Wow, what a weird week. I’m just steaming along doing my thing and then porn star Tanya Tate drops this on the interwebs:
It’s strange that Boobs is in quotes on her post title… anyway, you can see the post that sparked off the whole thing in her fancy graphic up there that she or one of her people made.
There’s two big issues here. The first is that I find it strange that she brought so much attention to a trollish comment. Hardly anyone saw that original comment until she decided to tweet and write about it. You’re bringing even more attention to the negativity. There’s a quote on the internet, “don’t feed the trolls.” Was I looking for negative attention? Nope. But if I was that type of person I would have been in hog heaven.
The other issue here is the issue of judging a person, especially a woman. At least one of my followers on Twitter was not happy with this behavior. On the subject of her retweeting it and blogging about it, I had said that the original tweet had been seen by only a few and now it was seen by many, Cub Reporter K’s response was:
I get what he’s saying. I’m not denying that it wasn’t a dickish thing to say to a woman about her body. But was it an unforgivable sin of a sexist pig? That’s obviously for you to decide. In the interest of the public who may want to see the boobs that I was commenting upon, I won’t post the NSFW pics here, but you can check out Tanya Tate’s boobs here and here (obviously NSFW).
Tanya herself asks, “In their world is it ok to comment on someone’s physical attributes in a negative fashion, in general? Or is it just boobs?” I’ve thought about it and here’s my response.
There are plenty of cosplayers that I don’t think are very attractive, but I don’t say anything about them. In fact there’s cosplay sites that feature nude cosplayers and some of them are really bad, but I say nothing about them, because they’re just having fun. They’re not Professional hardcore porn stars, so I keep my mouth shut and my mean thoughts in my brain. Long time readers will remember that I used to do cosplay posts here and I’d get snarky, but I’d never try to be too snarky about the person’s appearance. I know I’ve crossed the line at times in the past and came off as cruel. That’s one reason I don’t do those posts any more, I don’t want to be that guy.
But here I am insulting this nice lady for no reason. I had to ask myself, am I the bad guy here? My former twitter pal had this to say:
In the end I don’t think I am. While I can certainly be a dick, I’m not going to apologize for making the statement. It’s what I think. I wouldn’t have said it otherwise. If I could take it back, I think I’d take back the quotes around cosplay. I was under the impression she just dressed up in nerd outfits for porn reasons, but she may genuinely be into cosplay (more on that in a bit).
I think there’s a line between saying something negative about a random cosplayer and saying something negative about someone who is a pornographic actor or actress: It’s her business to show off her body and objectify herself. Therefore, she is opening up herself for criticism.
Furthermore, I wasn’t criticizing any natural attribution of hers, I was specifically referring to her choice of implants that have augmented her body. She was obviously happy enough with the work to keep making money in the porn industry. (On a further note: I’m not anti-implant in the least).
And no, I don’t think people in porn are any less of a person or anything like that. There are plenty of porn stars that I think are cool. It’s a totally valid profession, because they’re making others happy (not getting into the huge dark side of the profession).
I asked a friend of mine about this subject as they were more of an expert than I was. She went by Burn on SuicideGirls (and Lexi on her old site, Loathe.nu) in the long ago past and she said:
“When you are making a living by basically selling your body / images of your body / etc you can’t really get upset when your “clientele” have something to say about your “assets”.
Tanya asks, “But to go out of their way and publicly tweet a comment?” Well, my answer to that is that it’s Twitter. That’s what its there for to publicly express opinions on any manner of subjects, no matter how trivial. I noticed a lot of my friends were following her, I wondered why as I had a clearly defined opinion of her boobs, so I tweeted it like any number of the asinine things I tweet about all day.
In retrospect I think what I regret the most is going negative when I usually try to stay somewhat more positive. I also don’t try to directly criticize celebrities. Like most everyone else I’ll say, “I don’t like X person’s work”, but not tweet directly at them. I think it’s highly rude to direct that negativity at them. It’s why I didn’t use @TanyaTate in the tweet and simply wrote her name. However, Tanya saw that tweet. I think she may have been following me at the time and I never realized it. I feel bad that she had to see that negativity as I never wanted to directly express it to her. (Although the possibility is open that she found it in search, as the Tweet was over a month old).
Yes yes, I realize this is the equivalent to talking about someone behind their back, but think about how often you express a negative opinion about a certain actor, singer, writer, etc. in real life or on social media. It’s just what people do. I’m willing to bet that even Tanya has criticized the looks of celebrities or their work at least once in her lifetime.
I find it interesting that Tanya Tate is taking on the argument that she’s a member of the geek community, trying to turn it around like I’m one of those horrible people that harasses cosplayers at a convention. I think of her as primarily a porn star and secondly as a geek. Hell, according to Wikipedia she’s appeared in 165 adult films. She might be a geek, but it seemed like she got more and more into that as time went on. Maybe she became a bigger fan or was always a geek, I don’t know. The last thing I need to do is to be one of those dudes that accuses a lady of being a fake geek girl. I just guess I never realized how into the geek community she got. It worked out really well for her. When I first became aware of her she was dressing up like the White Queen and showing off her goods. Now it appears she’s selling herself as a regular cosplayer that just happens to do hardcore porn. Whether or not she is a geek is ultimately completely irrelevant. I was addressing an opinion I had on a porn star.
So let’s go positive from here on out. Tanya Tate is an extremely attractive woman. She’s probably a nice person, but I have no way of knowing. Maybe she’s a wonderful mom and/or an amazing wife. No clue if she is or not, but she could be. I’m happy that she has tons of followers that are completely satisfied with her work. I wish her the best of luck doing her thing. Go out there, buy some of her stuff if you’re into her. She’s got cosplay stuff and hardcore porn stuff, enjoy.
Finally, Tanya warns women to not come to the site unless you want their boobs judged. Let me tell you ladies, you can show me your boobs at any time of your own free will. You will not be pre-judged without your express written consent. And if you do decide to have me judge them, I’ll be fair, honest, and give your boobs all the time and care that they need for a fair assessment. Your boobs are safe here. And guys, I’ll just forward your wang pics to my girlfriend to judge.
And those of you who are a part of the “we can never judge anyone” camp. Go fuck yourselves.