Netflix New Releases for September 2016 – Rev. Ron’s Bite-Size Synopses

Rev Ron Netflix

Well, it’s that time again! August is down for the three count after September snuck up on it and hit it with a chair when the ref had his back turned. Summer is about to end and it’s your last month to get out there and enjoy the outdoors—unless you’re lucky enough to live in an area that skips winter.  You could go for a hike, hit the old swimmin’ hole and chase down the ice cream truck driving through your neighborhood or you can forget sweating in the woods, do away with getting wet and the embarrassment of being seen in a bathing suit in public and avoid the creepy man who made all the wrong decisions in life that resulted in a career path of being a purveyor of frozen treats (Preemptive apology: Not all ice cream salesman are creeps) and you can stay inside all day streaming Netflix!

September offers up a whole lot of films to watch but it is also offering up a bunch of Netflix originals as well. There’s a bunch of original documentaries coming, some exclusive stand up specials, the second season of Narcos and, most importantly to me and I’m assuming our readers, the latest Marvel series Luke Cage!

luke cage logo

Let’s get started!

The Amityville Horror (September 1st) – The remake (start your knee-jerk remake complaints now) of the 70s horror film of the same name stars Ryan Reynolds and his ridiculously perfect abs and tells the “real” (that was in no way a hoax and I am not being sarcastic at all) story of a family tormented by ghosts after they move into their dream home. I don’t really care for the original and this one wasn’t much different and was about as equally non-scary. I’d say Skip It.

Behind Enemy Lines (September 1st) – It’s hard to imagine seeing Owen Wilson in a war time drama role but, in 2001, he did it—and it wasn’t that bad. The reviews for it were terrible as the critics called out the jingoistic undertones but there’s no denying that there are some intense moments in this film about a soldier stuck behind enemy lines (OH! That’s where they got the title.) It’s by no means a great film but it has its moments. If you’re bored, I’d say Check It Out.

Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey (September 1st) – Sequels are a tough thing, especially when the first one is pretty damn fun but this next adventure of the two friends from San Dimas high school wasn’t too shabby; however, this time they ain’t traveling through time but rather the afterlife. It’s silly and super over-the-top but I will stand proud and say I love it! Definitely Check It Out!

Defiance (September 1st) – Daniel Craig stars in this 2008 film set in World War II in Nazi-occupied Eastern Europe and tells the tale of two brothers providing shelter and defending non-combatant Jewish civilians. The story is cool and the performances are great but the film is kinda forgettable.  I’d say Skip It.

Footloose (September 1st) – This is one of those silly 80s movies that has gone on to be a classic but if it was made today (and not remade as it was in 2011 but rather like the original never existed kind of way) it would be a laughing stock. Kevin Bacon plays a teen that moves to a small town where rock music and dancing is forbidden. *GASP* Honestly, I think this film is dumb but there’s a charm to it. I’d say Check It Out.

Jaws (September 1st) – This Steven Spielberg feature from 1975 made audiences terrified to go to the beach. This story of a killer shark terrorizing a small beach community has a fantastic cast, an iconic score and, thanks to technical issues with a robot shark that just couldn’t work, terrifying imagery that forces the viewer to see a lot of the horror from the killer’s point of view. While it may not be as scary as it was when it came out the film is still an incredible piece of work.It’s a Must See!

Jaws 2 (September 1st) – The first of many sequels that all decrease exponentially in quality, this 1978 feature is basically a rehash of what we’ve already seen. It’s definitely the best of the sequels but it doesn’t hold a candle to the first film. Still, I’d say Check It Out.

Jaws 3 (September 1st) – A ton of horror sequels in the 70s and 80s seemed forced by law to make their 3rd film a 3D feature and this one delivers some of the most ludicrous 3D you’ll ever see. This one takes place in a Sea World park where they attempt to have a great white exhibit but, of course, there’s a bigger shark out there ready for murder. Dennis Quaid stars in this goofy feature. Why not Check It Out? It’s good for some laughs.

Jaws: The Revenge (September 1st) – Is it possible for a killer shark franchise to jump the shark?  Because it did with this one. The Revenge sees the widow of our hero from the first film return and swears that a shark is hunting her family in order to exact revenge. This one is pretty ridiculous but it has Michael Caine in it—so, there’s that, I guess. Normally, I’d just say Skip It but since Netflix is putting them all up from streaming, I’d say marathon them and Check It Out.

Man on Wire (September 1st) – This 2008 documentary follows the true story of Philippe Petit’s illegal stunt in the 70s where he tight rope walked across the towers at the World Trade Center. The how they did it and videos of the actual event are incredibly interesting to watch and insane to take in. The act inspired a great film starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt but it’s definitely worth the time to see this doc. It’s a Must See!

Piranha (September 1st) – This 1978 schlock horror film was one of the many features that came out trying to cash in on the success of Jaws. It’s basically cheesy horror at its finest and produced by the man who gave us some of the greatest B-movie monster movies in existence; Roger Corman. It’s all about killer piranha and it delivers on that without making it an obviously overhanded spectacle—like B-movie monster films do nowadays. I’d definitely say Check It Out!

