Batman vs. Superman? No Contest!

I hate to rile any fanboys up who probably won’t ever read this blog, but do you know what really grinds my gears? The fact that Batman is always kicking Superman’s ass every single time I’ve seen them fight each other.

I don’t get it.

Yeah, Batman is supposed to be so cool because he’s got all his smarts and his riches and all that, but come on already. You can only be so good at everything without it counting as either a superpower or being completely unrealistic. I get that Batman is very smart and should be able to overcome most if not all of the Justice League. Could he realistically beat Superman in a fight? Maybe once or twice. After that Superman would have to press the advantage. He’s as fast as the Flash for Crom’s sake and he has LASERS IN HIS EYES (yes I know it’s “heat vision” yet it looks a lot like lasers). Superman has so many superpowers, but he’s also no dummy. Batman might have a trick like kryptonite, but the thing is Superman beats villains all the time that use that kind of horseshit.

When Batman beats Superman constantly, it ruins the appeal of the character being a normal guy without super powers. If he can beat the most powerful superhero on Earth, then why does he have any challenge with any villain? The idea that Batman is portrayed as being able to beat overcome any obstacle up to and including always being able to beat Superman ruins the character of Batman. It’s one of the reasons that Superman isn’t as strong as a character in the hands of a bad writer when he’s made overly powerful and has no realistic challenges. Because of fanboys, Batman is equally is boring when he’s portrayed as so epically competent that he can overcome any obstacle.

That’s why I loved the scene in Countdown to Final Crisis where Batman finally got what was coming to him. In one of the many worlds the heroes visit in the series, Batman is the lone superhero left after everyone else retired. Jason Todd, the former dead Robin, teams up with this Batman. In his excitement to kick tons of ass again, Batman jumps in to battle and then this happens:

Oh that’s got to hurt. Sure that’s not really Superman (he’s a version of Superman from yet another Earth), and that’s not the real Batman, but it sure it was friggen sweet.

  • I concur. Dumb ol’ Frank Miller did it and everyone since has aped him, and yes, it’s very tiresome.

  • Jason P

    I want that as a wallpaper: Superman’s fist sticking out the back of Batman’s skull, hehe.

  • Sam

    Well of course Bats beats Supes every time. Supes is too trusting, whereas Bats trusts no one. He keeps a little bit of the big K in his utility belt at all times…in a lead-lined pouch of course.
    Sam

  • Gotham resident 8165

    You’re right. Realistically, if Batman and Superman were to fight….
    yeah, there would be Batman over here, and there, and over there, and there and…. you get the picture.
    A good example of this can be actually be found in ‘Lex Luthor: Man of Steel’ where Superman knocks the stuffing out of Batman.
    in a straight fight, Batman will always lose against the heroes who reach god level powers like Green Lantern, Martian Manhunter, Captain Atom, The Flash, and so on.

    Which is why Batman would never fight fair against them. Superman might be ‘the world’s oldest boyscout’ (I cannot remember where that quote came from) but he is never prepared. Batman is no boyscout, but he is ALWAYS prepared.

  • How is Superman never prepared? He beats major villains that are more powerful than him all the time! Sure he uses his strength to do so, but often he uses his smarts too. He’s no Hulk.

  • I love Superman!! Vincent has a point, if they want to make a realistic fight, then Batman needed to get his ass kick tons of times.. he is human and it doesnt matter how much money he has, he will still be a human.If he wears more weapons and shields, his costumer supposedly will get heavier but i do think it has to do a little bit with the personality of the characters.. Batman is a jerk, even when he is trying to do some good but Superman still believes in people…and maybe that would be a stupid reason to get his ass kick…just saying

  • Princess

    I’m sorry but I just want to point something out.
    That first picture isn’t of Batman fighting Superman it’s Owlman fighting Superman.
    ((Owlman is an evil villain from another earth probably the same one as the evil superman that you have but it could be another one I’m not sure.))

  • neal

    dammit princess that is not owlman! that is batman in automated armor he had made to fight superman in the The dark Knight Returns! and superheroes dont need powers to be amazing, just skills, and batmans skill is being the worlds greatest detective and id say an incredible amount of foresight comes with that! so yeah, batman!

  • bukhari

    realistically superman will always beat batman, few points will suffice.
    1. batman’s gadgets versus superman’s gadgets(fortress of solitude etc,)
    2. superman’s powers against batman’s. superman can hear and sense batman from miles around.
    3. for the stupid writers and fan boys, if batman gets the preparation time, what does superman do plays ping pong at that time.
    4. superman has, sorry used to have super brain, any was he is not a hulk as vincent rightly said.
    5. kryptonite does not overpower power superman in a second, he can use his heat vision to destroy it, and also the kryptonite bullet concept is a bull. it cannot soften superman’s body in less than a second and pierce his skin, it will just break into shards and scatter far away which will in effect is not gonna have any effect at all.

  • Bruce

    if a kryptonite bullet is bull then why does it always work?
    In a straight fight superman would kick batman’s ass all day every day, Bats is human no way around it. But also superman is to trusting of Batman, Batman knows superman would be able to whoop him so he has prepared for every eventuality so he can defeat superman if need be.

  • Luke McIntosh

    Well lets see the top human reflex time compared to at least over the speed of sound (just to be on the safe side).So lets put it like this before batman could even reach for the kryptonite in his belt superman could punch him into the ozone layer case closed.

  • Good one, Luke.

  • bukhari

    nice one Luke! but then again kryptonite takes time to effect. if kryptonite really does work that fast, then, why superman after being shot with kryptonite lasers or is hit by kryptonite powered punches from other superhumman beings doesn’t die in an instant? it cannot work both ways!

  • mason

    I honestly do not like superman as a hero. The only reason he is a hero is because he can’t be hurt by normal means. Superman is so overpowered at times it is ridiculous. I’ll give it to superman that in a straight fight batman would get destroyed, but when would batman show such hubris to think he could take superman in a fist fight? Batman would have all types of contingency plans to fight superman be it a kryptonite ring or some type of technology or magical artifact to help him out.