My Birthday/Christmas List

Every year I put up my Birthday and Christmas list to give the entire internet the opportunity to buy me the things I deserve. I understand it might be hard buying for someone like me, because you want to make sure I’ll appreciate the gifts and I’m a hard person to shop for. I mean, it’s not like I don’t deserve the meager things I ask for, considering how I provide you with so much free entertainment. Remember, if you should probably coordinate with each other so you don’t double up on gifts. That’s just embarrassing.

Now these items are ranked by desire, so please keep that in mind.

1. Rock Band 3 with Keytar

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If you know me at all, you know that I need Rockband 3 with keytar. This one really is a no-brainer. If you get this for me, I promise that I’ll let you watch me play. For reals!

2. Robot Woman

realdoll01

My love life has gotten rather complicated lately. To help me sort out this crazy thing called life, I think a robot woman would really help me out. Sure a Real Doll might work, but my preferred synthetic woman would make me a sandwich after I was done making sweet, sweet love to her. Oh and she should probably be self cleaning.

3. Money


Did I ever mention what kind of financial nightmare I’m in? No? Well it’s the kind where you where if you’re lucky you’ll wake up with some slashes on your chest and Freddy’s hat next to you. If you’d like to help me eat or have heat this winter, cash is always appreciated. Hit the button above and make a very desperate person a slightly less desperate person!

4. Target Exclusive Retro Style Snowspeeder

targetvintageexclusivesnowspeederI’m a sucker for anything that comes in a box that looks like something I wanted when I was a kid. Just look at this. Isn’t it awesome? Unfortunately this Star Wars snowspeeder is only available in this box at Target, so you get extra points if you score this one.

5. Toys R Us Retro Style AT-AT

atattoysrusvintageexclusiveI realize that not all of you are rich, so this one is not for you if you are having money problems. However, you will get a lot of extra points and will enter the panthon of great gift givers if you manage to bust this one out. The new Hasbro AT-AT is cool and all, but what makes it even better is this awesome box that is only available at Toys R Us. What will I do with the box once the AT-AT is opened? Why, use it to store other Star Wars toys. See, I have a plan to my madness.

6. Halo Warthog

haloreachwarthog3I’m not exactly sure what I’d do with the Halo Warthog when I got it, since I already have so many other toys already and I don’t have really any figures to put on it, but it looks so damned cool that I’d feel that I would be doing myself a disservice for not including it.

7. Jorge

haloreachjorgemcfarlane02The real shame is that the whole team for Halo Reach isn’t currently available. Still, Jorge would make a great addition if I got the Warthog. And you know, other figures like an ODST trooper wouldn’t be that bad of an idea either. Just saying.

8. Star Wars Darth Krayt/Sigel Dare Comic Two Pack

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Ahh, a return from last year. I never saw this in stores, so I was never able to get it for myself. Come one people, don’t make me shame you into getting this for me.

  • These are all useful items that I can see enhancing your life. I’ll send one of each to you.

  • Vincent

    And that’s what makes you a winner, Chris.

  • How about a robot woman that prints money and poops Star Wars and Halo related merchandise? (I guess she could have a Keytar for a leg or something.)

  • Vincent

    Savage, let’s not get silly. We need to have realistic goals here.

  • I’m with you on the retro Star Wars packaging, I want all of it. Up until the recent release of the Vintage Carded figures I had zero interest in ANY Star Wars line. And then I saw Boba Fett … it was love at first sight.

  • Ur Dad

    Well with your admirers buy your birthday/Christmas presents that frees up some cash for you mom and me. Maybe that classic corvette?