Rev. Ron’s Fun Sized Review of “Transmorphers”

Transmorphers

What is it?

The Asylum’s 2007 Direct-to-DVD “mockbuster” of Michael Bay’s Transformers.

transmorphers robot

What is it about?

Giant robots, that are less about being “more than meets the eye” and more about looking like nameless villains in a Playstation One budget title, invade Earth and mankind retreats underground for a couple centuries while they collect themselves and try to find the guts to try and take back the planet.

How’s the gas mileage on it?

Eh… about 20 mpg highway.

transmorphers_2007_3

But does it have racist robots, robo-genitalia, Shia LaBeouf stammering like a monkey, bad comic relief and a greasy looking girl with a fake orange tan in it?

Thankfully, no.  That’s actually the only thing this film does right.

transmorphers action

The Good…

  • Um..it’s not Transformers and its sequels.
  • It’s a perfect movie for a night of laughs with your friends.  It was made to be Mystery Science Theater 3000-ed…so, basically, it’s like ALL of The Asylum’s movies.

transmorphers dude

The Bad…

  • Literally everything else about this film.
  • The acting is terrible but I suspect that’s because the director had their friends and relatives held hostage.  That should explain the bad acting.
  • The special effects are bad on a level that shouldn’t exist.  If that’s how they were going to look, a law enforcement agency should have intervened and shut down production for the good of all of mankind.
  • You never seen any action.  To work around the costs of the bad CG robots, the production decided to just not show them and the destruction they are causing.

Overall

Transmorphersis your typical film from The Asylum.  Everything about it is phoned in, so they can cash in on more successful films that put more time and effort into their production, and we’re talking about them cashing in on a Michael Bay movie here, people!  The most effort he puts into his productions is figuring out how to put in more explosions so, to say that The Asylum somehow out-did Bay in the department of lazy storytelling and production, speaks volumes about how bad this “mockbuster” is.

But at least it’s absolutely hysterical!

Rev. Ron is a comedian, old timey gas station picture taker and a wannabe movie critic.  You can read a more detailed review of this film and other films at his blog at http://revronmovies.blogspot.com

  • Chris Piers

    Didn’t Asylum make a sequel to this?

  • Rev. Ron Swanson

    Yep. A prequel that shows the fall of man (in fact, that’s in the title of the movie.) Someday, I’ll watch that one.