As a lover of all things G.I. Joe, it was a super fun treat when frequent Robot’s Pajamas contributor Chris Piers began coming up with slogans and jingles for completely ridiculous G.I. Joe vehicles. Even better, since Chris is an artist he made one of inventions come to life. I approached several other artists who came up with a few more. I hope you kids enjoy!
Cobra Stilts! Cobra Stilts! When the Commander stomps in, GI Joe wilts!
From Chris Piers
Cobra Water Raft! Cobra Water Raft? Gonna go against that, Sgt. Slaughter? Serpentor thinks you’re daft!
From Nik S.
G.I. Joe Unicycle
Cobra’s coming but Joe’s on the Unicycle! Gonna root out Cobra trash and then recycle!
From Nik S.
“The Cobra Ass with braying donkey action! Mountain Hill playset sold separately!”
From Tom Krone
I’d like to thank the talented artists that contributed to the crazy G.I. Joe vehicle ads. This post is actually really old. It’s been dead for a long time. I originally wanted a lot more pictures to show you, but wasn’t able to get them so I figured I’d share what I had. If you’re an artist type and would like to take a vehicle on, please do so! The rest of the vehicles and their slogans are below!
- Cobra Car! Gonna go fast and far! Make GI Joe run into the tar!
- Cobra Truck! Cobra Truck! GI Joe is out of luck!
- Cobra Golf Cart! Cobra Golf Cart! GI Joe’s in trouble and they’ll have to dart!
- It’s the Dreadnok moped and it’s coming fast. Look out Joe or you’re gonna get dashed!
- Baroness has a pram! Baroness has a pram! What’s inside? Joe better give a damn!
- Cobra’s got a pogo and it’s the lamest shit! It’ll jump up and down and be blown to bits!
- Gung Ho’s making trouble on the Joe skateboard! Gonna whiz past Cobra and be adored!
- It’s the Dreaknok Gocart and it’s quick on the road. Snake Eyes, duck or you’ll be a squashed toad!
- Serpentor chariot! Serpentor chariot! Spins Joe in circles like a lariat!
- Welcome to Springfield, Joes, now you better depart! Cobra gonna run you down in their shopping cart!
- It’s Destro’s Wheel Barrow and it’s moving his weapons! You can’t trust Destro! He’s a known felon!
- “Oy, Zartan! It’s the Joes! Hop on me moped!” “Get us out of here, Buzzer!”
- Cobra Feet gonna beat a hasty retreat when GI Joe attacks with their Q.U.I.K. A.T.A.K. Fleet!