Elder Scrolls: Oblivion=RPG Rapist

You're doomed, fancy armor man! Doooomed!

You're doomed, fancy armor man! Doooomed!

I really enjoy the occasional RPG video game, it’s hard to beat the kind of feeling an RPG gives you when your a bad ass cracking orc heads. Since I detest Japanese RPGs, I’m limited to Western based games simply because I love their more open-ended nature. That, and I hate androgynous heroes and tons of pointless exposition. Anyway, I loved Dragon Age and I was kind of excited to play Oblivion because it promised an even more open-ended experiece. And it does, but it also loves to rape me.

When I first started playing the game and was getting killed by practically anything I encountered: Goblin=Death, Rat=Death, Slightly Stale Beer=Death. I figured that I would get past this constant death after I leveled up.  I’m a low level character. I mean, I couldn’t be that bad at an RPG, since I’ve played through a bunch of them before. So after using low level spells a shit ton of times, I leveled up and I was ready to take on the world around me.

Well here’s how the game really gives you the shaft: it automatically levels up the enemies when you level up. What the fuck is that? Yeah, there’s a few enemies around that are weaker than you, but there are many that you should steamroll, but they’ve become tougher. Add the old enemies who are now more powerful to a shit ton of new and dangerous opponents and leveling up is practically pointless. Hurray! I have more skills and can cast more powerful spells to be killed just as easily as before!

Look, I’m not afraid of challenge, but when I can only completely about 1% of quests because I’d be brutally raped, then that’s not a fun game. It’s not unbeatable, but it’s annoying as hell. What’s the worst part of all this? I can’t stop playing!

  • Maybe I should look into this one…

  • Lumiare

    I never had a problem when I played =\

    Then again as soon as I could I made 5 pieces of clothing with a 20% chameleon enchant on them (2 rings, a necklace, shirt and pants), and ran around killing people while I was completely invisible.

    Alternatively, if you want to go warrior max you’re restoration spells skill as well, so you can heal yourself as you go (heavy armor and a good healing spell make you nigh-unkillable).