A Sad Woman Dies and I Find Out That I’m a Disgusting Person
Okay, it’s big news now that a young woman by the name of Paula Goodspeed, who had tried out for American Idol a few years ago, killed herself by means of a drug overdose near Paula Abdul’s house. If you click on the above video you can see the segment that had aired on American Idol.
This isn’t the story I want to tell you today. The story that I must tell today is that I proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that I’m a terribly disgusting person. You see, when I watched video and my very first thought was, “Wow! She’s got big cans. Why did she kill herself?!” Because for some reason in the animal recesses of my pig brain, young women with “big cans” have everything to live for and shouldn’t have any problems. This thought lasted about tenth of a second before the non-gonad parts of me took over again.
I apologize.






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