I love Transformers. At its best, it gives you not just two forms to play with but a fun puzzle in between. That said, sometimes the toymakers phoned in some of their names. And I’m not talking about something like Optimus Prime or Megatron that are basically made-up names. That’s fine. It sounds cool. I’m talking about names like Vroom. Can you imagine anyone actually giving him an order? “Vroom, I want you to transform and roll out.” It sounds ridiculous. Or a name that has an easily assumed second meaning. “Wideload… you’re fat.” Here are some of the least creative names for Generation 1 toys only. Several images are sourced from tfwiki.net.
Alan! Obviously they’d run out of names at this point.
Banzai-Tron? That’s beyond made up. Just take off the “Tron” please.
Yeah, I’m not comfortable calling you that.
I’m sure he’s always high and it has nothing to do with his helicopter mode.
What’s a Carnivac? That’s… so close to a word.
Apparently the good guy opposite for Carnivac. Both sides gave up on names.
I surrender! I surrender!
One cool word plus one random noun equals one dumb name.
Time to see Ratchet if you’re having a flareup, not name yourself after your problems.
Why not just call him Farts and be done with it?
It’s the word for the little ring that goes in the hole in thin material like a sail or laces. Why is a tank named Grommet?
We can all guess what this guy’s doing in the shed out back.
Just… Joe. No imagination.
Not gonna intimidate anyone with that name.
A Japan-only exclusive Headmaster head. Did they know they basically named him “Lazy”?
Keep that to yourself in your private time.
You are a creepy Transformer, Powerhug.
That’s the name of a spoiled rich kid, not a robot warrior.
They named him after a sound effect and couldn’t use “Boom” or something like that?
Just seems mean.