The above video is from an IGN series called Geek Love. Watch it and then read my priceless advice.
So the guy in Episode 1 of Geek Love is a real nice dude, but unfortunately he’s got no fucking clue. He’s not a terrible looking guy, he seems sweet, he just doesn’t know what he’s doing. Therefore, I’m going to throw my tips out there to maybe help him and other geeks like him, maybe you if you’re a loveless sack of crap too!
What makes me qualified to give out this kind of advice? While I haven’t had a ton of relationships (about eight depending on how you define the term), I overcame my crippling geekiness and shyness to have dates, long term relationships, and even a marriage! Hell, I’ve even had to turn ladies down! I like to think I’ve done pretty well for myself. It pains me to see the lonely guys like our friend in the video. I could have been this dude!
1. Your Whole Self Identity Doesn’t Have to Be Just Geek Stuff
I get it, being a geek is awesome. Be who you are, that’s how I roll. However, when you’re looking for love and geek stuff is all you’re about… you need to cast a bigger net. You have to relate to people on more than just the one level.
Imagine a guy who is really into sports. All he wants to do is talk about sports. His entire living space is dedicated solely to his favorite teams. What does he wear all the time? Sports jerseys! Liking sports is 100% more socially acceptable than being a geek (as dumb as that is), but the field of women that would put up with our sports dude example is rather narrow in the great scheme of things. Same for geek stuff.
I’m not saying try to appeal to a non-Geek. Dating a normie can be the worst. No, at the very least try to appeal to a girl who might not necessarily be a geek herself, but one that is understanding of your hobbies. You might even lure her into becoming a full fledged geek down the road (that’s called turning them out). However, you’re not going to attract one of these “on the bubble” kinds of girls just throwing all that shit in her face at once.
Essentially, when you’re just starting to date someone they’re looking for a reason to ditch you. Okay, maybe that’s the jaded way to look at it, but most people will be on their guard looking for some quirk or flaw before they’re drawn in further. Once you get past the first stages, you can bring the things out more as you go along. It’s like getting into a tub of hot water, ease into it.
Try some other hobbies out. Learn to play guitar or buy a motorcycle, ladies love that shit, even the geeky ones. In my case I am a huge geek, but I’m also really good at sex. See, I’m not just a one dimensional person.
*Of course there girls that will be totally down with everything from day one. But they’re rare and you don’t know if she will be right away. It’s best to play it safe until this type reveals herself.
2. Stop with the Brony Bullshit
Like My little Pony all you want, but come on already! Look, there’s only so many girls in the world that will understand your love for My Little Pony and I’d be willing to wager that most of them are either taken or complete unfuckables. Maybe over time tell them how much you like the show and a few dates later when she sees your pad you can show her the figures, but identifying so strongly with a show made for little girls right off the bat… that’s not going to sound very attractive to most female types.
3. Move Out of Your Parent’s House
Guys, don’t live at home when you’re legally allowed to vote. Women like men who have some measure of success, even if it’s just a tiny bit of it. Living at home does not scream that you can be successful or that you have your shit together. I’m willing to bet that the girl in the video that “friended” him at the end was really turned off by the fact he lived with his parents.
Time to grow up and move out. It’s pathetic when you live at home. Of course there are certain exceptions like the fact you might be going to college and can’t afford rent or there’s also financial destitution. In fact, I had to move back home for a summer after losing my job in California. While it was nice to spend time with my family, I felt like a huge loser. First chance I got, I was back on my own and banging broads left and right. Just kidding. And the term “broads” is offensive. It’s “chicks”.
And seriously, living with your parents is just furthering a huge stereotype about us geeks.
4. Tune it Up, Tubby
Fun Fact: Women like muscles way more than flabby man tits. Yeah yeah, I know you’re all pissed at me now. Big is beautiful blah blah. Well guess what? Not only would our friend Alex be doing something for his health, he’d be doing something for his self esteem. That double chin isn’t helping him. I’m not saying he’s got to have a sex V, just tighten it up a bit. He can still be a big guy, but be a bit healthier. Hit the gym, cut some calories and in almost no time you’re dealing with a slightly leaner geek lady attracting machine.
Maybe on his quest for fitness he’ll realize he likes swimming, weight lifting, karate, or any number of activities you can do to get a bit more trim. There’s one extra non-geek related activity for your interests. BAM!
5. Get Out of the Friend Zone
You know, I’ve had a hard time coming up with solutions with this one. I think part of it is that the only times I’ve found myself in this zone is when I haven’t signaled romantic intentions early enough. If you find yourself in this predicament there’s a few things that can put you in this box. Lots of times the woman just isn’t attracted to you. Can’t do much about that, move on to the next girl.
Another thing that will put you in that friend category is being way too nice. Don’t be a damned door mat by always being at her beck and call. This used to be a big problem of mine. I went way out of my way for girls, in particular an ex girlfriend hoping that she’d take me back. Man, I was a chump. Basically, you’re letting yourself get taken advantage of and the person won’t respect you. How can a girl like you if she doesn’t respect you? You don’t have to be a dick exactly, but you don’t always have to answer the phone right away, text back immediately, be available every time she asks if you want to do something.
One thing I noticed in the start of the video is when the girl asks him what his ideal woman was, he said her but less crazy. Seems like a passive aggressive way to tell a girl you like her. Just balls out tell her if she doesn’t know already. And if she does know you like her but just wants a friend grow some balls and stop hanging out with her. Move on. It’s super unhealthy to carry a torch for a girl while continuing to spend time with her.
6. Lose the Chops
Some dudes pull off mutton chops. This guy does not. Our geek hero has too much face at the moment to pull this one off. It is not good.