The Worst Halloween Costumes of 2013!

Well we did the Best Halloween Costumes of 2013, so you knew we had to do a worst list! Read on and don’t eat the apples full of razor blades. That’s for the kids!

1. Twerk It aka Miley Cyrus VMA Costume

Miley Cyrus Twerk bear VMA costume

This Miley Cyrus costume was inspired by her infamous VMA performance and it’s sure to be a big hit this Halloween. I’m somehow both surprised and not surprised that you can buy this thing. It’s the safe way to act like a crazy slut while pretending to be ironic about it. And no, I’m not really calling Miley Cyrus a crazy slut that’s the public’s perception of her. To me she just seems unstable, yet hot in a extremely insane way much like Bellatrix Lestrange. Any girl that rides a wreaking ball naked is A-okay in my book.

2. American Beauty Costume

Flag costume

This American Beauty costume confuses me. Is it for patriots who want to look slutty? Or for those wishing to desecrate the flag? I mean, if you wear this thing out that flag is getting beer and most likely semen all over it.

3. Beast from Beauty and the Beast Costume

Beauty and the Beast Beast costume

Look at this fucking idiot. Look how stupid he looks in that Beast outfit from Disney’s Beauty and the Beast. Look at his gorgeous eyes and his sexy beard stubble. As much as I think anyone wearing this looks like a clown, they will probably score some huge lady points with the Beast costume, especially if you look like that guy.

4. Sexy X-Wing Pilot Costume

Sexy Star Wars X-Wing pilot costume

What the fuck is this shit? This X-Wing Pilot outfit is atrocious. And a skullcap? What woman is going to put that on her head? Scratch that, what woman that wants to dress in a slutty Halloween costume is going to want to ruin her hair like that?

5. Penthouse Pet of the Year Costume

Penthouse Pet of the Year Magazine costume

I just don’t understand this Penthouse Pet of the Year costume. I don’t know why any woman would want to wear it. It’s like a not sexy costume for girls that still want to get sexually harassed and possibly groped all night.

6. I Love Nerds Costume

Sexy I love nerds costume

I love Nerds?! I love NERDS?! There are many things wrong with this costume, the biggest being that a girl who actually loved nerds wouldn’t want to dress up in a slutty version of what a 1950s nerd looked like. And mind you, this is a costume for teens, so this is an illegal boner I have right now. Thanks assholes.

7. Genie in a Lamp Costume

Genie in a lamp costume

People complain about the lack of non-sexy Halloween costumes for women. Guys have plenty to choose from, but then we also have these pieces of garbage available as options. Costumes based on a hilarious sex joke are the worst. Every time I see these I realize that if I encountered a dude in something like this, I know he’d have a terrible sense of humor and I need never to associate with him.

8. Sundrop Costume

Sundrop soda costume

I think a more cost effective costume would be digging in the back of your closet to come up with random items. Also, what is that model doing? Pooping?


Now check out the Best Costumes of 2013!

  • Chris Piers

    I agree. These are all terrible. Please find about 20 more terrible ones.

  • Maybe I’ll do more. We’ll see what I got going on this weekend.

  • While these are all terrible costumes, they are made even more awful by the models and their ridiculous facial expressions. I’ve never wanted to hit someone with a hot bag of nickels right now more than that Sundrop girl.

  • I think Genie guy is worse. He’s so smug. He thinks he’s hilarious. ARgH!

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