Today’s episode is titled “The Emperor of Destruction Vanishes on an Iceberg.” Pack your bags everyone. The Autobots are going to Alaska! But the episode begins with the Headmasters reporting to Cerebros that the Decepticons have attacked five of their bases on Earth.
It seems like it gets off to a quick start but it’s actually an awkwardly paced episode with plenty of filler. I’m cutting down on some of it and therefore this episode has a lot less screencaps than usual. That just means you get the turds that float to the top! On the plus side, we finally learn what Galvatron’s master plan is. It’s a doozy.
Read on for a story whose end makes zero sense!
The Autobots mention how they haven’t seen Galvatron himself in a while, surmising he must be up to something. Chromedome points out they haven’t seen Scorponok lately either. And anytime they don’t see a Decepticon, the Autobots get twitchy.
Cerebros tells Twincast to spy on the Decepticons so that they can intercept their next attack. Metroplex begs to be allowed to fight so that he can avenge his friend Ultra Magnus. Then a bunch of Autobot bases report they are under attack so Cerebros tells Metroplex to be patient and when the time comes, he can have Sixshot.
On Chaar, Scourge and Cyclonus sit around begging to be used since Sixshot is using the Stunticons, Combaticons, Terrorcons and Horrorcons to smash up Autobot bases. But Galvatron basically tells them they aren’t worth using. These guys sure have fallen a long ways from Transformers: The Movie. The one guy the show treats well pretty much all the time is Sixshot.
Counterpunch, the Autobot spy, comes across a huge stockpile of energon cubes and then bumps into Galvatron. Galvatron isn’t suspicious of this guy sneaking around and tells him that he’s headed to Earth for the next step in his secret plan.
Somehow Counterpunch beats Galvatron to Earth and transforms into his Punch/Autobot identity. It cracks me up that by changing his color it fools the Decepticons. Have they never noticed that he turns into the same car that Counterpunch does? I’d consider it a clue, but they sure don’t. The Autobots guess that Galvatron’s plan is for Scorponok to attack them. For the first time ever, they have guessed wrong.
Twincast has found Scorponok laying low at one of the Autobot energy plants in Alaska. Sixshot sees Twincast and knocks him off a cliff, knocking him out! Can robots get concussions, too? Steeljaw heads back to report on this to Cerebros.
Meanwhile, the episode wastes some time by cutting to planet Athenia. There, Spike, Daniel, Wheelie and Arcee watch everything that’s happening on Earth. Spike thinks Cerebros should fight back but Arcee argues that they could fight any time and that Cerebros must be trying to figure out Galvatron’s ultimate plan. And she’s right. So these four do nothing and we don’t see them again this episode.
Counterpunch tells himself that maybe he should be in his Decepticon shape as he enters the Decepticon base on Earth. Yeah. No shit you Dumb Dumb. This is just more time filler. This guy is supposed to be an intelligence officer and a spy and he has to think to himself, “Oh yeah. I shouldn’t just walk into a Decepticon base as an Autobot.”
In a scene that goes nowhere, he bumps into Scourge and acts like he’s looking for something on the floor. Scourge is fine with that. He then goes back to his spying. What’s he do? He listens to Galvatron through an air vent. This is the cartoon version OF the cartoon version of spying.
Wanna know what Galvatron’s ultimate plan is? He tells Sixshot. You’re not going to like it. Are you sure you wanna know.
You really don’t want to know.
OK. You scrolled down so I guess you do want to know. Galvatron plans to fuse himself to Earth so that he’s really big.
In order to achieve his goal, he needs to collect a bunch of transformation components which will protect his weak spots somehow. I don’t know why a transforming cog would protect a weak spot. He doesn’t explain. But to get those, he will require the pieces from his finest warriors. He tells Sixshot that he has the “honor” of being his number one sacrifice.
Counterpunch decides to tell the Autobots about Galvatron’s plan even though it’s a terrible plan.
Meanwhile, Sixshot flies into Alaska to tell Scorponok and the Decepticon Headmasters that he wants to ally himself with them. He does this while they were setting explosives to destroy Earth so they are kinda caught red-handed and not sure whether to trust him.
Galvatron arrives so Sixshot and Zarak pretend to struggle to distract him, while the Autobots arrive.
Scorponok attacks Fortress while the Headmasters gang up on Galvatron. I’d love to make some snide remarks but this is really straight-forward stuff. No kooky dialog or weird animation. Just fighting.
Oh, were you worried about Twincast and his concussion? Don’t be. Steeljaw checks up on him and he wakes up just fine.
Galvatron does a great job of kicking the ass of all four Headmasters at once. He gets in a nice Chuck Norris roundhouse kick on Brainstorm. But then Chromedome gives him a dropkick to the face.
After a bit more back and forth, the Headmasters remember that they have an undefeatable magic power and join hands and fly in the sky, becoming invulnerable to Galvatron’s cannon blasts.
Galvatron is getting mad and falls in the water and says he’s gonna kill them. The Headmasters say that that’s their line, which if it is? Holy shit, these guys are stone cold!
So the Headmasters bring an iceberg down on Galvatron. Shouldn’t be a big deal though, right? I mean, dude shoots the most powerful lasers AND he survived a ground zero explosion that destroyed Cybertron. I hardly think some ice is going to stop him.
Uh… nope. I’m wrong. The Headmasters blast some more ice on top of him and declare that he’s finished. And… he is. He does not ever come back. That’s right. He survived a planet exploding and has been defeated by some ice falling on him. It is completely inexplicable. I’m stunned that this is how they ended the Megatron/Galvatron story.
The Headmasters chit chat about how they’re surprised how powerful they were just then. I… guess?
Next episode can’t be worse. Right?