In the 1980s the NFL licensed a ton of merch with some cute mascots that represented various NFL teams. They were like the Care Bears, but instead of teaching kids about the healing power of love while trying to sell toys, they tried to indoctrinate kids into liking football while trying to sell toys. Normally I don’t like thinking about sports due to the fact that it makes my brain hurt, but today the NFL Huddles really need a good looking at, because some of them are really friggen ridiculous.
Holy shit, talk about racist. Now days people get all up in arms about the fact that Indian mascots are offensive and on the whole, I don’t think they are inherently racist. I believe it’s how they are handled or what their name is exactly. For example, let’s say you have a team called the Trojans and had a picture of an Greek ancient warrior, that’s not racist. But if you have a team called The Yellowskins and had a picture of an Asian person, that would be racist. Sorry Reddy, you don’t hold up too well to the test of time.
In a stark contrast to Reddy here, Casey Cheif gets off a little better with not having a name that gives a bit of a D-chill. I don’t have a problem with this guy:
Here’s another big problem with the NFL Huddles, they’re almost all white dudes with mustaches or beards. I guess the designers had a hard time with teams like the Browns. What is a “brown” besides a turd? So they made this guy who has no real defining characteristics, except for the fact he’s a friggen football player. Genius. Now case in point for the Reddy Redskin, Brownie Brown is not a black guy. Why? Because that would be racist. Brownie Brown exists as a reminder that there are no black NFL Huddles. What kind of encouragement would a black kid have to like any of these dudes? There’s none that speak to them even though a large percentage of the NFL is made up of non-whites.
They really went the lazy route with these names. It also doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to fit an anthropomorphic airplane in with a bunch of little people and animals. It just bothers me, especially when he’s the same size as the rest of the mascots. Wouldn’t he be way bigger? I just think about this way too much. In the world of the NFL Huddles do they fly in airplanes that are sentient beings? I can only imagine the nightmare of having to fly cross country in the small intestines of Billy the Boeing 747.
There’s really nothing wrong with Bucky here. He’s a cute horse, what’s not to love? Well, the problem is more in the fact in the laziness of the Huddles designers. Look at Bucky alongside the other horse in the group, Cody Colt:
They’re the same god damned horse. Lazy!
When I was a kid it was kind of exciting seeing the Packers in something like this, because it was really the only attention that Wisconsin got. Still, there was no escaping the fact that while other kids got to route for tigers and bears, we got a dude with a beard. It’s also friggen creepy that he’s got a smock to absorb the blood from his meat packing work. That’s what a packer is, by the way. He’s a cute little guy that just happens to chop up cows up in a factory. Awesome.