Metal Powers Activate!

One of the greatest stories that has never been told is how Journey saved the world during the Great Dinosaur Wars along with the help of REO Speedwagon and Dio. A lesser, yet still great untold story is how this Russian metal band defeated aliens in Siberia. Despite the fact that it was all covered up by the KGB, I think we can infer that something magical and awesome happened based on the album cover alone.

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From bottom right to top, there’s Anton Keeper of the Sword of Light, Oleg the man with super powered triceps, Roman the Hair Bringer, Lyova the Pensive Dreamer, and finally bringing up the rear is Dmitriy with his magical fist of metal (woe betide the alien on the wrong end of that super powered fisting). After defeating the cosmic enemies of Soviet Russian they hopped aboard their magic powered space cruiser to defend the cosmos (often teaming up with Journey in their Space Beetle). Here they are bringing back super powered alien giants to space prison:

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I salute you, Comrades. Thank you for keeping Earth safe from the capitalist space alien pig dogs.

  • Am I the only one who thinks that Oleg looks like David Duchovney?

  • Vincent

    Shit, you’re right. Maybe we can get Duchovney to play him in the movie.