Digga D’s Dark Horse Saddle Up! The Sexy Clown Boob Edition

Digga D   November 13, 2013   Comments Off on Digga D’s Dark Horse Saddle Up! The Sexy Clown Boob Edition

It’s time to saddle that Dark Horse, because we’ve got another installment of Dark Horse Comics reviews! This time we’ve got space battles, we got Clown boobs, we got fish men, we got illegal alien doctors, and we got atheists shooting guns!

Dark Horse Comics Clown Fatale 1 Cover

Clown Fatale #1

Script: Victor Gischler
Pencils: Maurizio Rosenzweig

Boobs. This story is about a bunch of “too-sexy-to-be-carnies” working as clowns in a circus of ill-repute and boobs. From cover to cover this comic makes no attempt to hide itself as a 12-year-old’s pre-porn comic book of choice. Boobs. So these sexy-clowns are mistakenly contacted to kill a drug-dealer for 50 grand while one of them shows their boobs. Not that the hit has to be done while showing boobs, but they will wear the kinds of shirts that will accentuate their boobs.

I get irreverence. I get Grindhouse. This comic didn’t have that cunning-wink to push it over the top enough to just be a comic book about tits. I should’ve known this comic was going to be sophomoric when one of the female protagonists was wearing a Kiss shirt. I F’n hate Kiss, and this comic reminds me of everything I hate about that band. Hey, these chicks are sluts! Hey these chicks do drugs! Hey these chicks are tough-as-nails, but will still show you their boobs! Hey anything-else-that’s-a-rock-n’roll-fantasy! Rosenzweig’s pencil work is actually very well crafted, but it’s muted by the lack of anything clever, witty, thought-provoking going on in the panels. I can give it props that at least he tried to give a couple of the ladies curves, but without putting anything flabby enough to not be soooo hot dudes! The story was weak sauce. The characters are cliche and not even remotely interesting. Unless you are a teen and have no access to the internet or are afraid of buying porn and need to wank-it to a comic, stay clear. For a book about clowns, this comic is a joke.

Vincent’s Viewpoint: As I wrote last time, I love boobs. Love them so much. But I can’t get into cartoon boobs. I’d rather look at real boobs. Ya dig? So here we are with a completely ridiculous premise that some ultra hot ladies are working as clowns and everyone treats them like dirt, because clowns are at the bottom of the circus food chain. Right. I agree with Digga D on every point he makes on this one.

Dark Horse Comics Abe Sapian 7 cover

Abe Sapien :#7

Story by Mike Mignola and Scott Allie
Pencils and ink Sebastin and Max Fiumara

From the pages of Hellboy and BPRD comes our favorite fish-guy, gilled guy, Abe Sapien. Wow, for jumping in on issue seven, this comic was a ride! So it starts out with Abe in a truck with a couple other humans driving through the desert. Not the most ideal place for our fish-like protagonist. They discuss God and the different creations of the earth before finding a small oasis for Abe to take a dip. Other presumably bad-dudes are attacked by a stray zombie. While talking more about the creation stories, in Mignola style, there’s a giant creature and things get crazy.

I really liked this issue. The pacing and setting reminded me of “No Country for Old Men.” It had a lot of heart and even though it got to a place of action, it had a lot of great heart. The art was AMAZING to boot! MINOR SPOILERS: Abe makes a comment about not wanting to go back to the BPRD because he doesn’t want to just strap on body armor and carry around a weapon. I thought this was really clever and kept the feel alive for this story. I’d probably start at the beginning if you want the full idea, but for now, this was a great read with more feeling that I’m used to from Mignola.

Dark Horse Comics Bloodhound 2 cover

Bloodhound #2

Script: Dan Jolley
Pencils: Leonard Kirk

Last issue we’ve got a tank of a hard-a$$, Travis Clevenger (which now that I read his voice like Brock Sampson), tracking down an exploding man and then finding out there is a doctor who has a chip that can give people super powers. This issue the army wants Clevenger on a leash, but are going to use him to sniff out what’s going on. There’s a bit of detective work with Clevenger and his partner (Saffrom Bell) to figure out who this Dr. Morgenstern is. In the meantime, a high school principal who is concerned with the safety of his students is considering contacting the doctor about powers.

