Top 10 Lamest Mortal Kombat Characters

There have been 10 Mortal Kombat games, believe it or not. It’s been around since 1992 so there are dozens and dozens of weirdos that are fighting in the tournament. Some of them are cool. Some are okay. Several are really, really lame. Why am I creating a top 10 list of the worst Mortal Kombat characters now? Because I didn’t have a site like this to write on back in the late 90s when people cared about these games.

#10 Bo’ Rai Cho

bo

I don’t understand Bo’ Rai Cho’s story at all. He’s supposed to be a drunken master type of teacher but some origins say he trained Liu Kang and others that I read say he trained Shang Tsung to defeat Liu Kang because Liu Kang became evil. Either way, he’s a fat guy that vomits and farts as his special moves. I’m all for bodily function humor but it doesn’t fit tonally with a game that’s all about hyper-violent death.

#9 Kia

kia

In the games, there’s a powerful evil sorcerer named Quan Chi. He’s really hard to beat. So apparently he needs 3 ladies to defend him. Kia is the one in the middle. Why her instead of her 2 allies? Probably because she’s fighting in a bikini. In a world of ninjas, cyborgs, wizards, and gods, she’s gonna go toe to toe with them in a top that just is not helping her with the support she needs. Dumb.

#8 Frost

frost

You know what Mortal Kombat didn’t need? Yet another Sub Zero. They had several versions of him but decided to do a female one, too. Same moves, but with boobs and really awful hair. Pointless.

Makes for fun cosplay though...

Makes for fun cosplay though…

#7 Darrius

darrius

Darrius came out when the Blade movies were popular. And yeah, he fights with blades. There’s no question what he’s ripping off here and that’s just sad.

#6 Hsu Hao

hsu hao

Hsu Hao has a story completely mired in Mortal Kombat continuity. He’s special forces, but undercover and it all involves our world and Outer World (where all the weirdos live) and various ninja factions. It’s a complete mess. But worse than that, he looks like a 1950s steampunk communist. Just a bunch of leftover ideas slapped together.

#5 Zombie Liu Kang

zombie

If there’s a main character out of all the fighters in Mortal Kombat, it’s Liu Kang. He’s playable in most of the games and is the lead in the spinoff media. So what do the game designers do? They kill him and bring him back as a zombie. Just depressing.

#4 Meat

meat

Here’s another zombie, basically, except he runs around in a diaper, which is a lot lamer. How do you fight with no skin and an eyeball hanging out? And does the diaper really do much for you? Does it protect your junk? Or are you being modest? Why bother? Your name is Meat.

#3 Motaro

motaro2

Motaro is one of many weird boss monster characters from the games. I just feel that in trying to top Goro, the guy with 4 arms, they went too far. Centaur, but with lizard tail and horns. Oh, but in later games, his hind legs just go away. Does that make him a faun? I think mostly I thought this guy was lame because he showed up in the abysmal second film, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, with caps on his teeth.

motaro1

#2 Mokap

mokap

Yup. They were out of ideas at this point. The Mortal Kombat fighters were motion captured in the first few games. At this point, the designers basically said “fuck it” and left the guy looking as is. Their heavily contrived backstory for him is that he is a martial artist that works as a mocap artist as well. Why he’d decide going into battle wearing his work clothes is never explained.

And the #1 Lamest Mortal Kombat Character is…

#1 Stryker

image

Okay, so we have a pudgy bike cop wearing his hat backwards? Yeah, fine, give me Mokap after all.


  • I kind of tapped out on Mortal Kombat after it was no longer played on either the SNES or Genesis. I’ll be honest I just showed up here because of the cosplay boobs. Also, Mortal Kombat Annihilation is so wonderfully bad, from the shoehorning of characters to the sloppy makeup effects and terrible hair cuts (cough James Remar). I will always, always have a soft spot for that ridiculous mud wrestling scene between Sonya Blade and Mileena … sweet, sweet memories

  • I stopped at Mortal Kombat II on the 32X. Yep, I had one of those.