For those not in the know, there’s going to be a new G.I. Joe cartoon called G.I. Joe Renegades. Unlike the awesome G.I. Joe Resolute, which was aimed at an older crowd, Renegades looks like it’s meant for kids. That doesn’t mean we can’t judge it as 20 to 30 something year old geeks and dweebs! Our friend Chris Piers of Television Zombies requested my judgment on the character designs of G.I. Joe Renegades, so here we go!
You don’t often see really fat guys in the military.
This just pisses me off. The only reason why this Ripcord is a black dude is because of G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra, the shitty live action G.I. Joe movie. This is just a reminder of the terrible Ripord from that abortion. The Wesley Snipes haircut from Demolition Man, I can’t explain.
I can’t imagine that I’m saying this, but Flint here is pretty good. The only negative is the pants that have pockets next to the ankles. How impractical and highly annoying. “Hang on, I have to reach down my shoes to get my keys.”
It’s incredibly disappointing that Tunnel Rat’s defining characteristics is that he stinks. Maybe it’s because I have a little reverence for Tunnel Rat because his original likeness is based on the the father of G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero, Larry Hama. Tunnel Rat is also one of the few Asians in G.I. Joe (or in a lot of media) that doesn’t know martial arts. It’s a refreshing change. But instead of making a positive Asian character in Renegades, he smells like shit. That’s awesome.
Duke’s not that bad, except for the Fox Racing haircut, the super squinty eyes for no reason, and the boot treads that are impractically huge.
This is a joke right? That horrifically ugly face and stupid tiny hat do not a cool character make. It is also troublesome that it’s General Abernathy and not Hawk. I also hate that ever since Hawk got hurt in the comics, he then had to become partially disabled in the film, so now he’s got a cane in the cartoons.
Not entirely terrible. Though I do wonder why her skin is so pale.
Not bad, not bad at all. I kind of like the metal hinged jaw, which would make a little more sense than a solid metal face that somehow allows him to talk and eat and make facial expressions.
Now I know there’s a lot of haters of the crazy ass look of the original Dr. Mindbender, but what the fuck is going on with these boots? It’s hard to believe that the defining visual characteristic is oversize work boots. It’s like they weren’t even trying.