The Worst NFL Huddles

In the 1980s the NFL licensed a ton of merch with some cute mascots that represented various NFL teams. They were like the Care Bears, but instead of teaching kids about the healing power of love while trying to sell toys, they tried to indoctrinate kids into liking football while trying to sell toys. Normally I don’t like thinking about sports due to the fact that it makes my brain hurt, but today the NFL Huddles really need a good looking at, because some of them are really friggen ridiculous.

Reddy Redskin

reddy-redskin

Holy shit, talk about racist. Now days people get all up in arms about the fact that Indian mascots are offensive and on the whole, I don’t think they are inherently racist. I believe it’s how they are handled or what their name is exactly. For example, let’s say you have a team called the Trojans and had a picture of an Greek ancient warrior, that’s not racist. But if you have a team called The Yellowskins and had a picture of an Asian person, that would be racist. Sorry Reddy, you don’t hold up too well to the test of time.

In a stark contrast to Reddy here, Casey Cheif gets off a little better with not having a name that gives a bit of a D-chill. I don’t have a problem with this guy:

casey-chief

Brownie Brown

brownie-brown

Here’s another big problem with the NFL Huddles, they’re almost all white dudes with mustaches or beards. I guess the designers had a hard time with teams like the Browns. What is a “brown” besides a turd? So they made this guy who has no real defining characteristics, except for the fact he’s a friggen football player. Genius. Now case in point for the Reddy Redskin, Brownie Brown is not a black guy. Why? Because that would be racist. Brownie Brown exists as a reminder that there are no black NFL Huddles. What kind of encouragement would a black kid have to like any of these dudes? There’s none that speak to them even though a large percentage of the NFL is made up of non-whites.

Jumbo Jet

jumbojet1They really went the lazy route with these names. It also doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to fit an anthropomorphic airplane in with a bunch of little people and animals. It just bothers me, especially when he’s the same size as the rest of the mascots. Wouldn’t he be way bigger? I just think about this way too much. In the world of the NFL Huddles do they fly in airplanes that are sentient beings? I can only imagine the nightmare of having to fly cross country in the small intestines of Billy the Boeing 747.


Bucky Bronco

bucky-bronco

There’s really nothing wrong with Bucky here. He’s a cute horse, what’s not to love? Well, the problem is more in the fact in the laziness of the Huddles designers. Look at Bucky alongside the  other horse in the group, Cody Colt:

horses

They’re the same god damned horse. Lazy!

Charlie Charger

charlie-chargerWhat is the representation of  a “Charger”? Why, a dude with a sweet mustache! Is he an aviator? A rapist from the 1800s? Who knows?

Packy Packer

packy-packer

When I was a kid it was kind of exciting seeing the Packers in something like this, because it was really the only attention that Wisconsin got. Still, there was no escaping the fact that while other kids got to route for tigers and bears, we got a dude with a beard. It’s also friggen creepy that he’s got a smock to absorb the blood from his meat packing work. That’s what a packer is, by the way. He’s a cute little guy that just happens to chop up cows up in a factory. Awesome.


  • I didn’t remember these until your great post. I forgot how silly they all were.

  • Dave

    You are dead wrong here, bro. (I know, I know, it’s all a matter of personal opinion.)

    The Huddles were cuddly and cute. And they were good for different age groups. Kids liked them because they were sold in 7 and 12 inch varieties, were fairly plush, colorful, and cool to collect. It was a good way to get to know the different teams in the league and what the team names really meant as far as mascots went.

    For adults, they were regularly on their sidelines during games. Not only that, all Huddles appeared at the halftime show of Super Bowl XIX at Stanford Stadium in Palo Alto, California.

    Were they a little silly? LOL, of course! But that’s what mascots are supposed to be! They’re supposed to add a little levity and lightheartedness to a violent game.

    I had 8 of these mascots as a kid and they are still up in my Mom’s attic. The Huddles weren’t THE reason but one facet of many reasons why I grew up loving NFL football and still do.

    -Dave

  • Hey congrats and thanks for leaving a comment. I’m glad someone remembers these besides me. I might have been a little cruel to the Huddles, but that’s where the humor comes from.

  • PrfktTear

    Dad’s don’t get their sons to like sports by buying them toys, they get them into sports by beating them and using them for ash trays when they don’t do well on the pop warner football team.

    If these were made today in Galactic/Robot Heroes style, I would definitely be down for a Patty Patriot!

  • lamartherevenger

    I barely remember these.. you should’ve put the Steelers up.. but I won’t start a football arguement

  • Stanley Steeler? Or Stevie Steeler?

    Either way, I’m rooting for the Packers, its what Red Foreman would have wanted.

  • Ron

    I darest not ask what name they gave the Bills’ huddle.

  • Seth

    These things sell for big bucks on EBAY. The Buffalo one went for over $250!!!!!!!

  • I had 11 when I was a kid. I really wish I had taken better care of my stuff because I thought that they were cute. Further, I wish that I had the above 8 huddles!!!

  • dude you didnt even mention the Seattle Seahawks/Atlanta Falcons huddles, pretty much the same story as the colts/broncs huddles.

  • Alan LaSalle

    I loved these huddles as a kid!!! I started collecting them on Ebay in January and already have 25!!! I just need 3 more extremely tough to find ones: Houston Oilers, San Diego Chargers, and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers!!!

  • Astock

    What was teh name of the Bills Huddles mascot?

  • Huh

    By all means, let’s add levity and “lightheartedness” to a violent game. Really? That statement doesn’t help your cause. The title of this was ‘The Worst NFL Huddles’, and yeah, some of them were terrible. Don’t get all bent out of shape, about the whole line.

  • Overall there were some neat Huddles, but man some of them were either lazy or racist, so I like to call them out in the form of humor. Maybe I’m just bitter though. We were stuck with Packy Packer when I was a kid.

  • What was the name of the Dallas Cowboy “Huddles”? I’ve seen the doll on eBay, but I can’t find a picture of the Dallas Cowboy Huddles on the sidelines during a game. Do you have a picture of him that you could post?

    (sorry for being late to the party — I googled “Huddles” and just found this)