Road Trip (September 1st) – This film is basically your run-of-the-mill sex comedy that centers on a guy hitting the road with his college buddies in order to collect a sex tape he made which he accidentally sent to his girlfriend attending another college. It’s a mindless film but I won’t lie it has its moments that I find hysterical. I’d say Check It Out.

Saving Private Ryan (September 1st) – Never has there been a more unflinching look at how horrifying the theater of war could be. In 1998, Steven Spielberg brought to life a tale of soldiers who are on a mission to collect a single soldier after the war has claimed all his siblings.  It’s dramatic and has some incredible action sequences. It’s just an amazing film and a Must See.

Scary Movie 2 (September 1st) – The first film is a decent take on the lost art of the parody and this film is probably the last time the franchise is amusing. Like the later films, a lot of the parodies feel incredibly forced but it definitely has memorable moments that make it worth the time. I’d say Check It Out.

Top Gun (September 1st) – This is another one of those odd 80s films that I find more amusing than entertaining. Centered on some pilots for the Navy, this film features Tom Cruise and his toothy smile, some pointless volleyball, and cheesy love ballads. I don’t find this film that entertaining on the surface but it is amusing in its own unique way. However, I’d say Skip It.

The Wicker Man (September 1st) – A remake of a cult classic, this film sees Nicolas Cage playing a cop who is investigating a missing child at the behest of a former lover. However, what he finds is a strange cult where nothing is what it seems. This film is just horrible on so many levels but it is in how bad it is that makes it amazing. It’s truly something to behold because so little of it makes any sense and Nic Cage is so committed to being the craziest he’s ever been. If you like bad movies like I do, this is a Must See but if you want quality, I’d say Skip It.

Crash (September 6th) – A pretty powerful and poignant film that centers on various individuals in L.A. and how race, loss and other emotional hurdles effects them and those around them.  Its themes are just as relevant now as they were then—not that it was made that long ago, however.  It’s a Must See!

Zootopia (September 20th) – While we usually see talking animals in animated films doing generic things that humans do, this film took it an additional step and gave the film some deeper meanings and commentary about racism. The film centers on a rabbit that aims to be a cop in the big city but can’t get over some of her own prejudices. The film has some problems with bad animal puns, a terrible pop song at the end and a whole bunch of dark questions about the reality that is being displayed (like what caused the sudden evolution of the animals and what happened to the humans?) but the film is fun and has a decent message. I’d say it’s a Must See!

The Imitation Game (September 28th) – Benedict Cumberbatch stars as Alan Turning in this bio-pic about the man who was able to crack the enigma code during WWII. It has great performances and a terrific story. I’d say Check It Out.

Additional Films (That I Haven’t Seen) Released in September

September 1st
Babel (2006)
Bayou Maharajah: The Tragic Genius of James Booker (2013)
Bratz: The Movie (2007)
Burn, Burn, Burn (2015)
Cats & Dogs (2001)
Easy Fortune Happy Life (2009)
Europe’s Last Great Wilderness (2015)
The Fierce Wife (2010)
Full Out (2015)
Hoot (2006)
Hope Floats (1998)
Indochina’s Wild Heart (2015)
Joyful Noise (2012)
Keepers of the Game (2016)
Last Holiday (2006)
Milk Money (1994)
A Perfect Day (2015)
Practical Magic (1998)
Sam Kinison: Breaking the Rules (2000)
Stomp the Yard (2007)
Sweeny Todd (2007)
True Grit (1969)
U571 (2000)
Wild Madagascar (2015)

September 2nd
Narcos Season 2

September 6th
The Finest Hours (2015)
Hard Target 2 (2016)
Honey 3 (2016)
R. L. Stine’s Mostly Ghostly:  One Night in Doom House (2016)

September 13th
Extremis (Netflix Original Documentary—not pertaining to the Iron Man story, sadly)
London Has Fallen (2015)

September 15th
Sample This (2012)

September 16th
Raiders!: The Story of the Greatest Fan Film Ever Made (2015)

September 17th
3 Days to Kill (2014)

September 20th
Colliding Dreams (2016)

September 24th
River (2016)

September 25th
Margaret Cho:  PsyCHO (2015)

September 30th
Marvel’s Luke Cage

And there ya have it!  A whole lot of movies and shows are coming to Netflix in September.  I personally can’t wait to binge on Luke Cage.  The teasers and trailers have me pumped for it and Mike Coulter was so amazing in Jessica Jones.  Anyway, that’s what you have to look forward to in the last month of summer.  Now, my friends, go forth and stream!

Rev. Ron is a mystery—an enigma.  He’s loved by women, loved by men, loved by species that only exist on a theoretical plane of existence.  Actually, he’s just a dork who loves comics and movies.  You can read his reviews on his blog at RevRonMovies.BlogSpot.com.  You can also follow him on Twitter (@RevRonster).