The Worst Transformers Names

transformers policeman pete

I love Transformers. At its best, it gives you not just two forms to play with but a fun puzzle in between. That said, sometimes the toymakers phoned in some of their names. And I’m not talking about something like Optimus Prime or Megatron that are basically made-up names. That’s fine. It sounds cool. I’m talking about names like Vroom. Can you imagine anyone actually giving him an order? “Vroom, I want you to transform and roll out.” It sounds ridiculous. Or a name that has an easily assumed second meaning. “Wideload… you’re fat.” Here are some of the least creative names for Generation 1 toys only. Several images are sourced from tfwiki.net.

Alan

transformers alan

Alan! Obviously they’d run out of names at this point.

Banzai-Tron

transformers banzaitron

Banzai-Tron? That’s beyond made up. Just take off the “Tron” please.

Big Daddy

transformers big daddy

Yeah, I’m not comfortable calling you that.

Blaze Master

transformers blaze master

I’m sure he’s always high and it has nothing to do with his helicopter mode.

Carnivac

transformers carnivac

What’s a Carnivac? That’s… so close to a word.

Catilla

transformers catilla

Apparently the good guy opposite for Carnivac. Both sides gave up on names.

Clench

transformers clench

And release.

Discharge

transformers discharge

Gross.

Drill Nuts

transformers drill nuts

I surrender! I surrender!

Flamefeather

transformers flamefeather

One cool word plus one random noun equals one dumb name.

Flareup

transformers flareup

Time to see Ratchet if you’re having a flareup, not name yourself after your problems.

Gas Skunk

transformers gas skunk

Why not just call him Farts and be done with it?

Grommet

transformers grommet

It’s the word for the little ring that goes in the hole in thin material like a sail or laces. Why is a tank named Grommet?

Huffer

transformers huffer

We can all guess what this guy’s doing in the shed out back.

Joe

transformers joe

Just… Joe. No imagination.

Leaf

transformers leaf

Not gonna intimidate anyone with that name.

Loafer

transformers loafer

A Japan-only exclusive Headmaster head. Did they know they basically named him “Lazy”?

Nightbeat

transformers nightbeat

Keep that to yourself in your private time.

Powerhug

transformers powerhug

You are a creepy Transformer, Powerhug.

Rodney

transformers rodney

That’s the name of a spoiled rich kid, not a robot warrior.

Roughstuff

transformers roughstuff

Ew. No.

Vroom

transformers vroom

They named him after a sound effect and couldn’t use “Boom” or something like that?

Wideload

transformers wideload

Just seems mean.

 

  • Big Jim

    People got paid for naming those; that was their job. Either it was only a small part of their job, and a low, very low, priority task at that. or it is a perfect example of the perils of nepotism.