This comic has its ups and downs, but I still want to see where it goes. Clevenger is written still like a guy who’s so tough he poops nails, but they do give him depth with the way he regards his niece and his apparent love of cats. The art is still pretty good, and the story is being well crafted. I wonder how bummed out Jolley is that Agents of Shield is using a lot of the same ideas he’s writing. This story will be far more dark than the ABC primetime family friendly show is, but some of the ideas are there. So far, if you can get past some of the tough guy posturing, this book has surprising depth and might keep being one I will continue to sniff out.

Dark Horse Comics Resident Alien 31 Cover

Resident Alien #3

Script: Peter Hogan
Art: Steve Parkhouse

Purple Alien detective posing as a doctor is going to get to the bottom of this crime. This story is essentially the alien doctor interviewing a female patient in a hospital that has tried to commit suicide after the death of her partner. The story centers around a lesbian as she explains her partner’s death as being a suicide as well. The purple alien then goes to cops and discusses the possibility of her telling the truth that it wasn’t a murder/suicide thing, but a suicide/suicide.

This comic was alright. The love story was believable. The lesbian relationship thing didn’t just seem tacked on, but actually felt honest. It wasn’t just some horn-ball “DUDEZ LETS MAKE EM KISS!” lesbian romp. The art was good for the feel of the book. There’s some interesting stuff going on, but it still is kind of slow. A good slow, but if you are looking for the kind of action normally found in comics, you’ll be disappointed.

Vincent’s Viewpoint: Man, it only took me three issues of this series and I’m hooked. I’m more of a superhero comic guy, but the writing, pacing, and art are all just right for me. It’s not an action comic by any means. Rather, it’s more of a serialized detective story where the government is out to get our detective by any means. Great stuff.

Dark Horse Comics Shaolin Cowboy 2

The Shaolin Cowboy

Art and story by Geoff Darrow
Colors by Dave Stewart

I am going to try VERY hard to not turn this into a gushing review of Geoff Darrow’s art and all that he has done before this. Shaolin Cowboy had a run a couple of years ago and essentially it’s about a monk who doesn’t talk who rides into town and usually trouble finds him. This issue had ABSOLUTELY no words in it. It splash page after splash page of the SC cutting zombies in half with two chainsaws attached to a pole. I mean, I guess you could count the BUBUBBUBUZZZZZZAAGNANANANABBBUZZZ’s at the top of the page to be words, but really, no, it’s just the sound of two chainsaws cutting zombie after zombie in half.

THE ART IS FREAKING AMAZING. There, I got that out of my system. But seriously, Darrow’s attention to detail is stunning. This issue is gory as hell, so even though the name might be a cute title, the book is nothing but blood, gore, naked zombies, guts and cross sections of anatomy. the only thing that bummed me out about this is some panels there would be a zombie crawling towards SC and I’d be pumped to look at how he dealt with it, but then the next page it wasn’t there. That’s it though. One really nice touch is at the top left corner there’s a little fuel gauge that shows you how much the SC has left in the tank of his saws. Seriously, if you are a fan of Darrow’s, this a wet dream. If you are a fan of Dead Alive (the lawn-mower part, you know the one) this book is for you. I know zombies are played out, but this what we’ve been waiting to see.

Vincent’s Viewpoint: Yeah… as it pains me to say this, I just don’t get it. Yeah, the art is great, but a whole comic book of the same thing, panel after panel? It’s certainly ballsy, but on the other hand it makes for a terrible 4 dollar purchase. I realize by saying this I may have invoked the fury of comic nerds everywhere, particularly our pal Matty who is a HUGE Darrow fan. I read the first issue to see if that would get me more into it… nope. That one starts off with a giant chunk of text telling you what happened previously. It’s seriously daunting. That issue ended up being a little more interesting. This one? Eh, it might be cool to see in a collection but as a stand alone comic, no thanks.

Dark Horse Comics S.H.O.O.T. First  2

SHOOT first #2

Story: Justin Aclin
Art: Nicol’as Daniel

Last issue a team of people that make a business of killing spectral forces that make people believe they are images of holy or unholy creatures picked up a new member; a Muslim who is giving up his faith. At the end of the story it turns out that one of the female protagonist’s son is part demon-angel, something. This issue starts out with a little bit of back-story on the dad and then back to the team going to Gaza where terrorists want to parlay with the team, but uses the power of god to smite the group to summon a giant golem out of the pyramids. A battle happens and back on the ship, some drama is a-brewing.

