I Heart Nymphadora Tonks


Now I know I just made a big deal out of having a huge crush on Bellatrix Lestrange from the Harry Potter movies (I say movies, because I don’t believe in reading books), but I realized that there’s another beauty from the Harry Potterverse that has snuck into my heart. Her name is Nymphadora Tonks.

Why her? Well first of all, she’s damned cute. Secondly, she’s not evil. Now I know I’ve made a big deal about how an evil killer would be a great lay, but what are you going to do when you’re not having sex? With some girls who shall not be named they might drone on and on about how Voldemort is the greatest and best Dark Lord of them all, blah blah blah. Nymphadora wouldn’t be like that. She’d be the kind of girl you could hang out with. She’d show you her record collection and perhaps tell you about her photography. You could play some video games together and then maybe go for a tandem bicycle ride. Is that what guys and girls do together? I don’t know, it’s been a very long time since I’ve had a girlfriend.


Sure you say, there’s a lot of girls that are cool to hang out with, what makes Nymphadora so special? I can’t believe you have to ask that question. Her god damned name is Nymphadora, you fool. Obviously, there’s something going on there. And pink hair? That’s like holding up a sign that says, “I enjoy giving bjs.” Is that not enough for you? How about the fact she can change her appearance at will. Yeah, that’s pretty awesome. I can’t imagine a better way to fight boredom than that little trick.

I would be remiss to point out that Nymphadora’s hair style changes rather drastically in the Harry Potter movies. In Half Blood Prince she’s got a Joan Jett kind of thing going on. Not as great as the pink hair, but still a good sign that you’re in for good times. In Deathly Hallows her hair gets a bit more conservative, but that’s cool. It doesn’t have to be all crazy shit with Nymphadora like it is with Belletrix.

Now I’m just praying that Bellatrix doesn’t find out about this. It could lead to a real awkward breakup, or more likely, my own brutal murder.

  • I never knew about her! I’m picking up what you’re putting down. That’s almost enough to get me to watch the movies. Or, I could just walk into any Hot Topic while I’m logged into livejournal on my phone. Both are filled with that chick and her friends. Sadly, it won’t say “Nymphadora” on their birth certificates, though…

  • I’d tonk her.

  • Shawn Pickett

    See, if you read the books, you’d know she was also a metamorph, she can change her appearance any number of ways, hell, at one point she gave her self a pig’s snout (granted, that’s not hot, but if she can alter her facial structure that radically, imagine the possibilities), she is also an auror, which is the wizarding worlds police, also hot.

  • @Shawn Pickett: ah hem. I believe I covered that if you read the post:

    “Is that not enough for you? How about the fact she can change her appearance at will. Yeah, that’s pretty awesome. I can’t imagine a better way to fight boredom than that little trick.”

  • Shawn Pickett

    My apologies, I somehow missed that statement the first time I read through the post. Excellent article.

  • Haha no problem Shawn. Thanks!

  • I wish she had been in the movie just a little bit more – one of my faves

  • I bet she does all sorts of crazy shit in the sack, like putting her fingers in places where they don’t belong, and even though you first resist you kinda learn to like it, and then ask for it, and then beg for it.