This Marvel Superhero Shirt From Target is the Worst


A couple of weeks ago I happened to be in the woman’s section at Target, yes by myself, looking to see if there were any nerdy shirts I could buy for my girlfriend. Of course, they only had about five nerdy shirts and they were pretty girly. Girls are really into pink, I guess. Then I saw this Marvel shirt and had to take a picture, because it was ridiculous.

I’m having a hard time expressing how fucking lazy this thing is. It may be the laziest product ever to make it to mass retail aside from the Pet Rock. But let’s start the fact that there’s no female superheroes on a shirt that has room for twelve heroes sold in the women’s department. Yes, a woman might want to have a shirt with all male heroes, but it’s like they went out of their way on this one to not have a lady hero. But they went with movie heroes! Well, no Black Widow and Black Panther hasn’t gotten his movie yet.

Even if we have the conceit that it’s just a shirt that happens to feature some dude heroes… why does it have repeats? Two Iron Men, two Thors, two Captain Americas, two Spider-Men, and then we just happen to have Hulk, Hawkeye, Falcon, and Black Panther just thrown in for funsies. There’s an even amount of heroes. If they’re doing doubles, why not have a double of every hero? It’s like a big fuck you people with OCD.

This is worse than the Star Wars bed sheets featuring a mish mash of randomness, because the failure here is so plainly obvious. It’s the complete lack of thought that is hilarious.

  • Skewed_View

    One of those Iron Men is actually James Rhodes, and that’s Spider-man at top, and Mayday Parker at bottom. So it’s not quite as lazy as you thought.
    Of course, it is still racist for sticking Black Panther and Falcon in the bottom corner.
    Who am I kidding, this shirt is just so laughably bad that I’m surprised somebody at Target hasn’t noticed it yet.

  • Big Jim

    Maybe like another Marvel shirt we saw last week, perhaps the repeats are (lazy) replacements.

    My guess:

    One of the Iron Mans was The Thing
    Bottom Spider-Man was Human Torch
    Angry Thor was Wolverine
    Happy Cap was Cyclops

  • Good guesses.