A Twinkie by Any Other Name

Hostess Brands Bankruptcy

Oh boy, this was a long time coming. Awhile back I opened up a contest where you could submit poems for a chance to win coupons good towards Hostess products. So then life blew up and the contest fell by the wayside. No longer! What we have here is a fine assortment of Hostess themed poems. Read them and vote for your favorite! The top vote getters will win!

Also, special note: If you entered and don’t see your poem here I may have accidentally deleted it. Please let me know!

Entry 1

Chocolate and Vanilla (with respect to Robert Frost)
by Deric Underhill

Some say their Zinger is brown
Some say it’s yellow
From those tastes of great renown
I hold with said chocolate fellow.
But if it had to be scarfed down
I think I know enough to tell, oh,
To say that for a snack, the crown
Could go to tasty yellow
Were chocolate not around

53-10_WE_C_^_WEDIQ

Entry 2

Untitled
by Nik Sardos

thirty five feet long
a six hundred pound giant
that’s a big twinkie

twinkiekid

Entry 3

A Twinkie
by Jonathan MacFarlane

I think that I shall never know
a treat so lovely as Twinkies
A bum whose hungry mouth is pressed
against the love in Twinkie’s breast
A cake God made on the 8th day
and crème to make a hard man pray
A treat that may abandoned lay
but never suffers from decay
who intimately lives with shame
Poems are made by fools like me
but only Hostess makes Twinkies

(Inspired by Joyce Kilmer’s “A Tree”)

vote_for_twinkie

Entry 4

Oh Twinkie, My Twinkie
by Chad Barrett

Twinkie, oh twinkie,
Someone please pass a fruit pie.
These wonderful snacks are never dinky,
And that is certainly no lie.

Twinkie, oh twinkie,
Better than a snowball.
I like to wear you on my pinkie
And go screaming down the hall!

Twinkie, oh twinkie,
I also like donettes.
That last verse wasn’t meant to sound kinky,
What the hell rhymes with donettes?

dingdong

Entry 5

Untitled
by Beau Jangles

Golden sponge of joy,
Bursting with delicious cream,
An empty box, shame.

fruit-pie-the-magician1

Entry 6

Acquainted with a Pie
by Beau Jangles

I have been one acquainted with a pie.
I have tasted home baked – and store bought.
I have chosen Hostess which I am to dine.
I have decided chocolate pudding pie is to be sought.

hostess-costume

Entry 7

Fire and Chocolate
by Beau Jangles

Some say the world will end in darkness.
Some say in light.
From what I’ve tasted of these cupcakes.
I hold with cream filling and chocolate.

hostessdisplay

Entry 8

“The Hostess Not Taken”
by WB Brown

Two Aisles diverge in the SuperMart
And sadly, I could not go down both
being one shopper with just one cart
I couldn’t afford much, I knew from the start
only because of the lack of economic growth

The junk food all one one aisle didn’t seem fair
I couldn’t buy it all and that seemed a shame
All that creme filled goodness, I wanted a share
I could spend it all on snacks and not even care
but I knew my budget wouldn’t be the same.

Slowly I reached for a bag of Lays
Then I spotted then Hostess cake rack
They were on sale! my eyes began to glaze
the thought of Twinkies and HoHos set my taste buds ablaze

As I am recalling this, I sigh
I had my snack without much expense
I ate a whole box, didn’t have to try
I’m glad I didn’t pass the junk food aisle by
because I had coupons, and that made all the difference

chocodiles2

Entry 9

Untitled by
Joseph Tages

Many a generation past was enriched by these sweets
Sold by cartoon mascots, all daring and thrilling
Who promised bite full delights of creamy filling
With every box, bag, or pack of our favorite treats.

Be it Twinkie the Kid, King Ding Dong, or Captain Cupcake
Fruit Pie the Magician, Chauncey Chocodile, Happy Ho Ho
And Chief Big Wheel, now part of a past to which we go
Feeling nostalgic for timeless stuff they longer make.

The time is right to bring back these icons of yore
And give Suzy Q her own face, so there may be more
Diverse approaches to selling the best in bakery goods.

Hostess remains a part of an American tapestry
Made out of chocolaty icing and flakey pastry
And smiling kids with memories of happy moods.

twinkiebabiescostume

Entry 10

Oh Hostess! My Hostess
by Mike Becker

O Hostess! my Hostess! our tasty trip can’t be done;
The cart has weather’d every rack, the cake we sought is won;
The checkout is near, the beeping I hear, the people all whining,
While follow eyes the steady wheel, the plastic grim and daring:
But O twinkie! twinkie! twinkie!
O the bleeding cream of white,
Where on the deck my twinkie lies,
Fallen flat and squished.

hohoshostess

Entry 11

Untitled by
Ashley Turner

To love one with gall
enough to say,

“No”

to a ho-ho

is the greatest
no-no
in the book.

  • Nik

    I have to go with this one:

    Entry 5

    Untitled
    by Beau Jangles

    Golden sponge of joy,
    Bursting with delicious cream,
    An empty box, shame.

    SHAME. SHAME INDEED.

  • Mike Becker

    I vote for 10! But I’m biased :)

  • I’ll be the tie breaker in case of a tie.

  • Dawn

    ENTRY 8 – LUV the reference!!!!

  • Scooty Puff Jr.

    number three!!

  • Chris

    I vote for entry #3 because when it said “bum” I chuckled.

  • Dawn

    Number 8, dammit!!!

  • Dawn

    Or number 10

  • Dawn

    Or number 8 for Robert Frost

  • Scarlet

    I vote for entry 10!

  • Aria

    Number 8!

  • Jaime

    Number one. :)

  • WB Brown

    I vote for number 8 because as Mr. Becker stated “…I’m biased :)”

  • They are all so wonderful just like Hostess snacks, but as I can only pick one it is #4 Oh Twinkie, My Twinkie.