Netflix New Releases for March 2017 – Rev. Ron’s Bite-Size Synopses

Ron Swanson   March 2, 2017   Comments Off on Netflix New Releases for March 2017 – Rev. Ron’s Bite-Size Synopses

Rev Ron Netflix

The month of Valentine’s Day and that racist guy you know on Facebook who always asks, “Why isn’t there a White History Month?” is coming to a close and the month that offers us spring is strolling on in! Sure, perfect jogging weather is great and all but a new month also promises new reasons to forget all that exercising outdoor nonsense and just staying indoors thanks to new movies, shows and originals coming to Netflix. The big news for March, of course, is Marvel’s latest series Iron Fist. The final member of The Defenders is getting his time to shine and all episodes will be released on the 17th—I can’t wait for that! However, in addition to that we’re also getting a killer stop-motion animated film based on some Neil Gaiman work, some little movies about some dinosaurs and one mockumentary that takes it up to 11!

Let’s get started!

Blazing Saddles (March 1st) – An endlessly quotable comedy from the brilliant minds of Mel Brooks and Richard Pryor. It stars Cleavon Little as a black sheriff in the days of the Old West and co-stars Gene Wilder and a whole host of other comedic talents as it riffs on racism, old Hollywood and Western tropes.  It’s as poignant and as hysterical today as it was when it came out. It’s a MUST SEE!

Jurassic Park (March 1st) – Based on the wildly popular book from Michael Crichton (I know I’ve read it at least 3 times in my life), this Steven Spielberg film revolutionized special effects when it was released in 1993. The ultimate child fantasy is fulfilled when scientists are able to clone dinosaurs and create a theme park for them. But, this is movie science so something terrible happens. Everything from the effects to the story still holds up (which is why it continues to make sequels today) and, without a doubt, it’s a MUST SEE!

The Lost World: Jurassic Park (March 1st) – Adapted from Michael Crichton’s novel of the same name, this tale reveals that the scientists behind the original park had a secret island where they official cloned the dinosaurs before they would be transferred. This secret island is under threat of a new company planning to resurrect the doomed idea of a dinosaur theme park. This sequel is really, really silly and has some pretty hard to swallow moments but, if you’ve read the books, there are some great sequences lifted and copied almost verbatim. However, that doesn’t make it better.  Normally, I would say Skip It but with the third and the first film available (but no Jurassic World), I’d say marathon them and Check It Out!

Jurassic Park III (March 1st) – This entry into the franchise is probably the lowest point as it is revealed that there is another secret island where dinos were created and more survival action ensues. It’s clear that this film is basically is jumping the prehistoric shark but it has some cool dino moments. Why not binge them all and Check It Out!

Kung Fu Panda (March 1st) – In 2008, DreamWorks launched a franchise (that has spawned several sequels) about a bumbling Panda voiced by Jack Black who is prophesized to be the chosen one.  It’s DreamWorks so it isn’t as deep or as well written as other animated films but it’s pretty funny and entertaining. I’d say Check It Out!

Memento (March 1st) – The amazing Christopher Nolan created this incredibly unique neo-noir thriller about a man who suffers short term memory loss and is desperately trying to piece together who attacked him and killed his wife. It’s a tremendous film that sadly, because of its nature, kinda loses its luster after repeat viewings. Still, if you haven’t seen it, I’d say Check It Out!

Nacho Libre (March 1st) – The director of Napoleon Dynamite and Gentlemen Broncos (a movie I highly suggest, by the way), brought us Jack Black as a priest who wrestles as a masked luchador. Believe it or not, it’s loosely based on a true story.  It’s not the funniest thing I’ve seen but it has its moments. Still, I’d just say Skip It.

The Craft (March 1st) – What could go wrong with 4 teenage girls playing with sorcery? That’s basically what this film, that went on to become a cult classic, asks. The people who love this movie love it in a big way. I’m not really a fan of it because it starts to lose its decent premise and dark comedy styles as the plot treads forward. If you’re one of those people who constantly talks about being a 90s kid and haven’t seen this one, I’d say Check It Out.

This Is Spinal Tap (March 1st) – Quite possibly the quintessential and one of the funniest mockumentaries ever made. This film tells the tale of a rock band and lampoons all the tropes of musical stardom. This Is Spinal Tap is incredibly made, terrifically performed by hysterical performers and absolutely hilarious. This is a Must See!

Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny (March 1st) – This fictitious re-imaging of how Jack Black and Kyle Gass got together to form Tenacious D involves them claiming a mystic pick that is said to be made from the Devil’s very horn. It got mixed reviews when it came out in 2006 but I really enjoyed it. I think it’s very funny and offers up some great music from the duo. I’d say Check It Out!

The Waterboy (March 8th) – It’s kinda easy to rip on Adam Sandler because his movies are really bad but there’s no deny that he has his fan base. This 1998 comedy sees him as a Southern with a love for hydration but, as it turns out, is really good at tackling people. Despite his mother’s reservations, he ends up joining the university’s failing football team and goes from zero to sports hero. It’s a pretty dumb movie with lots of terrible jokes but, I’ll admit this, I do find it kinda amusing. However, it was one of those features that was funnier at the time and is now something that is kinda unbearable in almost all forms.  I’d say Skip It!

