America Home of the Snacks: Sugar Cookie Pop Tarts and Huge Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups

One Pound of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups

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My girlfriend found this beast at K-Mart. It’s a pound of Reese’s peanut butter cups split up into two giant cups. In the store I thought I read that the calories per serving size were only 180, which seemed really good, until she pointed out that it is actually 1/12 of the package is a serving. Despite the high amount of damage were were going to do to our bodies we each took a cup.

The Captain Kirk glass really compliments the flavors.

The Captain Kirk glass really compliments the flavors.

This Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup is friggen huge. It met every expectation I’ve ever had for a huge peanut butter cup. The chocolate on the edges was a bit much, but to keep that much peanut butter in there, you have to have a thick shell. I was also a bit saddened that the cup wasn’t made out of paper… kind of ruined the effect a little if you were pretending that a regular peanut butter cup was hit by an enlarging ray, which of course I did.

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I hate to disappoint you, but I did not finish this thing in one sitting. So far I’m a little over half way through at two attempts. One more and I can proudly say I’ve eaten a half pound Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup.

Overall, I prefer the smaller peanut butter cups, though this was worth eating for the experience.

Score: 4 heart attacks out of 5

Sugar Cookie Flavored Pop Tarts

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This is why I love this country. The good people who make Pop Tarts weren’t willing to simply make a “pastry” that is shelf stable and can easily be eaten cold or put in a toaster… no, they went the extra mile during the holiday season. They thought… let’s make this thing taste like something else! And both Gingerbread and Sugar Cookie Pop Tarts were born after an acceptable loss of life in the Pop Tarts mines.

And they didn’t stop there! They then went ahead and put pictures of cute animals doing radical stuff on the frosting. All the other countries can suck it. This is what life is all about! Just seeing that beaver snowboarding makes me proud to be alive. The great sum of human achievement can be exemplified by this image on a pastry. It brings a tear to my eye.

And in case you’re wondering about the taste, man I was surprised at how awesome Sugar Cookie Pop Tarts tasted. So delicious. I’m hoping they make a come back next year, because I don’t know how I could go on living if they don’t.

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Score: 5 heart attacks out of 5