Transformers: Headmasters Episode 20 Recap – “Battle for Defense of the False Planet”

Chris Piers   April 11, 2013   Comments Off on Transformers: Headmasters Episode 20 Recap – “Battle for Defense of the False Planet”

We’re well past the halfway point of this season. We’re now in a phase where the Decepticons attack a new alien world every episode for energy and the Autobots show up to stop them. It’s not too bad as far as structure goes, but I suspect it will get old fast. Episode 20 is titled “Battle for Defense of the False Planet” and while that hardly rolls off the tongue, it sort of makes sense by the end. That’s what we can hope for with this show. That it sort of makes sense. It starts off with a shot of two testicles floating in space and Weirdwolf is really impressed with their size.

A huge one? Looks like a huge pair to me...

A huge one? Looks like a huge pair to me…

Try to guess what the Decepticons want from the planet. Read on to find out!

Just like last time, Galvatron just knows about a new planet with energy resources. I do not know why they can’t go after, say, a sun, or an unpopulated planet. I suppose that’d be boring. But they should explain a reason at some point, like they need pasteurized energy or some crap. Anyway, Scorponok is flying the Decepticons through space to the Twin Planet and Zarak says they should be focused on the master plan. I kinda like this hint. The other Decepticons mention they assume they’d need energy for this secret plan but neither Galvatron nor Zarak is forthcoming.

Schemer, not a dreamer.

Schemer, not a dreamer.

Meanwhile, Fortress is flying through space, chasing the Decepticons. Wheelie is worried they’re too far behind, but Daniel, the world’s most annoying cheerleader insists that Fortress is fast and they’ll catch up. It’s really in-your-face about talking up how great Fortress is. I guess we should all buy one.

And he has a rad paint job, too!

And he has a rad paint job, too!

Chromedome suggests the most reasonable thing ever on this show, that they just attack the Decepticons in deep space. But their leader, Cerebros, cautions that they can’t be sure they would win and they have to be prepared to take losses if they try that. Well, sure, but at least you wouldn’t be endangering any innocent planets!

No, I can't be sure, but maybe someday we should TRY to end the war.

No, I can’t be sure, but maybe someday we should TRY to end the war.

Brainstorm agrees with their leader and has some mumbo jumbo nonsense about fighting being an art which Hardhead takes offense to and they squabble like babies. Right in front of their leader. It should be embarassing.

Your heroes, ladies and gentlemen.

Your heroes, ladies and gentlemen.

Back on the Twin Planet, Scorponok enters the atmosphere and is completely resistant to the planet’s defenses. Galvatron takes a moment to quote his favorite Star Trek villains:

The Borg took over the Decepticons when we weren't looking.

The Borg took over the Decepticons when we weren’t looking.

Chromedome points out the obvious, that Galvatron is attacking. But Brainstorm is extra annoying and suggests they don’t even fight the Decepticons. I understand pacifism, but c’mon. There are innocent people you should be protecting.

Nonsense talk.

Nonsense talk.

Cerebros takes a look at the planets. One is really nice and has cities everywhere, which Scorponok is attacking for energy. The other is a desolate moon. Cerebros calls it hell, but also a good place to take refuge. The show is giving us its version of subtle forshadowing.

A harsh critique of the planet.

A harsh critique of the planet.

Cerebros demands that Wheelie and Daniel stay on the barren planet so that they don’t get hurt in battle. I love that they never even consider using Wheelie. However, he also delegates Arcee to watch over them because she isn’t allowed to do anything useful anymore. Brainstorm says he’ll join them because he won’t fight people he disagrees with, completely forgetting the last 19 episodes.

You fight people you disagree with literally every episode.

You fight people you disagree with literally every episode.

Galvatron leads Soundblaster and Sixshot into the city to find energy. The Autobot Headmasters show up but Weirdwolf says he’ll handle them. Since when did he become competent?

I bet you'll "handle" them WEIRDwolf.

I bet you’ll “handle” them WEIRDwolf.

If you thought Fortress was going to drop off Daniel and his guardians, guess again. The Trainbots drop them off. What? We never saw the Trainbots join the Headmasters when they went into space to track the Decepticons. Where did they come from? And to make matters even more confusing, they immediately leave and we never see them again in the episode!

And he never shows up again this episode.

And he never shows up again this episode.

Brainstorm takes all of 10 seconds looking at the planet and concludes no living being could survive there, despite Daniel standing right next to him. I suggest a new codename for Brianstorm: Dumb Dumb Head.

Daniel seems to be surviving on it okay.

Daniel seems to be surviving on it okay.