Million Dollar Baby (March 13) – Before Clint Eastwood went on to become the man that reminds you of your racist grandpa, he directed a sports drama in 2004 about a boxer trainer who helps a young woman achieve her dreams of boxing professionally. It’s an incredibly dramatic and, when considering the ending, a bit of a shocking film that is worth the viewing. I’d say Check It Out!

Disney’s Pete’s Dragon (March 14) – A re-imaging of one of Disney’s older films, the updated version about a boy and his pet dragon contains a great cast and tells a very emotional and sweet story. Add in some great special effects for the dragon and you have one of those movies overflowing with that signature Disney magic. I’d say Check It Out!

Coraline (March 16th) – Children’s stories of old were no stranger to getting dark and terrifying but we’ve moved away from that. Leave it to Neil Gaiman to reclaim that spirit with Coraline, a tale of a little girl who finds a fascinating but deeply sinister secret world. Simply put, this stop-motion animated adaptation of his story is simply amazing. Not only is the story fantastic and contains some great voice acting, it was also the launching pad of Laika—the folks who craft some of the most jaw-dropping stop-motion animation in all of existence. I would say this one is a Must See!

Déjá Vu (March 24th) – There’s one thing you can count on when you see that Denzel Washington is going to be in a movie and that is he will be amazing. He’s not always in great movies but he is always great in them. This is one of those cases where he’s in a pretty lackluster film but he still gives it his all. He stars as an A.T.F. agent who uses experimental tech to travel back in time to try and uncover the man responsible for a terrorist attack. It sounds cool in theory but was a pretty messy film. I’d say Skip It!

Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (March 24th) – While it isn’t the first time live action and animation were used together on screen, this one certainly showed how well it can be done. In a world where cartoons and real-life people exist together, one cartoon rabbit is accused of a high-stakes murder and only one down-on-his-luck detective can save him. It was amazing when it came out in 1988 and it’s still amazing now. This is a MUST SEE!

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (March 26th) – Wes Anderson can be an acquired tasted and his film about an oceanographer played by Bill Murray and based on Jacques Cousteau that is out for revenge on a shark that ate his partner perfectly embodies what makes him a unique and quirky director. I’d say Check It Out!  

Additional Movies (That I Haven’t Seen) Released in March

March 1st
Chicago (2002)
Deep Run (2015)
Friday After Next (2002)
Impossible Dreamers (2017)
Know Your Enemy – Japan (1945)
Let There Be Light (1946)
Midnight in Paris (2011)
Nazi Concentration Camps (1945)
Rolling Stones: Crossfire Hurricane (2012)
San Pietro (1945)
Singing with Angels (2016)
Sustainable (2016)
Slums of Beverly Hills (1998)
The Memphis Belle: A Story of a Flying Fortress (1944)
The Negro Soldier (1944)
Thunderbolt (1947)
Tunisian Victory (1944)

March 4th
Safe Haven (2013)

March 7th
Amy Schumer: The Leather Special (Netflix Original)

March 8th
Hands of Stone (2016)

March 9th
Thithi (2015)

March 10th
Burning Sands (Netflix Original)
The Boss’ Daughter (2016)

March 13th
Must Love Dogs (2005)

March 14th
Jim Norton: Mouthful of Shame (Netflix Original)

March 15th
Disney’s The BFG (2016)
Notes on Blindness (2016)

March 17th
Deidra & Laney Rob a Train (Netflix Original)
Marvel’s Iron Fist Season 1 (Netflix Original)
Naledi: A Baby Elephant’s Tale (2016)
Pandora (Netflix Original)

March 18th
Come and Find Me (2016)

March 21st
Ali & Nino (2016)
Another Forever (2016)
Evolution (2015)
Fire at the Sea (Fuocoammare) (2016)

March 23rd
Welcome to New York (2015)

March 24th
Felipe Neto: My Life Makes No Sense (Netflix Original)
Spider (2007)
The Square (2008)
The Most Hated Woman in America (Netflix Original)

March 25th
The Student Body (2017)
USS Indianapolis: Men of Courage (2016)

March 28th
Jo Koy: Live from Seattle (Netflix Original)

March 31st
4 (Netflix Original)
FirstBorn (2016)
Five Came Back (Netflix Original)
GLOW: The Story of the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling (2012)
The Discovery (Netflix Original)

And there ya have it!  I know I plan on binging all of Iron Fist in preparation for the release of The Defenders and I think I’ll have to check out the documentary about GLOW—since there is a Netflix series about that coming soon, too. Beyond that, there are plenty of other bits to check out and originals to give a shot to. Enjoy your March everyone and I’ll see you with more Netflix info before April hits. Now, my friends, go forth and stream!

Rev. Ron is a writer, performer, avid comic book fan, movie nut and someone who just realized that the Large Marge he was with was her ghost.  You can check out his blog at for various reviews he writes on the films he’s watching and you can follow him on Twitter (@RevRonster).