Five Reasons Why Star Wars: The Clone Wars Rules

I finally got around to seeing Star Wars: The Clone Wars this last weekend. I was afraid that even though it had all the elements of things I liked, that I’d hate it since it’s the cool thing to do. Well, I surprised myself with how much I did like it. Maybe it was due to lowered expectations, but it worked for me. It isn’t without it’s problems by any means there were some annoying bits, but nothing I couldn’t get over. Hell, Ziro the Hutt is much less offensive than Maggie Gyllenhaal’s face in The Dark Knight. Anyway, I’m sick of reading how retarded it is when I enjoyed it so I put together this here short list of why Star Wars: The Clone Wars rules.

1. Anakin isn’t a Whiny Jerkbag.

Say what you will about how stiff the characters are and how bad the voice acting is, this Anakin Skywalker is a cool, competent and not a whiny character unlike how he’s presented in the prequels. Even the earlier Clone Wars cartoon failed to show him as a truly likable character. You can finally see just why Obi-Wan would be friends with him. This movie performed the unthinkable… I actually like Anakin Skywalker now.

2. Battles that Go to Jizz Factor 11.

Seriously, the battles rule. I could watch clone battles for at least three hours with no story. I guess that makes me low brow or easily entertained. So be it. Both the ground battles and the space battles were stunning.

3. Clone Troopers are people too.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars shows clones, especially the regular troopers, as more than just cannon fodder. In addition to the clones being deeper, Captain Rex gives Boba Fett a run for his money in the badassary department.

4. No Jar Jar Binks

Sure, there are some silly antics from the battle droids (with at least one truly funny moment), but at least there’s no Jar Jar Binks. It’s funny how people whine and complain about George Lucas not listening to fans, but the resounding cry against Jar Jar is the only reasonable explanation of why almost everyone’s most hated alien isn’t in this thing. Will he show up in the regular series? Probably, but at least they left him out of this.

5. Asajj Ventress is hawt.

While Asajj Ventress was cool in the original Clone Wars cartoon she didn’t do much other than be angry and try to kill Anakin. She was also freakishly ugly. This film makes Ventress a force to be reckoned with and someone who is oddly sexy to boot.

  • Great list!! I thought the same thing. While there were a few annoying parts, they were outweighed by how awesome some of the other parts of the movie were.

  • “Hell, Ziro the Hutt is much less offensive than Maggie Gyllenhaal’s face in The Dark Knight”

    Please open a can of Shut the Hell Up and drink it. Drink it up.

  • Vincent

    You think Maggie Gyllenhaal is hot in that film? Dude her nose is so disturbingly gross.

  • Mags is havin’ my love child, you monster.

    Your list rules btw. And whoa… I totally got blog rolled without having to beg. You honor me, good sir. I shall name my love-child after you.

  • Mark

    I still have to see it, but I think it wil be good.

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  • MadMike R5D4

    I concur with Great White Snark; Maggie Gyllenhall is hot and a good actress, if you think she’s ugly Vincent, I wouldn’t mind seeing what YOU look like, ya useless fanboy wanker.