The Autobots and Decepticons blast at each other (ineffectively) and Scorponok/Zarak refers to Fortress/Cerebros as his “arch enemy.” That’s a little presumptious, isn’t it? I’d love it if Cerebros said, “You’re not MY arch-enemy. Galvatron is.” That doesn’t happen and the moment is lost in time like tears in the rain. Oh, and the Aerialbots and Technobots apparently came along too because they’re fighting some Decepticon combiners in the background. When did other Autobots have time to jump along for the ride and where have they been? They could’ve helped last episode.

Scorponok needs to grow a mustache and wear a top hat now.

Scorponok needs to grow a mustache and wear a top hat now.

We cut to the planet’s leaders watching the events unfold. They are flat out BORED. They mention they’re evacuating the citizens but good lord, this is your home. Show a little interest. It doesn’t help that the character design for them is the most generic robot shit any artist could crank out. I assume the director of the episode let his 6-year old crank out an idea in between breakfast and catching the school bus. They observe that the Autobots are “probably not hostile.” No shit. They’re protecting you while you take a break.

Our planet's being attacked? Ho hum.

Our planet’s being attacked? Ho hum.

The Headmasters fight and declare fancy new names for each move they pull off. My favorite is the “master kick” which involves two Headmasters tossing Highbrow up in the air and letting him drop kick the Decepticon Headmasters. He does this three times in a row with identical animation.

Snarky-comment maneuver!

Snarky-comment maneuver!

Meanwhile, on the barren planet, the Autobots and Daniel stand around doing jack shit and see a robot dog toy go by. They follow it, without questioning whether it could be a trap or dangerous.

It's a toy dog. But we never see dogs on this planet.

It’s a toy dog. But we never see dogs on this planet.

They follow the toy around a big boulder and see one of the robot natives. They chase him into a cave but hit a dead end. But Daniel points out the one differently colored rock which is covering up a button. It leads to a secret staircase and surprise, surprise – there’s a whole city under this barren planet.

Cute hidden city.

Cute hidden city.

Our “heroes” observe that the aliens must actually live on this planet, using the other as a decoy. Daniel reasons that they must have a way of transferring the energy from the energy-rich planet to their underground city on the barren planet. Coming up with this idea seems to tax him.

Daniel mulls over basic addition, taxing his faculties to their fullest.

Daniel mulls over basic addition, taxing his faculties to their fullest.

Eventually, they enter the city and meet what I guess is their leader. Beats me, they’re all drawn the same. He states that he knows who they are.

My name is ExpositionBot.

My name is ExpositionBot.

Daniel says how they know they’re transferring their energy and the dude FLIPS OUT. He’s seriously mad but unfortunately, does not lose his temper enough to splatter Daniel.

He's about to squash Daniel!

He’s about to squash Daniel!

Dumb Dumb Head says they only want to help. He says he wants to go to the other planet to explain what’s up and Arcee and Wheelie and Daniel agree to stay behind as “hostages” so that the aliens can trust him. The alien leader’s fine with this.

Spectacular character design.

Spectacular character design.

Meanwhile, Galvatron’s throwing one of his patented hissy fits because no one can find any energy. How did he know about this planet and that it had energy in the first place? Now I really want to know because he doesn’t know where the energy actually IS.

Full-on supervillain mode.

Full-on supervillain mode.

Brainstorm shows up and is held back by the Horrorcons. Each of the other Headmasters is nearby but is being held by a Decepticon. Brainstorm wants to do the head-swap but at first his friends are reluctant because none of them want to do the other any favors! It’s nuts. Nuttier than the testicle planets themselves.

Never help someone if it puts you in their debt, kids.

Never help someone if it puts you in their debt, kids.

Eventually they swap heads and Dumb Dumb Head goes from one to the next. The Decepticons don’t really do much to stop them. Eventually, Dumb Dumb Head gets to the body nearest Cerebros and powers out of the hold and gives him the scoop. Then he goes back and everyone hasn’t moved at all. The Autobots then retreat.

Head switching is better than raquetball!

Head switching is better than raquetball!

Soundblaster brags to Galvatron that he found the energy. But it’s just a small pile of energon cubes that Galvatron kicks over. When they look up in the sky, the other planet is flying away!

Galvatron's having a bad day.

Galvatron’s having a bad day.

Galvatron just kind of gives up at that point. Meanwhile, Daniel tells Cerebros he wishes he could’ve helped and Cerebros says he did his part. If his part was staying out of the way slightly more than usual, then yeah, I guess he did his part.

Daniel got in the way slightly less than other times.

Daniel got in the way slightly less than other times.

Oh, and Hardhead and Dumb Dumb Head say there’s no hard feelings and give each other a weird high five. Then everyone laughs. I’m not kidding. The episode really ends with them all laughing over nothing.

Up high, down low. Too slow.

Up high, down low. Too slow.