A Mister Chris P., a talented artist/podcaster/man about town, recently sent me the idea for reviewing the next tract to review. It’s called “Lisa” and if you had a problem with the other tracts I’ve reviewed, you’re really going to lose your shit this time. What’s really interesting is that this one is no longer available, because it’s that terrible. It’s hard to imagine that such a thing is possible, but it’s true. The publisher of the tract would rather imagine that it never existed and that’s too bad. As many people need to see this as possible. In fact, a copy of the tract has this on it:
So while this post is actually a review, I would like to believe that I’m also fulfilling the original request. You’re welcome!
I think the real lesson here is that we are so unbelievable lucky to be living today. We can be unemployed and not have to spend a dime on porn thanks to the internet
The second panel there just illustrates why you should never be friendly with your neighbors. The jackasses will come in when you’re trying to beat off.
This Doctor is a real class act. He catches a pervert messing with his kid and what does he do? Call the cops to have him arrested? Nope, he tries to save the greaseball’s soul. I’m guessing that Dr. McJesuslover failed ethics class.
That first line by Dr. McJesuslover is hilarious. What’s great about these religious tracts is that the characters always know for certain when someone is going to either heaven or hell. There’s no room for error here, they know who and who will not be saved.
In the second panel I’d argue that someone who molests their child is basically not good. Perhaps if he occasionally bet on the horses he could get away with saying that, but not when you’re destroying your daughter’s life.
And here Dr. McJesuslover tells us exactly what Hell is like. And I’m guessing that Jesus spoke less about Hell than the author of this religious tract. I’m just saying.
When you see the core beliefs of Christianity in a tract like this, it’s jarring. It’s so much less crazy than all the other shit that it almost seems like it’s in the wrong comic.
I’m so happy for this guy. This comic gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling, like everything is going to be okay!
When you read the line, “You got a job?” in the most sarcastic and caustic way possible, it’s hilarious.
Double whammy, the wife was molested as a kid and she did nothing to stop her husband from doing the same thing to her daughter. I’m also thinking that the whole “taking my frustration out on Lisa” is alluding to her beating the kid. This tract is just full of total ass hats.
Now, before you go to the next panel and see how our story concludes I want you to take a moment. Think about how you think this story will end. You’ve got a child rapist that has found God and it appears he wants to do what is right. There’s a doctor that knows about the problem and a wife that now talks about it openly too.
Now that you have some idea of what you think will happen, let’s move on….
Kablam! There it is, our morality tale is over. Child raping A-hole and his kid beating wife are happy together and they are going to raise their kid like they should have all along. How awesome. Forget that Lisa is completely messed up, the dad should totally be in jail for many, many years, and that child molesters just don’t quit being molesters overnight and… you get the most fucked up religious tract ever.
Now you can see why this is one of the forgotten tracts. The message is totally screwed up here. As far as religion goes, yeah it would be great if this guy converted, repented, and saw the error of his ways, but we’re missing the most important part, the part where he goes to jail and is either shanked or raped by large skinheads for the rest of his life. There’s no justice. What a twisted ass message.