It’s true.

Read on to see how that goes for them and how the Autobots handle the same problem.

The Autobots soon reach the same asteroids but Cerebros opts to go around. In a funny bit of animation, Fortress flies up to the asteroid path, turns, and drives parallel to them.

Still true.

Meanwhile, Scorponok gets pelted with astroids so badly that Zarak falls out of his high chair/command throne. Sixshot helpfully catches his leader.

Got you, baby!

Aaaand is promptly yelled at for his obvious good advice earlier.

He’s a cranky little baby!

Back on Fortress, Wheelie and Daniel waste time not helping. On top of that, Wheelie is goading Daniel to check out an off-limits area: one of the laser emplacements. Guys, at least not now. Just… stay out of trouble for an hour.

All sorts of cool things go on in there. Don’t tell your Dad.

Daniel is reluctant but Wheelie offers him the reassurance that he’ll protect him. I’ve never seen Wheelie do a single thing to help protect Daniel. I’ve seen the opposite a handful of times. Daniel, stop listening to this walking nightmare.

You need a massage. You’re tense.

Daniel walks into the laser area and an asteroid hits Fortress, causing the area to seal itself off. Wheelie fails to do the one thing he JUST promised to do.

OopsTooLateOhWellWhat’sForDinner

Zarak wants to capitalize on this but he does it in a strange way. Instead of using Scorponok’s powerful weapons, he orders Sixshot to fly over there and continue to attack. Sixshot reluctantly obeys, because that’s the kind of ninja he is.

How would that be better than using Scorponok’s weapons?

As Sixshot attacks Fortress, both ships are caught in space tornadoes. What’s that? There’s no such thing? Why? Just because it’s an airless vacuum without moisture and temperature changes that create such a thing? Well, you’d be wrong because as you can see in the animation there IS such a thing.

All that whirling air in space causes tornadoes from time to time.

Highbrow points out that there’s a damaged laser emplacement. Cerebros has to make a quick decision. It’s a great one.

I bet Highbrow knows Daniel is in there.

Ha ha ha. You lose, Daniel.

The laser room and Sixshot are both sucked into those tornadoes. Zarak makes the odd decision to just give up on his best warrior, the guy he trusts with any important job.

But… he’s your best warrior…

The Autobots are about to continue in swift pursuit when Wheelie runs in to tell them that they just ejected Daniel. Even though Earth and its billions are in danger, Cerebros knows what their priority is. Saving Daniel who got himself into this mess.

You’re a terrible leader.

The Targetmasters show the only brains, suggesting they fly ahead to continue pursuit of Scorponok. So the cars with guns fly after bad guys through space, which on the sliding scale of reality this show uses almost makes sense.

And remember to bring your guns, which like to sit on your shoulder!

Those tornadoes pull Sixshot and Daniel to a planet, which we’re told is a living being. A living planet! That has some potential. Get your hopes up!

Looks like a dead moon to me.

They both land a-ok because entering a planet’s atmosphere is no biggie for someone as cool as Daniel. And would you look at that, Sixshot even knows who he is.

I hear you’re terrible.

Daniel is understandably hesitant to trust him, but Sixshot assures him he doesn’t kill kids. You see, Sixshot is the honorable Decepticon (seriously). Didn’t Sixshot try to kill Daniel’s father a handful of episodes ago, during that fake peace treaty?

I carry them to murder your robot friends.

Daniel ignores this olive branch. It’d be a more accurate metaphor to say that he snapped it and threw it on the ground and stomped on it. I dunno, Daniel. Your options are pretty limited. Maybe not the time to smack away a helping hand. To Sixshot’s credit, he’s not going to waste any time trying to convince Daniel and walks away.

Seriously. I give Sixshot props on this one.

But then the ground spits out a rock monster that attacks Daniel and Sixshot turns around and blasts it. He puts together that if this planet has rock monsters it has to be the famous planet Daira that we’ve never heard about. That famous planet.

I want to meet the asshole who names these planets.

Sixshot decides to fly away but he crashes into a forcefield. A forcefield that looks like a pretty rainbow. I guess the planet can make those.

Where are the Care Bears when you need them?

