Make this Toy: Jones the Cat

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A short while ago my girlfriend brought up the idea of a figure of Jones aka Jonesy the cat from Alien (and Aliens) being made into a figure. The next day I tweeted NECA, the company that has a license to make figures based off the Aliens film franchise, that they should do so. Their response was, “Maybe next year.” I want them to turn that maybe into a for sure, so I’m laying out my case why Jones should be immortalized into plastic.

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We first meet Jones in 1977’s Alien. Jones is a crewmember of the Nostromo whose main job is to A. Be cuddly and B. Scare the shit out of the crew. Jones does a great job at both jobs.

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At the end of Alien Ripley displays some common sense and decides to take Jones with her. She puts Jones the cat in a box, but instead of the box acting as a sort of a Happy Meal box for our cat friend, it somehow protects him from the Alien creature who bats it around a little and then gives up. Of course, I may have imagined that last scene. It’s been awhile since I’ve seen Alien. It’s too bad the rest of the crew didn’t have human sized cat boxes to hide in.

Jones and Ripley drift in space for 70 years until they are found by a salvage company in the film Aliens. Luckily for Jones the suspended animation process works on both humans and cats. The last time we see our feline friend, he’s living comfortably in Ripley’s apartment.

What becomes of Jones when Ripley leaves to find out what happened to the colony on LV-426? Well, one must assume that Ripley was smart enough to leave Jones in the care of someone else. I’m only speculating here, but I’m sure Jones lived a long comfortable life while Ripley was forced to star in Alien 3 and Aliens: Resurrection.

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So if NECA Toys did make Jonesy, how would they do it? Well, you’re all going to hate me, but as a toy expert this is exactly how they should do it: SDCC Exclusive. The only realistic way to sell this figure, a cat that comes with a box, is to make it an exclusive. And to save on costs, the cat would probably have to come packed with another figure. Which figure? Easy, an Alien from the first film. They can save on cost by releasing a figure that they already have tooling for as well as making a decent combo. It would be nice if Jones could come with Ripley for mass retail, but getting Sigourney Weaver signing off on a toy is supposedly a difficult thing to do. Instead, you’re more than likely going to have to SDCC this sucker.

And I should get a free one sent to me, since this is my amazeballs idea.

  • Lamar The Revenger

    YES YES YES YES!!

  • Aria

    MY amazeballs idea! And Jones should have hissing action!