The 9 Best Worst Movies

The Green Slime Movie Poster

I like a lot of garbage movies, but there’s a fine line between a movie that’s absolute shit and one that’s shitty, but fun. I decided to do you a tremendous favor by sifting through thousands of terrible movies to find the best of the worst movies. Enjoy!

The Green Slime

The Green Slime is such a fantastic best worst movie. I had to wait until 2010 to get this on DVD.  It’s a crime that the world had to wait so long for a relase of this cinematic masterpiece, but thanks to Warner Brothers opening up their archives we can all enjoy this horrendously bad, yet great Japanese/American co-production.

Basically The Green Slime is  a combination of Armageddon, Alien, and The Blob. Throw in a love triangle and you have cinematic magic. From the opening 60s era goofy rock theme song to the obvious miniatures that look like they belong in a Godzilla film (thanks to the Japanese co-production) this film is not to be missed by fans of terrible art and shitty sci-fi flicks.

The Room

Tommy Wiseu’s film The Room is a masterpiece. For those brave enough to make it through an almost endless gauntlet of horrid sex scenes at the start of The Room, they are rewarded with an unimaginable mess of hilarity. Bad dialog, bad acting, bad everything, frankly. Still, there’s a lot of heart and not to mention unintentional hilarity that make this one of the best worst movies of all time.

Masters of the Universe

What makes Masters of the Universe (aka the live action He-Man movie) a best worst movie? Time. Masters of the Universe a terrible movie, but its such a relic from it’s time that it makes it so much more rewarding and fun.

You’ve also a great cast which includes Dolph Lungren, Cortney Cox, and that dude that plays the asshole principal in Back to the Future. The best part of this movie is the great Frank Langella as Skeletor, one of the best performances by a real actor is overshadowed by the bad rep this movie gets.

Troll 2

While Troll 2 might not live up to the claim that it is THE best worst movie, it certainly has some chops in that department. Let’s start with the fact that there aren’t any trolls in the film at all nor does it have anything to do with the movie Troll.

Troll 2 does feature some of the worst acting ever committed to film, which is quite an accomplishment considering the other films on this list. It also features a terrible script as well as a bunch of scenes that are supposed to terrify, but only result in laughter.

The Blob (1988)

The original Blob is a classic, but it doesn’t feature dissolving body parts floating inside the monstrous creature, which was an error that the 1989 version corrects.

Aside from the great and gory special effects, there’s a lot to love about the 1988 remake of The Blob, like the fact that Shawnee Smith is really hot in it. Fun fact: Frank Darabont wrote the screenplay. He’s the guy behind hits like Shawshank Redemption and the Walking Dead television series.

Deep Blue Sea

While most killer animal movies are forgettable, there’s something about Deep Blue Sea that makes it one of those miracles where lots of terrible things magically combine to make a best worst film. Not only are there super intelligent sharks, but you’ve got L.L. Cool J as they sassy black cook, Samuel Jackson, and the always awesome Thomas Jane. Deep Blue Sea is infamous for having one of the most memorable and shocking scenes in film history. I’d love to tell you what it is if you haven’t seen it, but just watch the film. I will be worth it.

Commando

Commando is arguably one of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s best action films. It’s one of his most pure action fests without a huge budget or sci-fi angle like a killer alien to draw you in.

In Commando you get a high kill count, tons of awesome quotes, a young Alyssa Milano, and a ridiculous villains who looks like an overweight Freddie Mercury in a chain-mail vest.

Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah

Forget the 60s and 70s versions of Godzilla. There are some amazing Godzilla movies made in the 90s and early 2000s. Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah stands out from the rest, simply because it’s so amazingly bad.

One must really watch it to appreciate it, but here’s a quick bit from the film: There’s a dinosaur going ape-shit on an island during World War II. Two American Navy men are talking on their ship. The Captain recommends to the major that he should tell his child about the dinosaur and refers to him as, “Major Spielburg.” So terrible, yet so awesome.

Logan’s Run

Logan’s Run is a fantastic time capsule of the 1970s. It’s just loaded with diamond sized chunks of greatness. The best reason to watch Logan’s Run? Micheal fucking York. Oh yeah, and random nudity in a PG rated film.

There’s lot of other great reasons to love this shclocky sci-fi film, like the awful robot Box. And don’t forget the small part played by 70s icon Farrah Fawcett. It’s so 70s and so amazing.

  • I recently picked up Masters of the Universe on DVD. I own the film on VHS, but I finally upgraded to the DVD when TRU was running a buy one get one 50% off, so I picked up MOTU and a single disc Dungeons & Dragons: The Animated Series which had piqued my interest several months ago.

    MOTU is just a bad movie… I mean the acting is out right atrocious, Frank Langella and Meg Foster (Evil-Lyn) delivered the best performances in the film. I think James Tolkan as Det. Lubic really make the film though. Out of everyone in the film, I think he has the most character development. He’s essentially playing Principal Strickland from BTTF, except with a badge and a gun, well, maybe Strickland had a gun, although I’m sure if he did he’d have reason to use it a few times! The story is just lame. It was cool when the crew of the Enterprise traveled back in time to 1984, but they already had two movies and a turd under their belt, so that was something different. So a MOTU movie gets made and what do they do? Bring ‘em to Earth? I hear a little birdie, its saying “CHEEP CHEEP CHEEP” they probably just didn’t want to spend the money on sets/locations. You gotta admit, the Death Star, erm, Grayskull looked fantastic though!

    Its hard to sit and actually watch the film in its entirety, but its fun to skip around (thank you DVD!) to some of the funs scenes. One of my favorite little parts is near the beginning right after they arrive on Earth and they’re looking for food, Gwildor uses his grappling claw to nab a bucket of fried chicken, and Man-At-Arms mowin’ down on some bones. The scenes in Castle Grayskull SCREEEAM Empire Strikes Back/ROTJ. Especially the final fight scene at the end with He-Man and Skeletor when all of a sudden the place goes from being well lit to them being silhouettes.

    Another cheesy thing I love about the movie is the music that the Cosmic Key emits, and I can’t watch the ending without my eyes welling up with tears. Of course, I blame the writers for using the death of a girl’s parents as a plot device. When you’re six your absolute worst nightmare is the thought of losing a parent, never mind both at the same time, so that definitely manipulated the emotional strings.

    Fun Fact: Christina Pickles plays the Sorceress in MOTU, and she also plays Courtney Cox’s mother on the television sitcom, Friends.

    You’ve got to love Deep Blue Sea… it’s got action, danger, excitement, Samuel L. Jackson, and super intelligent great white sharks. Best quote in the movie, “We increased their brain size, and as a side effect they got smarter.” Well, NO SHIT SHELOCK!

  • MOTU is the kind of movie that I would never turn off if I came across it on TV.

    Deep Blue Sea, on the other hand, is the kind of movie that I purposely try to look up on TV Guide just so that I can avoid the chance of coming across it by accident. Bab Bad Bad.

  • Star

    Commando is one of those movies I will watch over and over again if it is on late at night. I don’t care how many times hubby rolls his eyes when he finds me watching it.