Sixshot and Daniel decide to just sit. Sixshot asks Daniel if he has any food and Daniel glumly answers that he has space food. That’s what he calls it. It wasn’t made or harvested in space but it was meant to be eaten in space so to him it’s space food. I bet he calls his allowance “future monies.”

It’s called frozen Tang.

Sixshot advises him to eat up because he needs to be strong to survive on this planet. So Sixshot is either thinking they’ll be hear for a VERY long time or he doesn’t understand how humans work.

He’s planning long-term!

Staring at his food, Daniel flashes back to the time he got the food. His mom made it and offered it to him. Obviously a really important memory to dwell on right now.

Never trust a cook that says they put “goodness” in the food.

Daniel makes a small effort to bridge the gap and tells Sixshot that he’s a good person because he saved Daniel from the rock monster. Sixshot seems pretty shocked by this.

Everyone on this show loves Daniel.

But before we can get into any real character development, more rock monsters decide to attack! Maybe they were listening the whole time and got bored. They don’t like any awkward silences.

Make toys of these guys.

Meanwhile, the Autobots have been following the trail of the space whirlwind and then decide that instead of continuing to follow it, their best option is to enter it and let it take them wherever Daniel might have been taken. They acknowledge that this would be super dangerous and still decide it’s their best option.

It’s way up there, alongside fighting monsters and getting blasted with cosmic radiation.

Wheelie is worried about his friend so Cerebros commands him to pray.

Pray! That’s an order!

Speaking of bad plans, Sixshot has one. He thinks that to escape the planet, maybe they’ll have to destroy it. That’s like thinking the best way to escape prison would be to set off a nuclear bomb in your cell because then the prison wouldn’t be there anymore.

The worst plan ever.

Daniel resorts to his usual crying. He’s learned nothing about toughening up. This week, it’s Sixshot’s turn to tell him to man up a little.

Keep Calm and Trust the Decepticon.

Daniel sucks up his sniffles and thanks Sixshot. Sixshot is so touched by this, he has a change of heart for the rest of the episode.

You don’t have a heart, Tin Man.

But then things are getting a little too talky so some more rock monsters pop up for Sixshot to smash.

Decent animation.

Meanwhile, the Autobots are getting battered in the asteroid tornado thing. They point out that they need to get out of it if they want to survive. Guys… you just got in it and now you want to get out. I swear, they’re like cats with no pet door. They always want what’s on the other side.

The problems with space tornadoes.

But don’t worry, Fortress displays a new power: the freeze ray. It turns everything into a wall of ice (in space) that they smash their way out of.

They made ice… in the vacuum of space.

The rock monsters realize they keep getting their ass kicked and merge together to form a bigger rock monster. Sixshot gets knocked around by this one a bit.

Robot on monster action, the way you like it!

He uses his ninja abilities to form his multiple forms and blasts away, but he’s not really making any progress. Daniel shoots one small rock monster during all of this.

The rock never had a chance.

Sixshot finally blows up the big one and Daniel hogs equal credit. Sixshot keeps shouting “transform.”

Sure. “We.”

Now that the danger has passed, the Autobots finally show up.

“Oh. My friends didn’t come…”

Sixshot has zero interest in sticking around and flies away. Now that the big rock monster is defeated, apparently the rainbow has gone away. Bye rainbow.

Ok, see ya buddy.

The Autobots pick up Daniel and return to chasing the Decepticons. But it is Daniel who has the most salient observation: war is bad.

Wise words from a moron.

Tune in next time when there’s more war! Explosions! Punches! RARRGHHH!!!

*crickets chirping*

The Autobots are having a quiet conference. But if you read on, I promise there will be punches and blasters.

While the Autobots debate whether the Decepticons are still around or what they could be up to, Wheelie and Daniel play a videogame. They both lose. This show really has no problem letting the good guys lose.

No, you are just bad at everything.

At the conference room table, Highbrow suggests that the Decepticons will need energy so maybe they’ll blow up Earth to harvest the plasma energy that would create. Everyone acts like this guess makes all the sense in the world.

Total speculation. The Decepticons could want to blow up the planet you’re on right now for all you know.

The Targetmasters act like that shield the Decepticons got last week isn’t that big of a deal. They want to lure the Decepticons into space and pick them off until Scorponok and his shield is the only one left. It makes some sense. I really like that the other Targetmasters and their gun allies just sit around or fold their arms casually to back up their leader, Point Blank (who I almost always start typing as Point Break).