This comic has some pretty clever things going for it. Turns out the guns that the group uses are somehow tied to the rationality of the person using it, and if they begin to believe in the apparitions around them, they don’t work. Such is the reason why everyone is such a staunch atheist, because they have to be. The art is good, and I like the dialogue as well. The characters are getting fleshed out as well. It seems that each character gets their own chance to shine a little bit, which is nice. This comic seems to be able to take it’s time and let things cook for a while. We’ll see what next issue serves up. So far, I’m in.

Vincent’s Viewpoint: I’m still in on this one and I don’t think it’s just because I’m online pals with the writer. The only gripe I have about S.H.O.O.T. First is that it’s a limited series. Justin Aclin has a lot of great ideas that I think would benefit from letting it breathe more through more issues. Dark Horse is doing this series a disservice! Seriously when this series is over, I hope there’s another run. Also love the cover on this one. Art is real solid on this series.

Dark Horse Comics Star Wars 11 cover

Star Wars #11

Script: Brian Wood
Art: Carlos D’anda

I’m not too sure where in the timeline this takes place, because Vader’s alive, so before Jedi (Oh, ah… Spoilers?) But it said they avoided Boba Fett, so after the beginning of Empire, but the Deathstar looks like it’s under construction, so near Jedi, but Han isn’t in carbonite, so not in the beginning of Jedi. So it’s somewhere not mentioned during Empire? Well, Luke and Wedge are in tie-fighters, Leia is coming back to a Rebel Base. Han is off with some blue haired girl. There seems to be a fair amount of building to the finish next issue, because a lot of it was building the house of cards that will fall.

I think I like this? I wasn’t sure. Maybe Vincent knows where this exactly falls, because I had no idea. The art was pretty standard comic book style, but felt true to the story. The pacing seemed to be on point as well as the dialogue. I’m betting there would be a lot more to this if you have kept up with the run… Vincent?

Vincent’s Viewpoint: I got your back here, Digga. I’ve only read about 4 issues of this series, so I’m no expert either. There are some things I like (like the woman that was helping Vader that knew she had to escape once she failed) and the blue haired lady with Han stuff was cool, but then there are things I really don’t like, (like the nonsensical use of one of the head Rebel leaders in an X-wing), and there are things that I’m completely lost on. The art is again strongest on the ships and it’s still worth checking out. I think maybe I need to catch up in trade form to make a final decision on this series. Oh yeah, and the cover art on issue 11 is amazeballs.

Dark Horse Comics X 7 cover

X#7

Story by Duane Swierczynski
Art by Eric Nguyen

This issue of the series is centered around a bunch of cops, that are cobbled together to find this X killer. Apparently X could be a cop, but he could also be at the top of the drug cartel. So these cops, one that has spotted X, a tough school liaison officer, a stone-cold bitch, and a bookwormish smart-ass. This comic kind of had the feel of Gotham cops looking for Batman. This X character may not be as nefarious as the cops believe, but still does not want to be found.

I liked this comic quite a bit. I wasn’t sure about it going in, but from this book, the whole cops looking for Batman feeling I got, was really refreshing and new. Even though this is issue 7, I think this could be an awesome starting point as there is so much mystery revolving around the X killer that it made it pretty fun to read. The art is right on for the style of the book and the dialogue and story were also pretty good too. All the characters felt believable and it ended on a pretty neat cliff-hanger. Also, I’m just going to say it, but X looks like a really cool costumed vigilante. I’m looking forward to next issue and I hope I don’t need to know anything from before this, because I’m enjoying starting right now.


About Digga D

Dark Horse comics has always meant cutting edge adult comics to me. From when I was in fifth grade, rifling through the “mature readers” sections of comic stores and finding Geof Darrow and Frank Miller’s “Hard Boiled” comics I realized that this is what comic books could be. Bringing home issues of Grendel and Aliens and jumping right into a story that I may not get, I knew I loved the concepts and to this day, I think Dark Horse is still pushing the boundaries in the comic book field. With one of my favorite contemporary comics like The Goon, Dark Horse still gives me pause in local comic shops and at least take a look at what they’re doing, just like I did many years ago. I am super excited to read and review this publisher’s comics for Robots Pajamas!