Star Wars: The Clone Wars and Some Fanboy Anger

Unfortunately for Star Wars, it’s become a really big target ever since The Phantom Menace. I never thought it would happen when I was a kid, but it’s cool to hate on Star Wars now. That’s why I had hopes in Star Wars: The Clone Wars. The new cartoon looks to me like a fun romp in the Star Wars universe that isn’t meant to be taken very seriously. I’m sure it works as a pilot for the cartoon series, but I don’t expect much more. That’s why I find it odd that reviewers are even bothering to review the thing. If you like Star Wars you are going to see it and probably like it, especially if you didn’t mind the prequels. If you don’t like Star Wars or like the prequels then you’re not going to like it. End of story. It’s not pretending to be The Godfather. It is what it is.

That’s not the case though and the film has been getting some terrible press. Since I’m a wretched Star Wars fanboy, I’ve gone through and collected some of the best of the negative reviews from Rotten Tomatoes and made some comments. Join me in my nerdom.

“Very young kids, Star Wars completists and Lucas apologists may find themselves compelled to attend; anyone else would have a better time going to the Toshi Station to pick up power converters.” Alonso Duralde – MSNBC

Ha, ha… I think. What does this mean? Was this just an attempt to squeeze in a Star Wars reference into a review? I feel a disturbance… in your review! ha ha ha

“Anakin’s a real mannequin in this stiffly-executed CG feature.” Michael Rechtshaffen – Hollywood Reporter

I have a feeling that this reviewer felt like he had Anakin/mannequin thing left over from the last films and really, really wanted to use it.

“Apart from the new ground Ahsoka breaks as the first female Jedi, The Clone Wars is a pointless experiment in computer-generated (CG) animation.” Simon Abrams – New York Press

Ashoka is the first female Jedi? I guess Depa Billaba, Adi Gallia, Stass Allie, Bultar Swan, Bariss Offee, Aayla Secura, Jocasta Nu, Luminaria Unduli, and Shaak Ti don’t count then…

“Feels like little more than a big-budget Saturday morning cartoon. An okay movie, but not nearly special enough to be a legitimate member of the “Star Wars” family of films.” Sean McBride – Sean the Movie Guy

Probably because… this is exactly what this is.

“Inconsequentiality is a pox upon the proceedings, draining any trace of narrative tension from countless large-scale conflicts that soon overwhelm the screen with stormtroopers, droids, explosions and laser blasts.” Nick Schager – Slant Magazine

As a nerd, I will not trust any film reviewer that can’t tell the difference between Clone Troopers and Stormtroopers. Oh yeah, I’m THAT nerdy.

Well that’s all for now. I’m going to go cry big nerd tears and hold a big pile of action figures in my arms until this blows over.

  • What did YOU think? Have you seen it yet? (Or maybe it just came out today…not sure.)

  • If it came out in between Episode 2 and 3 I might be there to see it. Coming from a Star Wars fan since age 3 (being my first really strong memory of a movie theatre) I can wait til DVD. (i might get it then, depends if it’s necassary). But the biggest thing for me is, STAR WARS ENDED WITH EPISODE 3. Everyone slams the Prequel. (Eps. Dung, Poo, & Pee) But this is was what Lucas wanted and I can live with it. I feel the prequel was a story about the rise and fall and of Anakin Skywalker. The original trilogy is about Luke and Anakin’s redemption. For me, the saga is over. Like Lord of the Rings. You don’t see any new movies coming out describing what happenedafter to Frodo, Gandalf, and Bilbo as they sailed off into the sunset. Sorry for ranting but I feel much better now.

  • Vincent

    Emma, I haven’t seen it, but since it features things I love like Jedi and most especially clone troopers combined with the fact that George Lucas did not write or direct it, I’ll more than likely enjoy it. What’s been getting to me mostly is the fact that people have been slamming it hardcore that have never seen it. I’m tired of “this is going to suck donkey balls” from those that only know it’s Star Wars. I was actually told to “go to hell” when I suggested on topless robot.com that the film is supposed to be a fun adventure and not pretending to be Godfather (like I’ve said in this post). Seriously? That’s a lot of hate for something that seems a little unwarranted.

  • Vincent

    Oh yeah and lamartherevenger, I agree that ROTJ is THE END. Anything afterwards is pointless, although Heir to the Empire was pretty decent, but really I don’t think that the empire should rise again or anything like that in the long run. Luke did his job and it’s over.

  • I saw the movie today and I thought it was a lot of fun. I had to leave about 10 minutes before the end because I took my two year old son and he was getting out of control by then. Jabba’s son was a little annoying but nothing like I thought he would be after hearing some review, and Jabba’s uncle was pretty stupid, but he wasn’t in it too much. I thought the battles were pretty cool and I liked the action. Plus Asajj Ventress was pretty awesome in it. I thought the trio of Anakin, Obi-Wan and Ahsoka was good. Overall I thought it was a lot better than everyone is making it out to be.

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