I mean, it’s only been the Decepticon’s big plan for the last 10 or so episodes.

Cerebros is interested in this “luring into space” plan but the Headmasters really try their best to cock-block it.

Every Autobot repeats the previous one’s statement. They have terrible hearing.

Chromedome’s big argument is that in space the Decepticons will escape. Point Blank is like, “no, we’ll crush them, not let them escape.” It’s just a bunch of cross-shouting. Maybe Cerebros should just start dictating plans like Optimus Prime used to do. Shit got done back then.

“Crush” is totally different from “let escape.” Open your ears.

Cerebros gives the Targetmasters the go-ahead to set up their plan and the Headmasters run away in a huff. Chromedome tells his comrades to follow him. The Headmasters are reallllly into showing the Targetmasters that they’re better than them. I think it’s what they care about the most.

Or maybe you should let the robots with proven battle experience tell you what to do?

Chromedome takes them to their old allies, the tiny Transformers that live on planet Master. He took them there right from that meeting so I guess he already had a plan and whether it got approved or not, he was gonna do it. So here we go. Also? Why doesn’t Hardhead remember their allies? The Headmasters are FROM planet Master. Chromedome remembers them. I’m worried about Hardhead.

You know them. They’re who we’re defending. We used to live with them.

Far from being concerned about his friend’s almost-definite learning impairments from battle, Chromedome tells him to stop fooling around and listen to his great plan.

Fooling around? Jesus, that’s harsh.

Meanwhile, the Decepticons are hanging around somewhere or other on the planet and Zarak tells his warriors to conserve energy because they’re low. Also, I hear the gas prices are through the roof and I doubt Sixshot is very energy-efficient.

If they obey, it will be a dull episode.

The Targetmasters climb a mountain in hopes of finding the Decepticons. They forgot that they can fly. And on top of that, we see the Decepticons spying on them from the ground the whole time. This show has no problem making the heroes look a bit dumb.

Flying robots doing some rock climbing.

Sureshot ends up falling all the way off the cliff like Wile E. Coyote. But don’t worry. He’s fine. Galvatron was defeated by an iceberg falling on top of him, but Sureshot can fall for a damn mile and just shake it off. It’s a sliding scale.

He fell off a cliff, dude. Give him a sec.

Chromedome explains his plan to lure the Decepticons not into space (which would be ridiculous) but into the clouds (which is much more sensible). His planet Master allies, including the robot named Kirk, are behind him on this. Yup. Chromedome’s ally is named Kirk. There are other tiny robots that I can only assume have names like Hank and David.

Like, way behind. Miles away from us.

To illustrate his plan, Chromedome opens some delightful colonial-style window shutters to show the other Headmasters where they’ll lure the Decepticons.

Nice window shutters.

His plan is to take them into clouds where he assumes the Decepticons will lose their bearings and be helpless. So it makes a lot more sense than outer space, as long as the Autobots have some sort of cloud-cancelling radar. The Autobots never mention such a device, but this is their plan so I’m sure they have one.

Place your bets on how well this will work.

The Autobots haven’t heard from the Targetmasters in a while but a scout ship piloted by their allies updates them on what happened to the Targetmasters. Chromedome guesses the Decepticons must be based near there so they prepare to enact his cloud-plan.

Just some more accurate guessing.

Meanwhile, the Targetmasters are fighting back against the ambush. In the best moment of the episode, all 3 of them drive over Mindwipe.

This is only 1 of 3 cars that does this to him in a row. It’s awesome.

The Headmasters are extra confident that their plan will work because the Decepticons are low on energy. It makes sense. So… get going guys. You have your plan. Let’s not waste much more daylight.

You don’t have the best track record lately…

The Decepticons don’t chase the Targetmasters because they are low on energy and return to a cave to report to Zarak. Sixshot assures him that they can still “repulse” the Autobots.

Wait till they see how dirty my kitchen is.

Zarak announces his plan is to strike at the center of the main city on planet Master. I don’t see how that helps him conserve energy or get to planet Earth to blow it up. I… I think Zarak might be making this up as he goes along.

Not much of a plan. Not even a “to do” list really.

