This past weekend was Wrestlemania, the biggest event of the year for pro wrestling. When wrestler Triple H came out, he wore the costume seen above during his entrance. Ostensibly, it was a poor idea to promote the upcoming movie Terminator: Genisys. So I guess he’s supposed to look like some sort of Terminator robot. Instead, he looks like some grade school kids got to have an arts & crafts day and this is what they came up with. It made me think about some of the dumb costumes that wrestlers have been saddled with over the years. The following list isn’t about the worst overall character ideas or wrestling abilities. It’s purely about the worst costumes. The worst looks that a professional entertainment company came up with, thinking it could catch on with any audience.
From 1990 to 1992, Terry Scott Szopinski wrestled in the WWF as the Warlord in the outfit you see above. I can sort of understand the Road Warrior (the wrestling team, not the movie) type of football pads but the Kano-esque face mask and staff with a big W are just embarrassing. It’s so close to wrestling but I think it falls just on the side of comic book supervillain instead.
9. Chainsaw Charlie
For a brief period of time in 1998, Terry Funk dressed up like you see above and called himself Chainsaw Charlie. It was basically like if a 14 year old decided at the last minute that yeah, he WOULD go trick or treating this year. Then he had to run around the house trying to build a makeshift Leatherface costume. One set of pantyhose and dad’s chainsaw equals costume! It stretched credulity that a wrestling organization would be totally okay with someone walking to the ring with a chainsaw. Of course it never really got used.
8. T.L. Hopper
For a brief period of time in 1996, the WWF thought its fans would get into the idea of a guy dressed like a plumber covered in feces (I assume). He’d carry his plunger to the ring and if he won (almost never) then he’d stick the plunger on someone’s face like a Loony Toons segment. Surprisingly, a dirty plumber outfit was not what wrestling fans wanted to see and he never had a match on a Pay Per View.
7. Max Moon
This guy later was fairly successful as Konnan but from late 1992 through early 1993, he wrestled as Max Moon. The WWF actually said he came from “The Future” and “Outer Space.” His outfit, which is covered in circuit board art, looks like a bad Tron cosplay but the WWF claimed it spent $13,000 on it. They should have hired T.L. Hopper to get back the $13K they flushed down the toilet.
WCW debuted Arachnaman in 1991 and before the year was over Marvel had threatened legal action and the character disappeared. It’s like someone saw Spider-Man and then figured the webs were just too hard to do. He literally carried silly string cans to the ring to shoot as though they were webs. In a giant arena, it looked kinda pathetic.
5. Giant Gonzales
You know what wrestling fans don’t want? A guy in a costume with painted on muscles and a gross landing strip. He fought Undertaker a few times in 1993 and then disappeared. What were the costume designers thinking?
It’s bad enough that the costume amounts to a vest and a glittered up Star Wars Stormtrooper helmet. But in 1993 wrestler Fred Ottman (who had previously wrestled as the Bluto-looking Tugboat) was to debut in WCW in a massive tag team match. Sting dramatically threatened his opponents that he was about to get a mystery ally who would “shock” the world. Then Shockmaster kicked through a plywood wall and… tripped and fell in front of everyone. He couldn’t see through the stupid helmet. It was super embarrassing for everyone involved. WCW was left with no choice but to repackage the character as a klutz, which the audience couldn’t care less about.
In 1995, the Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase bragged that everyone had his price and revealed that he had corrupted Santa Claus’ twin brother, Xanta. They literally expected people to believe in not only Santa but his heretofore unmentioned twin brother. Xanta’s gimmick was that he would steal presents. And he dressed like an elf. It was not a good look.
Throughout 1995 (and only 1995), Mantaur would stumble down to the ring with a big goofy minotaur head that he probably couldn’t see out of very well. Fortunately, they’d let him take off the mask to actually wrestle but then he’d still do “bull” moves including charging, trampling and… mooing at opponents. What was he supposed to be? A guy that was way too into Greek mythology? He really wasn’t ever popular enough to explain it. So he just walked around looking like a total weirdo and mooing.
Before Kevin Nash become popular as a wrestler called Diesel, he had several dumb characters but none dumber than Oz. Throughout 1991, he had to wear silver hair and beard and a big green costume. He came out of a castle background and wore wizard robes. And he had a manager named Merlin the Manager. I know, I know. Merlin was from the legend of King Arthur, not the Wizard of Oz. I guess the WCW just did not care. I’m sure opponents really trembled at the idea of having to fight a “real” wizard.