2014’s Worst Halloween Costumes: The Sequel!

2014’s Worst Costumes gets a sequel because the fan’s demanded it. Actually, Chris and I had so much fun putting together the last one that it was inevitable. Enjoy some of the worst costumes we could find on the internet this year.

ALS Bucket Challenge Costume

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Chris: Great. I’m completely dumbfounded right off the bat. Why is this costume full of condom wrappers?

Vincent: Maybe it’s the AIDs bucket challenge and they screwed up.

Photo Provided by: Brands on Sale

Sexy Marge Simpson Costume

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Vincent: Nothing really turns my crank like Marge Simpson.

Chris: She looks like Marge if Marge aged in real time.

Vincent: Cranked still turned.

Photo Provided by: Spirit Halloween

Sexy Sonic the Hedgehog Costume

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Vincent: What are the chances that there is a female that likes Sonic the Hedgehog enough to want to dress like him AND wants to be sexy while doing so?

Chris: Probably better than you’d think, actually. If you haven’t peered into the rabbit’s hole that is the Sonic Wikipedia page, let’s just say there may be no bottom.

Photo Provided by: Spirit Halloween

Sexy Sonic the Hedgehog Costume 2

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Vincent: So… which one is worse, Chris?

Chris: You, for making me see things I can’t unsee. Also, this looks like a retarded unicorn. And I can say that because my cousin is a unicorn.

Photo Provided by: Yandy

Tardis Dress Costume

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Vincent: I think the Tardis could be a lot sexier.

Chris: You’re crazy. This is a totally normal costume. I’ve seen people make these at cons for years. I get it.

Vincent: You’re a huge Doctor Who fan. Would you wear this dress?

Chris: I’d wear anything that brought me closer to Doctor Who.

Photo Provided by: Spirit Halloween

Progressive Flo Costume

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Chris: I dislike the Flo character. I find her creepy. If I remember correctly, they have a gizmo you put in your car that monitors how you drive to supposedly give you discounts but if you need to brake for a yellow light, it registers that as unsafe driving.

Vincent: I’ve actually had that thing and can confirm that it encourages you to drive as fast as possible through yellow lights in order to avoid sudden braking. In regards to this costume, it’s disappointing that this isn’t a “sexy” Flo costume.

Photo Provided by: Spirit Halloween

Sexy “Saloon Girl” Costume

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Vincent: This literally is a sexy prostitute costume… for a tween. Yes. It says teen, but this is was in the tween costume section. Tweens are ages 10 to 12 years old. Draw your own conclusions.

Chris: She looks like the villain’s sidekick from a steam-punk Western movie that had a huge budget but no one went to see.

Vincent: And yet this Western steam-punk film spawned an inexplicably huge hit song, “Wild Wild Tween.”

Photo Provided by: Spirit Halloween

Tribal Spirit Tween Costume

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Vincent: I blame Twilight for this disaster.

Chris: When you can’t think of a character, just go as a vague ethnicity. Deplorable.

Photo Provided by: Spirit Halloween

Big Baby Mens Costume

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Chris: This looks like a dying Cap’n Crunch mech piloted by a not-well-hidden man.

Vincent: Poor Cap’N Crunch. The Soggies finally got to him.

Photo Provided by: Spirit Halloween

Comic Strip Costume

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Vincent: This suit is covered in the worst stereotypes in comics, something that headline writers still use today, “Bam! Pow! Zap! Captain America is a Hit at the Box Office!” Why isn’t this a green suit covered in question marks?

Chris: Famous comic illustrator George Perez’ wife makes him shirts like this and has for decades. No one’s tried to emulate the look… until now!

Vincent: I love how I go nerdy and then you go ultra nerdy.

Photo Provided by: Yandy

“Galaxy Gremlin” Costume

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Vincent: Well this is awkward. Jedi Master Yoda has been murdered and some model is wearing his skull as a trophy.

Chris: There’s little that’s sexier than a girl in a bathrobe with a muppet on her head.

Photo Provided by: Yandy

“Striped Clown” Costume

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Vincent: Sexy Striped Clown aka Ronald McDonald. There are many things that I was attracted to, even as a child, like She-Ra and Lady Jaye. Ronald McDonald was never one of them.

Chris: It looks more like the demon version of Beetlejuice. I expect those arms to start unraveling and a merry-go-round to pop out of her head.

Vincent: There’s some Suicide Girl making that costume right now.

Photo Provided by: Yandy

Apple Bottom Country Girl

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Vincent: I’ve lived in more rural communities. I don’t feel like this is an accurate reflection of any of the women that also lived in these communities.

Chris: The perfect costume when you want to wear the least possible and also promote healthy fruit.

Vincent: On a side note, where are the Halloween parties that are attended by the women that wear these kinds of costumes (and pull them off) and how do I get an invite?

Photo Provided by: Yandy

Superman Costume

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Vincent: Remember the super expensive Batman costume? Well here’s the 800 dollar Superman version.

Chris: It does not compare. This looks like a roided out, 80s WWF version of Superman.

Photo Provided by: Spirit Halloween

Big Lebowski Costume

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Vincent: Glad someone could put this costume together form me, seems really difficult.

Chris: If you wanted to dress like the dude, but didn’t own these pieces, why not visit the thrift store? It’d cost you… a buck?

Photo Provided by: Spirit Halloween

Brutus from Popeye

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Chris: Unfortunate photo. Looks like he’s wet his pants. Who wants to dress up like a villain who was last relevant in a 34-year old movie?

Vincent: This costume is perfect for those whose favorite comic character isn’t the hero, but an attempted rapist.

Photo Provided by: Spirit Halloween

Tonto from the Lone Ranger Costume

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Chris: Suddenly that Twilight-inspired shirt and feather don’t look so offensive.

Vincent: Joke’s on this guy. In Wisconsin he’d have to wear a coat and boots and then he’s just creepy bird head guy.

Photo Provided by: Spirit Halloween

Banana Hammock Costume

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Vincent: Who would wear this? Guess 1: Middle-aged sales dude for small company that really wants to show his funny side that he never gets to show off.

Chris: His dick is a banana. I’ll give you an hour to catch your breath.

Photo Provided by: Spirit Halloween