The Worst Halloween Costumes of 2016: Part 1

sexy-minion costume


Chris: This is a sexy minion. Except it’s called “Desirable Me”. Oh, Vincent. Remind me why we do this to ourselves?

Vincent: We love to look at pictures of half naked ladies and disgusting no humor dudes.

Chris: Let’s start with 2016’s sexy costumes that are juuuuust this side of not infringing on a copyright.

sexy-dory costume


Vincent: This is probably the most fish like a costume can get before really getting disturbing.

Chris: I personally didn’t find Dory especially sexy. Brain damaged fish aren’t really my thing though.

sexy-game-of-thrones costume


Chris: This is supposed to be some sort of Game of Thrones costume. But it’s aimed at nerds and I’m a nerd and all I can think about is how the Night’s Watch is comprised of only men and it’s freezing cold. So this doesn’t make enough sense for me.

Vincent: Eh, it’s pretty good for fantasy. Even Conan the Barbarian is depicted as wearing fur boots and underwear in the freezing cold. They were heartier people back then.

sexy-matrix-reloaded costume


Vincent: It’s 2000 all over again!

Chris: Here’s the thing. This isn’t even sexy Matrix. It’s sexy Matrix RELOADED. Who is asking for that?!

Vincent: There’s got to be some tiny amount of people that are still super into the Matrix that are pissed that everyone else stopped caring.



Chris: Disrespectful to the American flag. Only a hero like Captain America can wear our flag into battle. Not this hussy.

Vincent: Hey, you don’t know her service history with our glorious nation. She could be a vet suffering PTSD.

womens-hipster-mermaid costume


Vincent: I feel like this does disservice to The Little Mermaid.

Chris: So this Hipster Mermaid actually does not include the glasses. Which kind of removes the only hipster part of it.



Chris: This is called Ms. Rebellious. Not Deadpool. Oh, and the boots and swords come separately. Her bemused look makes me think she’s not especially rebellious.

Vincent: It’s certainly not a look that does any favors for that horrible costume.



Vincent: I just fell in love.

Chris: For when you want to bone Pikachu but he is not a sexy lady.

Vincent: I’m certainly not looking at Pikachu the same way again.



Chris: Hamburger clown. That’s deeply unappetizing.

Vincent: I’d take Hamburger Clown over creeping around town clown. Or ICP clown.

he-big-lebowski-the-dude-bathrobe costume


Chris: If this is what you want to go as, just buy a bathrobe. Right?

Vincent: I’ve feel like we’ve made fun of this one before, but it doesn’t get old. It’s such an easy costume.

shrek-donkey costume


Chris: It’s worth noting I only looked at costumes described as “new for 2016” and I got the Donkey from Shrek. Timely.

Vincent: Maybe they’re trying to tie it into the election to try to empty out their backstock of Shrek costumes. Too bad the Republican’s don’t use a green Ogre. They have an orange one instead! *rim shot*

lazy-darth-vader costume


Vincent: Holy shit. This is the worst.

Chris: This costume is garbage no matter how you look at it. Like, the shirt could maybe be a fun shirt. But that hat is just embarrassing.

Vincent: I’m in awe at how bad this is.

kids-deluxe-chewbacca costume


Chris: It’s kind of weird how off this official Chewbacca costume looks. Mostly it’s because it looks like Chewie put a wig on. Do Wookies bald?

Vincent: Yes, I assume a Wookie going bald is like a Klingon Warrior surrendering. Total shame. Also way to turn a beloved character into something totally frightening.



Chris: It really depresses me that there’s an audience for dressing up as bigoted puppets.

Vincent: Well… at least it’s not his racist Mexican puppet or his horribly insensitive terrorist puppet.



Chris: Five Nights at Freddy’s appears to be super popular with little kids and I don’t know anything about it other than its name. I guess it’s creepy.

Vincent: I hear it’s scary. But you know what’s really scary kids? Realizing your own mortality. Just wait for adulthood.



Vincent: I still don’t understand why anyone thought this was a great character design. Who would want to dress up like this?

Chris: I can’t stand that shirt that I guess is supposed to represent Joker’s skin and tats AND chains.

Vincent: He’s so edgy he got chains tattooed on his skin. He’s the clown prince of crime and the king of bad decisions.



Chris: Harley Quinn was easily the most popular costume at this year’s New York Comic Con. Our friend Tony Moore and his wife kept count of how many Harleys passed their booth and they were up to 50 in just one day. But the Suicide Squad movie version doesn’t really look much like the cartoon or comics version.

Vincent: Look man, I’m not going to complain about it. Anything that gets ladies into fishnet stockings. I’m 100% for Harley Quinn costumes. Bring em on.

daredevil costume


Vincent: I wonder if he lifts… himself out of bed to face the day looking like that.

Chris: I can’t stand the trend of muscle suits that don’t look like real muscles. However, a blind superhero probably would dress this badly so it gets points for unintentional accuracy.

Vincent: Also, let’s point out that Daredevil shouldn’t be this big. He needs to be quick and agile. This guy would get stuck in a doorway.

aquaman costume


Chris: Hey, I want to go as the character that you’ll see in movies in, like, two years from now.

Vincent: I’m guessing what happened is they knew he was going to be in Batman v Superman, so they went with it this year banking on the fact the movie would be wildly popular and he’d show up in costume. At least they can roll it out when Justice League comes out and tanks…. fish tanks…. hahahahaha barf

  • Lamar the Revenger

    Why does Daredevil look like he pissed himself?