We all know the butthole is a place of dirt and violence to be feared and avoided at all costs. But some people have been placed in the no-win scenario of defecating in public and losing all self-respect or forfeiting their employment! Pro wrestlers have to perform live and if they are feeling under the weather due to some cheap clams they just have to suck it up, get out there, fake fight and real poop themselves. Here are ten terrifying true tales of bowel embarrassment.
10. Stephanie McMahon
At the Payback 2014 pay per view, Stephanie was playing a villain, threatening the then-current champion Daniel Bryan that she would fire his wife from the company unless he dropped the title. His wife, Brie, ran into the ring and slapped Stephanie. She then darted backstage REALLY fast and the camera showed a stain on her back end that everyone could see. Gross!
9. Vince McMahon
Like daughter, like father. This story comes from former ring announcer Jim Ross. On the Opie and Anthony radio show he told a story about how WWE chairman Vince McMahon was about to come out to the ring live on the Raw TV show. Right before he went out the curtain he played a “prank” on stage manager Gerald Brisco by bending over to fart in his face. What a classy businessman. Instead, he sharted his pants and had to walk down the ramp in stained khakis.
8. Stone Cold Steve Austin
Stone Cold Steve Austin himself admits that he was once wrestling the gigantic Samoan wrestler Yokozuna in South Africa and had an accident. Austin says he simply got slammed by Yokozuna and out squirted his last meal right down his trousers. He says he was fortunate enough to be wearing black trunks so the audience didn’t know at the time what had happened to him. He actually seems fairly gleeful telling his tale of poopy woe.
7. John Cena
Give John Cena credit – he at least sort of hid his diarrhea emergency. During a house show, he once felt the need to poop (and vomit – bad food poisoning). So he rolled under the ropes and jumped under the ring. He shot out all his fluids and then jumped back into the ring to finish the match. Here’s my question: did he have to clean that up or is that considered part of the work for the ring crew after the show?
6. CM Punk
In 2013, CM Punk was dealing with a bad staph infection and was loaded up on antibiotics. One thing that can do is make you need to poop. A lot. On Colt Cabana’s podcast, Punk admitted that in the December 6th match against Dean Ambrose, he shit himself during the match and just kept going.
5. Psycho Sid
During WrestleMania 13, Psycho Sid went up against the Undertaker and the Undertaker went up against a pantful of Sid’s poops. During the match Undertaker sets up Sid for a Tombstone Piledriver which places Sid’s butt right in his face. Both Undertaker and the referee apparently smelled something fouler than a normal fart. When Undertaker pins Sid at the end of the match, he seems to be doing so from as much distance as possible. And Sid books it out of the ring, presumably for the showers.
4. Andre the Giant
In one of Andre the Giant’s final matches, he blasted feces all over poor Bad News Brown. They were wrestling in Mexico and Andre had gotten the green apple splatters from some bad tacos. Plus, he’d been drinking. Andre slammed Bad News Brown into the corner ringpost, ran into him and spun around to slam him with his back and shit went everywhere. Bad News Brown quickly finished the match and ran to the shower without even removing his clothes because he was just drenched in shit.
Yokozuna was a massive man who needed to be near a toilet fairly regularly. One time, he and Bret Hart were wrestling one another in India and Yokozuna was having diarrhea. Bret didn’t know this until nearly the last second. Hart was laying down about to receive Yokozuna’s Banzai Drop move where he basically jumps up and drops a leg across his opponent. Hart said he looked up, saw a massive stain on Yokozuna’s trunks that was coming right at him and says he never moved across a ring so fast in his life. However, the ring mat was not so lucky and it was left with a large pea-green stain.
2. Dusty Rhodes
John Nord was perhaps best known as The Berzerker. He has a truly terrifying story about wrestling Dusty Rhodes, the American Dream. Apparently Dusty had a practice of rolling up toilet paper and inserting it into his butt crack prior to matches. The logic was that as a bigger guy, it helped control Dusty’s hygiene issues down there. Rhodes apparently called this a “muffler.” So Nord is wrestling Rhodes in March of 1984 and sets him up for a piledriver. Nord was pretty new to wrestling though and didn’t do it right. He basically yanked Rhodes’ singlet aside and then started to pick him up and the muffler fell out in the ring. Nord says he nearly threw up because it was stained a variety of colors. The audience saw it too and began heckling them. I’m not convinced the muffler is a fantastic idea.
1. Tommy Dreamer
Tommy Dreamer was the heart and soul of ECW. He rarely won his matches but he also never gave up. Eventually ECW was purchased and folded into WWE and Dreamer wrestled there. One time he was wrestling Mark Henry, a legit former Olympian and former world’s strongest man. Dreamer explained the story to Sports Illustrated writer Jeff Pearlman: Henry picked up Dreamer and delivered The Olympic Slam – essentially hurling Dreamer down onto his back. Tommy Dreamer says he remembers being dizzy from it but smelling something terrible and thinking that Mark Henry or possibly his manager had pooped themselves. The match ends and Dreamer heads back to the locker room to shower and change where he found some poop in his trunks. But even then he assumed someone had found a way to prank him by putting it in there. Dreamer went to his doctor to figure out what had happened and the doctor explained that Tommy had quite literally had the shit knocked out of him. The force of the slam had just instantly shot the food in his digestive tract out of his body. Dreamer now talks about protecting pro wrestlers from concussions but I think he should also warn them of the danger of having their shit blast out of them in front of everyone.