On the way back to Fortress, the Targetmasters notice a lot of gun emplacements manned by planet Master Transformers and guess that Chromedome is up to something. They tell Cerebros who decides to communicate with Chromedome telepathically. The Autobots should really invest in some cell phones.

Most Autobots transform into vehicles. Cerebros turns into a head that can work like a walkie talkie.

Chromedome lets his boss know that, yeah, he’s hanging with his allies elsewhere. As in, he’s not ON YOU, Cerebros/Fortress.

Brain freeze.

Scroponok bursts up through the city and the Decepticons back him up. Sixshot tells the Decepticon Targetmasters to chill out with the shooting and to conserve energy. They pretty much ignore him completely.

The next gas station is 30 miles away!

Chromedome and the Headmasters show up at the city to help out but it’s already ruined. Chromedome mutters about how he did everything he could to defend the city. Yeah, except for stay on Fortress so that you were by the city to defend it. Aside from leaving it to do your own thing, you really helped.

Everybody gets in a big fight and Mindwipe accidentally hypnotizes Skullcruncher. It seems to give him the robot version of Bells Palsy.

He didn’t do well on his SATs.

In your token slapstick moment, Weirdwolf walks over and kicks Skullcruncher for falling asleep on the job.

Your slapstick for this episode.

The Decepticons seems to have the upper hand but the planet Master Transformers are pecking away at Scorponok in their little planes. Weirdwolf acts like a 50s tough guy and tells those Autobot punks that they’ll finish them later! The Autobots presumably start panicking and leaking oil everywhere.

Future Greasers.

Now that the planes are luring Scorponok into the clouds, Chromedome’s plan is in full effect. The Headmasters gang up to tackle Sixshot so that he can’t help Scorponok. He doesn’t bother to transform but rather laments that he has been held back at such an inopportune time. I think he could struggle harder so I think Sixshot’s heart isn’t as into the fight as it used to be. I hope he gets the help he needs.

Body massage.

While the little planes corral Scorponok into the clouds, Daniel and Wheelie stand on Fortress and cheer Chromedome on. That’s their contribution this week. At least they didn’t actively get in the way or get kidnapped.

Daniel and Wheelie help out.

Scorponok then decides to fly into thick cloud cover and the Autobots lose track of him. Congratulations, Autobots. You just let Scorponok use your own plan against you. The one you took all that time preparing for. What exactly were they doing during that prep time? Painting the window shutters?

That was supposed to be YOUR plan.

Scorponok emerges from the clouds and lays waste to all the planes. It’s such a holocaust of annihilation that the animation transitions to paintings, something they only do when shit gets serious.

Violence so extreme the animation turned into a painting.

Cerebros’ plan of counter attack? “Big mode” which probably means something more innocent than where my dirty mind goes.

Time to chub up!

Cerebros transforms into Fortress Maximus but this time his master sword is met by the Zarak shield and Scorponok gets the upper-hand, knocking him down. But then Fortress Maximus remembers that he’s COVERED IN GUNS and shoots Scorponok in the groin with his knee guns. Knee guns, everyone. Get on that.

Fortress shot him with his knee.

Scorponok then just sort of gives up, most likely because the episode is almost over. He even helpfully tells Fortress Maximus that he’ll see him on Earth! I understand taunting, but you aren’t obligated to tell your enemy what your next move is.

I’ll spare your life because there are 4 more episodes to go!

Point Blank confronts Chromedome over his (terrible) strategy, pointing out that hundreds of planet Master citizens are now dead. The planes were shot down (even poor Kirk) and the city is in shambles. Chromedome argues that his plan was a sure thing but we’ve all seen how it played out so I don’t know why he’s lying to himself about this.

It never came close to succeeding.

Point Blank strangles him and tries to knock some sense into Chromedome that he needs to consider everyone. Chromedome forgets that he can detach his head from his body.

A great working relationship on display.

But then Kirk walks up. He survived! And he defends Chromedome saying that he knew what the risks were and they made their own adult decision to go along with Chromedome’s plan. Oh! In your face, Point Spanked!

Clean yourself up, Kirk.

If that isn’t worth a handshake, I don’t know what is. Kirk? Chromedome?

Cuuuuute.

The Autobots should REALLY be getting to Earth, though.