Snack Report: Limited Edition Oreos Face Blast!

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Oreo has been pumping out Oreo variation after Oreo variation lately, it’s gotten hard to keep up. After trying three other Oreo varieties in a previous Snack Report I picked up more of these things and blast my face with them!

Fruity Crisp Oreos

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I feel like Nabisco really missed out with this one simply because the “Fruity Crisp” should be cobranded with what they are supposed to be, “Fruity Pebbles.” What if Taco Bell had made the nacho tacos and not “Dorito Tacos”? It just doesn’t have the same impact without the other brand’s name value. Regardless, it’s a really interesting combo for an Oreo cookie that made it a must buy.

After I opened the package the smell of these things hit my nose with an intensity that took me back when I’d fill up a bowl of Fruity Pebbles for breakfast… last year was such a different time. Anyway, I only needed to eat one to know they weren’t for me. Super gross. I wasn’t really surprised that I wouldn’t dig it, I don’t eat Fruity Pebbles cereal any more for a reason.

My girlfriend, Aria (who happens to have a more refined palette and works as a cook for a national cooking magazine), decided to taste test with me and after one smell of it she refused to eat one. I begged her, said it was for the good of the Snack Report, and then said she only had to take a nibble. She did and boy, she hated it. She ended up basically throwing the cookie away from her.

Maybe it’s a good thing for Post that they didn’t co-brand these things.

S’mores Oreos

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This Oreo attempts to replicate the classic taste of graham cracker, marshmallow, and chocolate. All of this is, of course, artificially flavored, so it’s weird when the cookies actually smell like graham crackers.

Anyway, this combination is certainly more appealing than the fruity crisp one. It’s not overbearing. In fact, I didn’t really taste any chocolate or marshmallow flavors at all. It’s kind of bland. Aria felt the exact same way.

Choco Chip

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This is an odd one. It’s a chocolate chip flavored Oreo. An imitation of a cookie in the form of another cookie. It’s the Inception of cookies. Again, this is a missed opportunity for co-branding with Chips Ahoy (which they own). Nabisco, I am available for consultation.

Anyway, this cookie parts look a bit weird with their chocolate chips in them. The creme inside looks like an off colored paste.

When you bite into it and start chewing you get an intense chocolate chip cookie dough type taste from the creme. It’s almost a little unnerving. I had to eat a second one to fully decide that, nope. This is not for me. I’d rather have a normal chocolate chip cookie. Still, this was a very interesting attempt.

Aria didn’t get the same amount of cookie flavor intensity that I experienced, but she also didn’t like it at all. This is the second cookie she didn’t even finish. And she likes cookies!

Triple Double Oreo

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Oh Oreo, will your hubris remain unchecked or shall you make bigger and bigger cookies until they fall down and crush you?

The Triple Double Oreo contains not one, not two, but three cookies! This is why it’s called a “triple” in the title. There’s only one normal thin layer of creme between the cookies, which is the same amount that would be in a double stuff Oreo, so that’s how it gets the “double” label.

I could see those weirdos who peel apart Oreo cookies to lick the creme out passing this one up and for good reason. I’m not one of those people and neither is my girlfriend. We’re not animals.

Aria thought this one was all right. Adding that it might have gone a little stale. I had a much different opinion, because she wasn’t dunking her cookies at all. I ate each one 1/2 dry the rest dunked.

The cookie part of an Oreo is the part that makes an Oreo one of the best dunking cookies out there. Dunk yourself a bunch of Oreos in milk and then you end up with delicious milk with pieces of Oreo floating around in it. Pure joy. Naturally, a three cookie Oreo lends itself to being a superior dunking cookie. Perhaps this is even the best dunking cookie on the face of the planet! (Professional dunkers keep in mind that dunking time on the Triple Double Oreo will take longer.)

Oreo hits a home run with this baby. The rest of these ones can just go away.

  • Chris Piers

    I’ve never seen someone go to so much effort to convince us they have a girlfriend.

  • I originally wrote it without her thoughts, but then she tried them and I figured I’d add them. Guess I should tell her that Robot’s PJs is a girlfriend free zone.

  • Okay, so I went through again and edited it so I didn’t say girlfriend so much and added why her opinion has a little more weight (than mine should, even).