride. The role of Arcee is so reductive on Headmasters. This might be the most useful thing she’s done yet. And even her name is pretty bad. Arcee as in R/C. Remote Control. I mean, she has willpower, people. Ugh.

It was very pleasurable to be inside you, Arcee.

It was very pleasurable to be inside you, Arcee.

Daniel and Wheelie came along and hang out outside. They have no plans and do not take advantage of the many things to see and do in New York. Why bother when Daniel can entertain himself teasing Wheelie that he can’t REALLY have any friends, right?

Pop that collar, Danny boy.

Pop that collar, Danny boy.

However, three new robots fly up to them right then. Everyone ignores this amazing coincidence because the new guys look so amazing. Their names flash up as you can see. I can only assume their names are prophetic because they don’t carry weapons this whole episode.

Remember their names and buy them in stores now!

Remember their names and buy them in stores now!

Daniel assumes these are Wheelie’s friends and he is amazed. I’m talking total pants-wetting fanboy adoration. Since Daniel is the stand in for the viewer, that means YOU are supposed to love these new characters, sight (nearly) unseen.

Do the Japanese think all white kids are as impressionable as Daniel?

Do the Japanese think all white kids are as impressionable as Daniel?

Daniel breaks all security protocol by running into the UN to let his Dad know there are some cool robots outside. Seeing as how Spike has spent his entire adult life living with these robots, I really don’t think he’d want to be pulled out of a meeting with the world’s leaders to meet three more.

Meanwhile, Pointblank turns on Wheelie angrily demanding to know whether he has portrayed him as a friend. I’m completely confused why they came if they aren’t Wheelie’s friend. Did Wheelie even call them? This is a question the show chooses to ignore so invent your own explanation. The important thing to know is that everyone hates Wheelie.

Hit him, Pointblank. HIT HIM!

Hit him, Pointblank. HIT HIM!

The Targetmasters meet Cerebros, who says he’s heard of them. When? How? Not explained. Sure, it’s episode 27 but these guys have always been around. They’ve been doing… important stuff?

Heard about him when?

Heard about him when?

The Targetmasters act just like the Headmasters. They say that they want to fight some Decepticons. It’s what they’re good at and their dream is to protect Earth. They sure came upon this dream a hell of a lot later than everyone else.

You had this dream a lot later than all the rest of the Autobots.

You had this dream a lot later than all the rest of the Autobots.

And even though these new guys are now integrated into the Autobot ranks, Daniel still can’t quite believe that they’re Wheelie’s friends. Is it that far-fetched, though? When we first met Wheelie he befriended the Dinobots, almost universally accepted as the toughest and most interesting Autobots. I can only assume Wheelie’s time with Blurr and Daniel drove Grimlock and his team far, far away.

It seems almost... unbelievable, Wheelie.

It seems almost… unbelievable, Wheelie.

Chromedome and Hardhead decide to do a head-switch to have the best balance of courage and strength and finally get moving with the time bomb. They run into a dead end when the cave collapses but then a little hole forms above and they fly out and instantly meet up with Highbrow and Brainstorm and fly up into Fortress’ butt.

Isn't that where Fortress poops?

Isn’t that where Fortress poops?

The Headmasters fly out into space to try to get far enough from a planet to dispose of the powerful time bombs. How much time is left anyway? They don’t know. While I admit this adds a lot of tension, it also makes Chromedome seem a bit extra dopey for not having bothered to look at what he was carrying (it had a big digital readout).

Yeah, this one's on you Chromedome.

Yeah, this one’s on you Chromedome.

The Autobots are about to dispose of the bomb when they receive a distress call from a nearby spaceship. Outer space is a lot smaller than I thought. I was thinking it was essentially infinite. But it’s more like a big community swimming pool. The Targetmasters ask to fly ahead and help the spaceship in trouble. Cerebros doesn’t want to risk them since they don’t know what the problem is but the Targetmasters insist they are much tougher than the average Autobot.

I miss Grimlock.

We're tougher so buy our toys!

We’re tougher so buy our toys!

Back on Earth, Spike and some world leaders have decided that they should destroy the now-abandoned Decepticon base on Earth. The world leaders all seem to be white. And one of them has styling shades!

Where's Spike's medals?

Where’s Spike’s medals?

The Autobots can’t dispose of their bomb since the ship in distress is so close. The big problem is that they can’t understand the language coming from the ship.

Maybe you shouldn't have played that second game of Uno.

Maybe you shouldn’t have played that second game of Uno.

Twincast says that his cassettes can translate the language and pops his chest open. They learn that the ship is from planet Master just like the Headmasters. So why can’t they understand their language? Why can Twincast’s cassettes speak their language? Maybe Cerebros is trying to create a logic fail big enough to swallow the bombs.

Twincast! There are CHILDREN around. Zip it up.

Twincast! There are CHILDREN around. Zip it up.

The shuttle under distress is being chased by three Decepticons. We can only assume these Decepticons have been flying through space chasing a spaceship for ages.

These are their names before they get their guns.

These are their names before they get their guns.

And the rudeness of chasing a spaceship isn’t lost on the Headmasters. No, they bravely step up and comment on the manners faux pas!

No invitation or anything.

No invitation or anything.

The spaceship says that the Decepticons have all attacked planet Master and so they fled. So now we know where Zarak and his crew went.

Twincast, I won't ask a second time. Close your chest.

Twincast, I won’t ask a second time. Close your chest.

The three Decepticon Targetmasters blast at the spaceship and Fortress Maximus and Sixshot shows up and does some of his ninja duplicating tricks. The Autobot Headmasters fight them and the absurdity of Decepticon jets versus Autobot cars is highlighted by the fact that this is all taking place in the vacuum of outer space, one of only a few areas where cars, tanks and helicopters aren’t very useful.

Tres magnifique!

Tres magnifique!

The Headmasters hold the Decepticons off long enough for the refugees from planet Master to land in Fortress but once they hear about the bomb, they step up and say they’ll fly it off into space. We only see them briefly but they are small robots like the Headmaster heads.

This isn't a nude beach, Twincast.

This isn’t a nude beach, Twincast.

While the shuttle heads out to throw away the pesky bomb, the Headmasters engage in one of their tactically sound battle formations. A rugby scrum. Yup. They line up and put their arms around each other and somehow this keeps four jets from chasing after the space shuttle. The same space shuttle which is going on a suicide bomb run. Don’t worry, the Headmasters keep the Decepticons from going after it.

The Headmasters like rugby. Wouldn't have guessed. Should've. Didn't.

The Headmasters like rugby. Wouldn’t have guessed. Should’ve. Didn’t.

While the fighting continues a massive explosion sets off in the depths of space. Did the shuttle get far enough away in time? Not sure. CLIFFHANGER!

I bet they die and there's 10 more episodes of mourning.

I bet they die and there’s 10 more episodes of mourning.

Check back next week to see if everyone died and there are 8 episodes featuring Wheelie and Daniel in mourning.